“If they asked how I died tell them: Still angry.”

she/her | japanese | late 20s • header photo by me. please do not repost without credit

[tzikeh]

More examples of the WORST mansplaining here.

[useyourblinker]

This might be my favorite

[lotsofcatsandcheapwine]

This is mine

[stockyardsyndrome]

[ticklefighthockey]

goshhhh I love that hudson plays show!shane as way more emotionally vulnerable than book!shane. show!shane is always rolling over and showing ilya his soft underbelly (often without even realizing it) and ilya is always like AAA AAAAAAAA YOU CAN’T DO THAT YOU CAN’T LET PEOPLE SEE YOU FEEL and then shane’s big brown eyes start getting all shiny/wet with tears and his bottom lip wobbles a little and ilya is like well now I have to kms. or take care of you forever. AGH

[penandinkprincess]

there's angst in it, too, but given the way nicotine makes some people feel really sick, i'm laughing about the idea of poor shane not knowing that he's just REALLY sensitive to it in their early days and ilya who was nervous but would never admit it so ALWAYS smoked a cigarette or two right before meeting up

to the end result that their early meetings were always quick so shane didn't start feeling sick until after ilya had already cleaned up and gone, so he thought it was just his body telling him this was a bad idea and don't do it again and gotta stop-

-until next time when he just couldn't resist

and over time, ilya stopped smoking before meeting up (and eventually really smoking at all) because shane always complained about the smell, so shane stopped feeling sick after, and after they're together, shane just sometimes fondly shakes his head at past self him like "oh buddy, that must have just been anxiety getting you. silly past me. i'm so happy i'm settled into this now. :)"

until the day ilya has a really stressful day and just REALLY needs that hit so buys some nicotine gum as a compromise, chews it, chases the other stress relief of making out with his boyfriend (with shane complaining about the taste but not pulling away) starting to get frisky-

-and then shane bolting to the bathroom to get SO sick

and he REMEMBERS this feeling

which means he puts the pieces together of what EXACTLY had him spiraling out about getting so sick back in the early days of struggling with his sexuality and just turns to ilya like

YOU

[penandinkprincess]

oh MAN, afterwards, though, ilya becomes THE most militant "put that out" person in any given gathering if shane is around. doesn't matter how many times shane tells him he doesn't need to do that. he's still doing that.

they're having dinner with some of ilya's old team from boston, someone lights up because they're out on the patio, and ilya fully pulls the cigarette out of their hand and stubs it out.

and the rest of the team WHO HAS SEEN ILYA SMOKE SO MANY TIMES is just ??? what??? just happened????

[penandinkprincess]

i really need to commit to microwaving this in my brain enough to fic it because i still think about this and laugh

[penandinkprincess]

SHANE BABY I'M SO SORRY

AT LEAST THE FIRST PART OF THE EXPERIENCE WAS FUN

[penandinkprincess]

wait no how did six months of silence after their first time angst get into the funny haha nicotine fic tf

who approved this

[penandinkprincess]

and that's on investing wisely

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

so strange when people assume 'waking up early' means increased productivity bc no??? im awake so i can read fanfic in bed before breakdown

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

BREAKFAST

[penandinkprincess]

I need you to know of its existence for #shallergies reasons

god, they truly created temptation for shane hollander specifically

[springtimesadness]

I can just imagine Shane and Ilya coming across this in the grocery store. Shane stops and stares at it. The two share a look. And Ilya just starts dying inside because how is he supposed to say no to this? Can he win this? What's stopping Shane from just coming back and buying a case on his own?

[penandinkprincess]

i mean it says "natural" flavors but only calls out being made with real ginger, so it might be fake mango

these could be the nicotine patches of shane's mango habit lmao

[penandinkprincess]

I've been thinking about Spaghetti the snake for three straight days, and you know how Harris has the little video series with some of the players? BBQing with Bood, Riding with Roz, something with Wyatt and comics... I offer you: Snakes with Shane. He shows off Spaghetti, answers common questions about snake ownership, and corrects common misconceptions. He doesn't want to be the Asian hockey player, and he doesn't want to be the Gay hockey player, but he will be the Snake hockey player.

i love the idea of shane just accepting that the world is going to try and box him into SOMETHING other than just hockey so FUCK IT

SNAKES

if herptology with hollzy means he doesn't get any more questions about gay culture that he cannot answer and doesn't want to learn about, then FINE

listen UP motherfuckers today we're talking about the importance of proper feeding schedules-

[penandinkprincess]

GOD this meaning people start coming to meet and greets with their snakes to say hi to shane and get a picture with him

and ilya meanwhile is just

because great. more snakes around him. all the fucking time. wonderful.

[sophsun1]

The Birdcage (1996) dir. Mike Nichols

[homunculus-argument]

The Odyssey but retold as a low-stakes modern adventure of one guy out with his girlfriend leaving the bar with his buddies to do just one (1) simple thing real quick, it'll take like 15 minutes tops, he'll be right back, but then some bullshit happens and the trip keeps getting more complicated as more bullshit keeps happening while he just tries to get back to the bar because he promised his girlfriend that he'd get back and he knows that she's still there because she told him she'd wait there.

