it wants to be close to me. probably because it is so cold and soft & it knows i am strong and warm

titsay
Today's Document

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Stranger Things
NASA
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izzy's playlists!

Discoholic 🪩
$LAYYYTER
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cherry valley forever
Keni
Show & Tell
occasionally subtle
Acquired Stardust
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

Andulka
Peter Solarz

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"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
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@skunkoon
it wants to be close to me. probably because it is so cold and soft & it knows i am strong and warm
Happy pride month to these three goobers
puppy want a treat?
puppy want a fucking break from it all
Overlock Stitch by @clothes_reetzy
Damn, that's useful
Finally a hand sewing tutorial on a hemline that isn't just the ladder stitch! the ladder stitch disappears when you tighten it, but it's not meant for hemlines because it breaks really easily! The overlock stitch is more stable, so it holds much longer, and it won't pucker or warp the fabric!
What it looks like on the right side of a Hawaiian shirt I shortened and hemmed by hand.
Once when I was in undergrad, someone described something as “problematic” in class and our professor was like, “That’s cool, but ‘problematic’ doesn’t really mean anything. It means that the thing you’re describing has a problem, and in and of itself that’s not bad. Art, especially, should always have problems, or else it’s not interesting and not art, either. It sounds like you’re trying to say that this is bad, but you don’t want to say ‘bad.’ Is that right?”
So from then on whenever one of us called something problematic, he would make us talk it out until we could name the “bad” thing we were hinting at. In this particular class, 7/10 it was some type of oppression, and the remainder was like, “I’m uncomfortable because this is very new/confusing/pushing boundaries that made me feel safe.”
Once we stopped calling things “problematic” and stopping at that, class got way more interesting and... we all had to say, like, “that’s racist” or “that’s misogynistic” or “ew capitalism gross” out loud, which a lot of us had never done in a classroom before. Or we had to be like, “Uhhh... I’m not sure what’s so bad?” and confront our own beliefs and that was maybe even more useful.
Anyway. Whenever I see the word problematic, I can’t help but think of this professor being like, “Good starting point, now let’s get specific.” I think when we have to commit to saying “that’s ___” it requires a lot more careful thought about the truth and impact and complexities of whatever we’re claiming. Sometimes there really is some bullshit afoot, and also sometimes it’s art, and it should be full of problems, because that’s what art is.
There is a very specific kind of sadness in realizing your parents loved you, and still did not always know how to meet your emotional needs.
Because it is confusing. It would almost feel easier if there was no love there at all. But sometimes there was love. In the way they tried to protect you. In the sacrifices they made. In the ways they worried about you, cared for you, wanted a good life for you.
And at the same time, there were still things missing.
Maybe comfort did not come in the way you needed it to. Maybe your feelings were not always understood, or noticed, or handled gently. Maybe you learned to keep certain parts of yourself quiet because it felt easier than trying to explain them.
That kind of hurt is difficult because it does not always come from cruelty. Sometimes it comes from people who loved you deeply, but did not know how to emotionally connect in the ways you needed. People carrying their own wounds, limitations, fears, or ways of surviving.
And you are allowed to acknowledge both truths at once.
You are allowed to recognize their love and still grieve what you needed but did not receive. Those things do not cancel each other out.
Forgiveness, for a lot of people, is not pretending nothing hurt you. It is slowly accepting that someone can love you and still fall short of understanding you completely.
That does not make your pain dramatic. It does not make them monsters either. Sometimes it just means everyone was trying with the emotional tools they had, and some of those tools were not enough.
And I think many people quietly carry guilt for still feeling hurt by parents they know tried their best. But being loved imperfectly can still leave wounds. It makes sense that it affected you.
At the same time, you do not have to stay trapped only in anger forever either. Sometimes healing looks like understanding that your parents were human before they were parents. People shaped by their own experiences, their own upbringing, their own emotional gaps.
That understanding does not erase your feelings. It just softens the sharp edges around them a little.
You deserved emotional safety. You deserved gentleness. You deserved to feel understood, comforted, and emotionally close to the people raising you.
And if they could not fully give that to you, it is okay to mourn it.
But I hope you also know this: the love you needed is still something you can experience in your life. Through other people. Through chosen family. Through the way you learn to treat yourself now.
The story does not end at what you did or did not receive growing up.
You are still allowed softness after all of it 🤍
a prayer to st christopher and mother mary
some details in this one that i like:
