ok I took a bit more than an hour, I have time blindness don’t @ me.
Step one, download and install Firefox.
https://www.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/new/
It will ask if you want to import all your bookmarks and saved passwords from your current browser/s. Do that. It will also ask if you want to make it your default browser. Do that too.
You will be given the option to create an account, but it’s not mandatory. It’s just a convenience service if you want to access your bookmarks and saved passwords on different devices.
Firefox has a load of built-in privacy protections but we’re going to install some addons to make it EVEN BETTER. Don’t worry they’re all free and once you’ve installed them you don’t have to think about them again.
First, Duck Duck Go Privacy Essentials. Firefox does still set your default search engine to Google, we don’t want that. You could manually change it but the Duck Duck Go addon gives you some tracker blocking, encryption, private searching, all set up and ready to go
https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/duckduckgo-for-firefox
Next you need an ad blocker. ABP went stupid, so here’s uBlock
https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/ublock-origin/
Do you use farcebook or any related product like instagram? Facebook Container automatically puts those in a little quarantine pen so they can’t follow you around and spy on what else you’re doing
https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/facebook-container/
If you have multiple accounts (eg. work/school, family, public, personal, private) you can use Firefox Multi-Account Containers to manage them and keep their footprints separate
https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/multi-account-containers/
Privacy Badger and HTTPS Everywhere are published by the Electronic Frontier Foundation, and those people are serious as a heart attack when it comes to online privacy.
Privacy Badger sends a do not track signal, and also breaks link tracking by sites like facebook, twitter, etc.
https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/privacy-badger17
HTTPS Everywhere is… ok there’s a lot to explain here, and we’re already longposting so just, every time you connect to any page it makes it more secure.
https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/https-everywhere/
If you want to learn a bit about how this works and why it’s good to have, might as well start with the HTTPS page on wikipedia
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/HTTPS
You could stop here, that’s pretty good. But you can do more. You could install NoScript. A big warning with this one, it can break half the internet. It’s a LOT more user friendly than it used to be but if you can’t figure shit out by fucking around you should probably skip it. It blocks scripts from running without permission, protecting you from drive-by scripts that give your computer herpes, but also sometimes protecting you from script-heavy sites working at all.
https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/noscript/
Lastly an honourable mention for Ghostery. Ghostery has been a solid privacy addon for years, and now has adblocking powers. Honestly I haven’t used it in ages, a long time ago it conflicted with something else I deemed more important so I removed it and I never got around to picking it back up, but it has a great reputation and is trusted by a lot of people who I trust.
https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/ghostery/
Now, this all only covers your browser activity, which is a lot but you will still need to manually adjust privacy settings on your google/gmail/youtube account/s if you have any, your facebook/instagram account/s if you have any, and your actual gotdamn operating system if you use windows. I know it seems like a lot of effort, I’m a lazy bitch too, but it’s very set-and-forget, you only need to do it once, and then just review it a couple of times a year.
Here’s some stuff about Windows 10 privacy settings
https://pixelprivacy.com/resources/windows-privacy-settings/
https://www.cnet.com/how-to/5-privacy-settings-to-change-in-windows-10/
And some stuff about google privacy settings
https://mashable.com/article/google-privacy-setting-you-should-enable-now/
And some stuff about facebook privacy settings
https://www.trustedreviews.com/news/facebook-privacy-settings-2939307
And here’s an honest explanation of what a VPN really does and does not do, why you don’t actually need one, and the few real reasons you might ever want one
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WVDQEoe6ZWY
And a bit about password managers
https://www.cnet.com/news/best-password-managers-for-2020/
This is by no means the limit of the steps you can take to secure your online privacy, if you want to go deeper you definitely can. But if you don’t want to or don’t have the time or aren’t very technically minded, this will still put you way ahead of the pack. It won’t make you The Most Private but it will make you Much More Private Than Most, and it should take you less than an hour or two, depending on how many accounts you have on predatory datenkraken sites.
Now go hide your panties from the evil empire.