And by the time he finally gets back it's almost 3 am and the bar is about to close while she's sitting there stone cold sober, surrounded by 5 drunk guys unsuccessfully trying to convince her to give up on waiting for him and go home with one of them instead. And the guy shows up to proceed to beat the shit out of them before explaining himself to her like hey sorry bullshit kept happening, my phone fell into a storm drain and my wallet got stolen when I was trying to find someone who'd borrow me a phone so I could call and

[thekijs]

His girlfriend had been fending off the 5 drunk guys for most of the evening by explaining that even if she was going to ditch her boyfriend, she can't possibly leave without finishing her beer, which she is keeping perpetually full via careful sleight of hand where she's just pouring it back and forth into and out of the pitcher.

However the drunk guys are also drinking, and eventually she can't afford to buy another pitcher for the table so she can't keep up the ever-full beer glass trick. At this point she has to resort to setting up the pool trick shot that she's never seen anyone but her boyfriend pull off, and says she'll leave with whoever manages the shot first.

That buys her another hour or so and then, finally, her boyfriend makes it back. He looks like shit, hair down and just a mess, he's wearing an entirely different jacket that he got from an alley, and barely recognizable—especially to 5 guys who've been drunk for hours now. He lurks for a minute, finds out what's going on, and proceeds to pull off the trick shot first try. Throws the jacket off, fixes his hair with a hair tie his girlfriend lends him, finally looks like himself again, and THEN beats the shit out of them with the pool cue.

[weaselle]

yuh i was there, that's how it happened

[thisfeebleheart]

the sweet little shin kiss is so dear to me

[not-your-average-url]

I miss when ads were a single click and then they’re gone. Now every ad has a minimum of three phases where you watch a video, exit the still frame of fake gameplay, and then exit the app download. That doesn’t even touch on the ones that forcibly take you to another app after opening a tab in safari without you ever touching the screen.

I hate advertising. I hate that you can’t do anything without companies jumping down your throat with mostly bullshit ads. I hate that billboards exist. I hate that every company unanimously decided to make their ads longer and longer. I hate that ad blockers try to charge you money and there are in app purchases to remove ads. I hate that my attention has become commodified. I hate that there’s nothing I can do about it.

[huariqueje]

Threshold - Nerrida Parfitt , 2026

Australian , b. 19

Oil on canvas , 52.5 x 52.5 cm.

[firstprinced]

@yearnalisms requested to bring this beautiful text post by @honeyybrii to gif form! all inspo credit to op of the text post! 💜 this tag is especially a good sum up of the set:

#it's genuinely so funny everytime ilya tries to teeheehaha around an insecurity #shane is like actually 🤓👆🏻

[grand-theft-carbohydrates]

stop using chatgpt!!!! take a bronze pin and carve your questions onto an ox scapula, then toss it into the fire!!!! use the cracks to divine the gods answer!!!!

[grand-theft-carbohydrates]

citations still have to be APA 7th edition though. if you plagiarise, the gods will flood the yellow river again. and you'll lose your academic standing.

[dkpsyhog]

(The Gods, personal communication, July 18, 2024)

[snakeplantz]

Merlin BBC Merlin they could never make me form a solid opinion about you !!! World’s bravest coward. The most loyal traitor. The most honest liar. The gentlest murderer. Destroys everything trying to avoid destruction. What a guy !!!!!!!

[purpie-goddess]

Something about Merlin being allegorical to the concept of the “perfect queer person”. A queer person who allies themselves with their oppressors, hides their identity, and does as they’re told. Someone who never allows themselves the things they desire most and always puts the goals of their oppressors over the community they would be readily accepted by. Someone who would go so far as to betray the rest of their community to avoid disrupting the status quo, despite knowing they’ll never be truly accepted, loved or respected. At first it was out of survival, but eventually it’s out of habit, because this is how they learn to live.

“Magic will never have a place in Camelot” was the single line that forever condemned Merlin and every magic user to a lifetime of suffering, and the judge jury and executioner was the boy who was supposed to be their saviour, who forgot how to want to be free.

[lazer-exe]

I'm gonna say it, I do think that even the laziest person imaginable should have a roof over their head, food in their stomach, and access to healthcare

[ilyapasta]

Anyway scrimmages are enrichment for post-rivalry married on the Cens hollanov. Don’t talk to Shane right now Luca, he’s thinking about slamming Ilya into the boards and saying “Too slow, eh Rozanov?” Before expertly stealing the puck and scoring with reckless aggression on their poor backup goalie. He’s going to suck on Ilya’s bruise later. Wiebe is wondering if this is at all productive but like. Hollander and Rozanov did take a slight pay-cut.

[ilyapasta]

Ilya in a huddle with Bood and Troy and the d-men like “don’t fuck this up for me we have to take him down” and Troy is smirking like “don’t you mean them?” And Ilya is like “NO. Hollander. We take him down like a hoard of ants. Why are you laughing Barrett? This is not funny. This is not haha. He sees through you and knows all your fears. He is relentless. When he can’t play hockey he reads about it. What was the last book you read, Dykstra?”

[hateusandseeifwemind]

[pinene]

Can anyone explain wtf is going on here especially a Korean speaker

[tadeadshihamurder]

someone on reddit explained 😭

[no-one-offical]

‎

[desmolbean404]

That is one of the most astronomical fuck up translations I have ever seen.