Why is Pine the Best White Chris™️
ok now let me give you the bulletpoints about one Mr. Christopher Whitelaw Pine and how he became the Best White Chris™️
He’s the most self-aware of the Chrises and checks his privilege on the regular. So much so that 3 years ago on this site, I declared he was gonna be the first white male star to work with Ava DuVernay. The Indie Spirit gods just told me in that moment.
He seeks out feminist material to work in.
He looks like a hot, deranged professor on the regular.
He has a degree in English from Berkley, where he wrote nonsensical poetry and took an erotic fiction writing class, where word on the street his stories were GOOD.
He owns a flip phone and eats his food like a 5 year old.
His pants are forever too tight.
He’s blind as hell.
He stays dressing like DiCaprio in Romeo + Juliet.
Dude collects blankets and uses big ass words for no reason.
He wears a pinky ring and can actually pull it off.
THE GREY IN HIS BEARD
His adorkable 12 year old ass wrote this letter to Premiere Magazine about wanting to be Kristy Swanson’s sidekick if she didn’t have a boyfriend.
His underwear bulge in Unstoppable.
Hell or High Water. The Princess Diaries 2.
He got a black eye from Idris Elba during filming Star Trek 3, and he was so proud that he wanted to flaunt that shit.
This:
He lived down Just My Luck
Whatever good-good he was giving Olivia Munn back in the day that made me stop and go “Oh word?”
He got nominated for an Emmy, and no one ever talked about it.
I sat through a film called Blind Dating because of him.
His haircut in Wonder Woman.
That concludes this TED Talk.
Update:
All other white Chrises are invalid!
Another update:
The directors He and Patty Jenkins chose for I Am The Night are *chef’s kiss*
Update #3:
He will never be defeated!
Update #4:
We love a man who supports small businesses during the pandemic and wears his face mask properly. Also, the amount of books in that bag is erotic.
