[wexregolden]

The six horsemen of Eurovision

[woodsdyke]

so my dad's car insurance called me today and was like hey we're trying to get a hold of this dude and found your name and thought y'all might be related (i have an incredibly uncommon surname). so I was like yeah that's my dad. can you tell me what he did this time

and i could tell she wasn't supposed to tell me, but heard the absolute exasperation in my voice and just knew i was his child. she described that there was "a fender bender, and an altercation, in a restaurant parking lot" and that his lawyer was trying to get a hold of him to tell him his court summons had been waived

my parents own a restaurant so I figured it was their parking lot but upon asking my mom i have learned

it was a burger king parking lot. he physically fought a guy in a rural pennsylvania burger king parking lot. love and light ☀️

[woodsdyke]

update: my dad's response to my questioning

[woodsdyke]

got the full story from my dad:

-pulled up to the burger king drive through and a guy was just standing in the way. my dad rolls down the window and tells him to get out of the way

-guy goes over to the window of my dad's car and starts yelling at him for some reason

-guy throws a slushie in my dad's face and then starts to walk off

-my dad, and i quote, "just fuckin blacked out" and, in an apoplectic haze, hits the dude with his truck, not hurting him but flinging him a respectable distance and knocking him to the ground. i at this point ask why he didn't just get out and punch him. he says "i don't know something just came over me", while understanding this isn't an excuse to hit people with your truck

anyway my dad's on probation now

[woodsdyke]

you didn't ask for "my dad hitting a guy with his truck" updates but i have some anyway. turns out the guy he hit 1. is named bronson tate and 2. has two DV charges so i think this is warranted now

[sorrysomethingwentwrong]

“Strike Your Fancy” by Arna Miller and Ravi Zupa

[z1z]

2020 Commemorative custom Blueberry guitar for Aurelio Voltaire

[valtsv]

James I saw 'new liver’ and thought Wait JAMES HAD A LIVER TRANSPLANT AND I DIDN’T KNOW? Only to find out it’s followed by ‘same eagles’, then I’m like thank god it’s just mythology stuff.

get a FREE LIVER TRANSPLANT with this 1 SIMPLE TRICK!

[lanterjax]

That’s not where the liver is?

[valtsv]

[garbuge]

earrings change your gender not like fully but they Change it

[fullyfunctionalminiaturebeehive]

They're a flavour enhancer, like salt or soy sauce.

[digitaldiscipline]

MSG (more substantial gender)

[fairycosmos]

since the tender age of 11 i have been so Scared due to everything being so Scary

[leolaroot]

a kitty is like a stuffed animal that is so heavy and it bite you and she loves you so much and you're best friends

[beeshrektestinthemall]

[andhumanslovedstories]

A real rough one for Scurvy

[andhumanslovedstories]

Here’s an evening update to prove she is beautiful

[destielementary-my-dear-watson]

[screnarchive-deactivated2022042]

me justifying the actions of my found family of morally gray characters

[garbage-empress]

*walks by 7/11*

blacksmith hammering a taquito: got some good pieces out here if you’re looking to buy, more inside!

[supergameboytwo]

thank you @puyopuyo for these tags

[eatware]

[desinteresse]

When the pandemic is over we gonna attempt flirting irl again despite all being socially insane so it’s gonna be like ‘’Damn shawty you so fine, I wanna excavate your chest cavity and bury myself in it like a badger’’

[glennisthemenace-deactivated202]

why do bat eared foxes look like they're being bullied ,,,,

[blackestbileandsmoke]

Same creature

[roboco-san]

new favorite cursed item

[marisatomay]

can’t wait for spotify wrapped to tell me that i’ve listened to the same three songs all year but in a fun powerpoint graphics kind of way