four leaf clover in the patch of grass
stars on the bottom of grace's converse
fox figure in grace's hand
tiny pluto in the kuiper belt in the diagram of the solar system
i included the moon in the solar system diagram as well
hubble space telescope star blanket. obviously it's hubble.
pulsar map, completely accurate to the one inscribed on the cover of the golden record
small black dots in the halos and celtic knot petrova line to represent the individual astrophage within the petrova line
you people will make anybody a daddy dom it’s so scary
ppl wanted more grocky so here u go
grace shut the fuck UP!!! your body is making noises again you leaky bastard
ryland grace is aroace. however he is also stratt’s dead wife, rocky’s red string of fate starcrossed soulmate, & intensely violently homosexual for mark “simon iron lung” iplier. all things are true & all things can coexist. peace & love on planet erid
YOU SLEEP.
ROCKY. WATCH. VERY CLOSELY.
Grace, explaining how humans evolved: yeah so basically we evolved to be persistance predators where we would just slowly walk towards our prey and track it until it got so tired it couldn't fight back or run away and then we killed it :)
Rocky, who is an Eridian, an AMBUSH predator, who can't see light and so cannot track things the way humans can, and that doesn't have a lot of stamina and literally won't be able to wake up once they fall asleep: grace what the fuck statement--
When Grace picks the name "Rocky", to a human audience, it's kind of like a little joke, right? Oh haha, it's because he looks like a rock, plus a movie reference, right?
But what if the Eridians hear it very, very differently?
Eridians kind of ARE rocks, in more than one way, aren't they? Their outer appearance resembles rocks; and (this might be fanon, I don't recall right now) their *brains* are crystalline structures. They hatch from eggs that probably look like rocks. The environment they live in presumably contains rocks.
What if Eridians view rocks in a kind of reverent, aspirational way? Like "For rocks you are, and to rocks you shall return" but with less of a dismissive/humble tone and more of a "we are fundamental building blocks of reality in every form we take" thing.
And then Rocky is explaining to Eridian linguists who are studying Grace's English what his "human name" means, in English, and the linguists are giving him scandalized side-eye and going "So you met an alien and you told him that THAT was your name? [Wow, what kind of arrogant prick would do that?]" And Rocky is like, "no no nonono, I absolutely did not tell him that was my name. I gave him my real name! Grace picked that name for me, he didn't even ask me for suggestions, I had nothing to do with it! It was like right after we first met properly -- it didn't seem like he even had to think very hard about it."
The linguists question Grace about his reasoning, of course, and Grace is a little embarrassed because he thinks this is a "haha our human is bad at naming things, he found a Tau Ceti amoeba and named it Taumoeba, silly human!"
(Also, he does not want this to end up leading to a movie night where the first movie he has to show a bunch of ALIEN LINGUISTS is Rocky. Just seems like kind of a genre-mismatch, right? And Disney's Atlantis: The Lost Empire is *right there*. Or he could pick some movie that showcases a bunch of different real human languages really well, or... Something that's not a sports drama film.)
So he brushes it off a little, saying something like "Well, sure, it wasn't hard for me to decide to call him Rocky. I mean, it's kind of the obvious choice, yeah?"
And the thing is. It's established knowledge now that all humans can perceive things that Eridians can't perceive. It's not even like superstitious "ooh spooky aliens" woo-woo. Respected, credentialed Eridian biologists have confirmed that humans have *actual, physical organs* that let them detect phenomena that Eridians cannot detect.
So what the Eridian linguists are hearing is that this alien met Rocky, observed Rocky with its strange alien powers of perception, and immediately chose to give Rocky a name that conveys "you resemble the fundamental core of what all your people essentially are and aspire to be". And he said it was obvious.
Imagine a newly-arrived-to-Erid Grace, sealed in a small oxygenated observation room, lying asleep on a cushioned platform. So far, Rocky has been the only Eridian bold enough to put on a xenonite suit and join Grace in the room; other Eridian scientists are gathered just outside, listening to the alien shifting about -- in its sleep!!! -- and occasionally mumbling.
A particularly pessimistic and irritating Eridian is pontificating to the others, insisting on the highest degree of caution when interacting with the alien in any way, even if that comes at the sacrifice of speed in treating the alien's ailments. Rocky is furious at the implication of "even if that comes at the sacrifice of the alien, period", but silent, unwilling to express his counterargument at full volume and risk waking Grace. Still, he is almost vibrating with anger where he sits on the makeshift 'human-style' bed beside his friend.
"This creature moves about even when supposedly at rest! It's unnatural! Perhaps Rocky-hero only survived the journey here at all because he was safely on the other side of a barrier of xenonite and ammonia, out of this creature's reach. Who knows what violent urges and instincts are contained within that bizarre body?"
The collective attention of the gathered Eridians shifts to focus in on Grace's slumbering form.
