I felt silly, deal with it. 🔞 MDNI - Horny shit posting - send requests but I never promise anything - This is all for fun and giggles, OOC guaranteed.
@goodboyshanehollander and @goodboylucahaas approved menace.
Edit: Okay real talk: This is one of three side blogs that belong together - The Holy Trinity of Haasollanov/Hollanovaas.
You will find here unhinged horny postings, which are very possibly often OOC and I couldn't care less, because this is all just for fun and giggles and to get you confess that I made you feel something.
Every now and then some romantic shit show will interrupt the timeline. I'm not sorry.
AO3
Minors do not interact, yada yada, I'm not your parent but stay away from here.
Everyone else feel free to send headcanons or request for shorts to fill this blog.
Feel free to use my headcanons as inspiration but please give a shoutout, so I can see and read it. <3
Ilya gets knocked out for a second and the first thing he sees, when he opens his eyes is a worried Luca checking on him before the medics can get to them.
The light and and perspective make Luca look angelic and Ilya is convinced he just died and went to heaven. Thankfully they're not mic'd that day or people would hear Ilya say some really cheesy shit like "I never believed in angels until now" followed by the raunchiest ask to get his dick sucked by those pretty lips.
Luca blushes and stutters incoherently and gets dragged away from a head shaking Shane, while the medics check on Ilya. He's fine just a light concussion.
It's the first time Luca is hard during a game. [It won't be the last time. ;) ]
As soon as Ilya is back on his feet, Shane and him try to get a hold of Luca to talk to him and that's when they find out that Luca would be more than happy to suck Ilya's dick and Shane's on top of that as well.
And so they start the ménage à trout.
That's what you get, when @prettyboyilyarozanov and I chat about WillSmith2. Picture that inspired this under the cut.
For Halloween Ilya wears just a towel around his hips and Sunglasses that have the word "God" written on them. Luca wears white shorts, a halo and angel wings. Shane wears red and black short and little horns.
The trio can barely keep their hands off each other during the party. Once all the guests are gone, they continue the party their own way.
They suck and fuck each other but this time every "Oh God" is directed at Ilya and he's having the time of his life, fucking the devil while his angel sucks him off. He might be in heaven after all.
I really need to finish this damn Oneshot but it sits on my phone and doesn't move. I have 8 more numbers to go (you'll understand once it's done) and its fucking killing me. I can wrap up 4 quickly once I get there but right now it's kind of repetitive and I hate that.
Additionally I have to change the whole Introduction, because I started writing it as a simple headcanon for tumblr but then I had a vision.
Someone send help, it's the third draft of a fanfiction on my phone, I want to finish at least this one, because I love the idea and the way the characters execute it. Even if my writing is bad, I bet some of you might enjoy the hell out of the idea at least. 😭
Sorry for the whiny rant, I'm very mad at my brain.
Maybe I should just stick to short headcanons for tumblr, any wishes?
There's still detail work to be done and technically I need to write a second part because I did myself a disservice again, but at least it's written into existence.
The Haasollanov household has a special locked drawer. The rumors are endless of what's inside since one of players was asked to get something out of the drawer "over there" and tried the wrong one.
The speculations go from documents and medication over drugs to sex toys.
During a casual team meeting, Luca takes off his glasses to clean them. He accidentally drops them just as Ilya steps next to him. Everyone hears the crunch of them breaking.
That's when the team find out that the drawer has two rows of neatly lined up glasses in it. One for Shane and one for Luca.
It's not a secret that Ilya loves the view of his men wearing their glasses. What's not so well known (until now) is that they unfortunately get sacrificed a lot in the bedroom. Enough times at least, that there will always be more than two replacements in that drawer.
*GBIR*
OMG YESSSS I LOVE THISSS
luca is always breaking his glasses more than shane, because ilya always has him down more. he’s got luca bent into the most awkward positions and is wanting him to stay there. not to mention all the times both luca & shane get their glasses broken from the violent face fucking that ilya always puts them through
I love the idea of Luca figuring out how hot he looks with smoked eyeliner after the prostitute role play and that he will start occasionally wearing it to parties and club nights. Women and men alike will try to get into his pants and Ilya and Shane are very torn between being turned on and jealous. Luca never initiates anything but he enjoys the time afterwards when Ilya and Shane are a bit more possessive of him than usual.
Every now and then one of his men - and sometimes both - gets between him and whoever's flirting with Luca. They wrap their arms around his neck or hips or slide their fingers in his hair, looking smugly at the person before kissing Luca who immediately melts under their touch.
Sometimes they don't even make it until home and Luca will suck Ilya off behind the club or in the car. If Shane is in the mood, Ilya might even slap Luca a few times or twist his nipples (bonus points if Luca has the nipple clamps on) so tears well up in his beautiful eyes, making them sparkle just the way Shane loves it. He jerks to the sight of Luca blowing Ilya and they come together in Luca's mouth and in his face. Ilya is more than willing to clean the mess up with his tongue before kissing his men eagerly.