As if on cue, Grace rolls onto his side, still snoozing away, and cuddles his whole body in a curve around Rocky's, in a shockingly-close mimicry of a parent [Eridian-cat-equivalent] curling around its [Eridian-kitten-equivalent].
Rocky is quite annoyed when the resulting chorus of [Eridian-"awww"-equivalent] IS enough to finally wake his human friend from his much-needed rest.
DONT YOU DARE HIDE THIS IN THE TAGS
I also like to imagine a small subset of Eridians — maybe not bad people necessarily, but freaked out by a rapidly-and-suddenly-changing world and grasping for anything they can do to try and exert control over their circumstances? — jumping down Rocky’s figurative throat about him choosing to share so much potentially-sensitive information about Eridian anatomy and Erid’s culture, government, etc. with the first random sapient alien Rocky found floating out in space.
And then Rocky has to roll his figurative eyes and patiently (or not. Actually, definitely NOT patiently, that’s funnier) point out to those Eridians trying to scold him — the ‘random sapient alien’ freely chose to give ROCKY a massive data dump of information about the alien’s own race, including the precise location of the alien’s planet and instructions for how to build horrific weapons that could wipe out all life on that planet.
Nigerian Pride 🏳️🌈🇳🇬
I meant to have this out yesterday. Happy belated pride. :)
I'm glad you all like the Nigeria Pride post!
Originally, I went in worried the opposite would happen. Growing up, I've been taught that Nigeria, the country, is homophobic. (I was born in America.) But over time, I learned that there's tons of other queer Nigerians; some are out, and some are in the closet 😭.
I'm also not used to this much attention, lol
Thank you all!
A lot of criticism of delivery apps focuses on the fact that they offer convenience and variety, which I find much less compelling than criticizing the fact that the apps often send their contractors on fetch quests from Hell.
There are real labor problems here. Base pay is often insulting. Customer tips carry too much of the burden. Workers need better protections, more transparent algorithms, protection from arbitrary deactivation, and actual recourse when the app or a customer screws them over. Car-dependent delivery is also an environmental and infrastructural problem, though in a denser city I’d still be doing this work; I’d just be doing it by bike.
But when people talk about delivery work, I rarely see them talk to actual delivery workers. I see a lot of abstract arguments about convenience, consumer decadence, “hustle culture,” and internalized neoliberalism. Meanwhile, when I’m out working and waiting in restaurants for orders, the other Dashers I meet are usually people who only speak Spanish, people who read as neurodivergent, visibly physically disabled people, or some combination of the above.
I have not met this mythical Disco Elysium poor ultraliberal hustlegrinder-wannabe people seem to be arguing with. Maybe that archetype exists somewhere. If it exists among any kind of gig worker, it would probably be rideshare drivers. But most of what I see looks less like “rise and grind” and more like “this is one of the few forms of work available to people who need flexibility, low barriers to entry, limited managerial surveillance, or a way to work around language barriers, disability, burnout, chronic illnesses and injuries with symptoms that come and go unpredictably, caregiving, résumé gaps, or discrimination.”
That does not make the current system good. It means the current system is filling a real gap that a lot of supposedly better systems do not even acknowledge.
As a disabled person who is burnout-prone and demand-sensitive, contracting as a delivery driver has given me an unprecedented level of financial flexibility. I can work when I have capacity. I can stop when I’m deteriorating. I can build my day around my actual body instead of being trapped under a manager who thinks “reliable” means “able to perform the same way every day no matter what.” That matters. It does not cancel out the exploitation, but it is also not fake just because it is politically inconvenient.
And delivery itself is not some inherently decadent evil. Sometimes people live alone. Sometimes they are sick. Sometimes they are disabled, exhausted, overwhelmed, grieving, overloaded, or recovering from something else - perhaps the stress and fatigue induced by their own job. Sometimes they need medicine, groceries, or a meal that will actually unplug their sinuses instead of whatever generic community-care slop someone thinks they should be grateful for. Humans are allowed to need specificity. “Food” is not the same as “the food I can actually eat right now.”
A serious labor critique would ask how to make delivery work safer, better-paid, less tip-dependent, less car-dependent, less algorithmically punitive, and less precarious. It would ask what kinds of flexible, accessible work should exist for people who cannot thrive in conventional employment. It would ask how cities could support bike delivery, worker cooperatives, public infrastructure, and real protections without simply replacing one bad system with a moral sermon about how nobody should ever want takeout.
But a lot of the discourse does not do that. It treats convenience itself as suspicious. It treats wanting flexible work as false consciousness. It treats the needs of disabled people, immigrants, and other people who can't fit into traditional employment structures as details to be swept aside in favor of a cleaner political image.
I guess the opinions of delivery workers only count when they are politically convenient.