I love the idea of Luca figuring out how hot he looks with smoked eyeliner after the prostitute role play and that he will start occasionally wearing it to parties and club nights. Women and men alike will try to get into his pants and Ilya and Shane are very torn between being turned on and jealous. Luca never initiates anything but he enjoys the time afterwards when Ilya and Shane are a bit more possessive of him than usual.
Every now and then one of his men - and sometimes both - gets between him and whoever's flirting with Luca. They wrap their arms around his neck or hips or slide their fingers in his hair, looking smugly at the person before kissing Luca who immediately melts under their touch.
Sometimes they don't even make it until home and Luca will suck Ilya off behind the club or in the car. If Shane is in the mood, Ilya might even slap Luca a few times or twist his nipples (bonus points if Luca has the nipple clamps on) so tears well up in his beautiful eyes, making them sparkle just the way Shane loves it. He jerks to the sight of Luca blowing Ilya and they come together in Luca's mouth and in his face. Ilya is more than willing to clean the mess up with his tongue before kissing his men eagerly.
Luca has the habbit of licking his lips during games and it drives Shane and Ilya nuts.
Sometimes Ilya wishes, he could just stop a game and let Luca blow him in front of everyone at the stadium. Since this is not possible they can only fantasise about it.
When Luca is blowing Ilya after one game, Ilya says he is sure Luca would love to suck him off in the ice in full gear and Luca instantly starts to drool, blushes and leaks pre cum at the thought.
Ilya can't make that fantasy come true but he can make the next best thing happen. He schedules a special training day for Luca. While Luca's practising, the whole team is coming in, sitting down as close to the ice as possible as if they're game audience.
Ilya and Shane walk on the ice and Ilya calls Luca over, who only now realise the other players in their normal day outfits.
Both men open their pants and Ilya commands Luca on his knees. Luca doesn't hesitates and starts to suck them off, taking turns on their cocks. But Ilya grabs his head and starts fucking his mouth until he comes all over Luca's face. "Who wants next?" he asks, while directing Luca's head towards Shane's cock.
The whole team cheers and Luca will be having the time of his life while sucking off each team member after another on the ice while the rest is watching.
I really need to finish this damn Oneshot but it sits on my phone and doesn't move. I have 8 more numbers to go (you'll understand once it's done) and its fucking killing me. I can wrap up 4 quickly once I get there but right now it's kind of repetitive and I hate that.
Additionally I have to change the whole Introduction, because I started writing it as a simple headcanon for tumblr but then I had a vision.
Someone send help, it's the third draft of a fanfiction on my phone, I want to finish at least this one, because I love the idea and the way the characters execute it. Even if my writing is bad, I bet some of you might enjoy the hell out of the idea at least. 😭
Sorry for the whiny rant, I'm very mad at my brain.
Maybe I should just stick to short headcanons for tumblr, any wishes?
luca goes on a boating trip with the rookies and wears nothing but tiny little tight shorts. ilya sees the photos on instagram and gets hard immediately, seeing his abs on display and his big bulge. shane is blowing up his phone about the lack of life jackets and ilya is calling him boring
luca gets drunk and jumps in the lake. squirts water out of his mouth like a fountain. shane scolds young to get him out of the damn water
luca comes home. ilya puts his hand down those tiny shorts and growls in his ear that he’s going to pay for wearing those tiny shorts around other men. and he does pay for it, by getting his throat violently fucked while he cries and by getting the hell railed out of him
Ilya makes sure to show Luca who can make him feel good the best, although Luca didn't do anything with anyone.
He gets fucked into oblivion by Ilya, Shane blows him, Shane blows him while Ilya is fucking Luca roughly. Ilya makes sure that Luca comes and comes and comes even more. He doesn't stop until Luca comes dry for the second time, ugly crying because it physically pains him and Shane and Ilya are sure that he's about to safe word if they push him through another round.
Ilya is out for a club night with Svetlana, like the ones they used have off season and which they continue just far less regularly now.
Svetlana visits from time to time (she always insists on a hotel room, because she made the mistake to stay over for a long weekend with Ilya and Shane once (!) and the noises she heard haunt her to this day) and every second time or so it's club night.
Shane usually takes those evenings for an extra run and if she's available a long phone call with Rose before he gets to bed.
Shane just said good bye to Rose and is about to brush his teeth when the doorbell rings. The security camera shows poor Svetlana hunched under they weigh of an obviously drunk Ilya, who she tries to steady.
Shane rushes to the door and opens it, confusion and concern written all over his usually so controlled face.
"What the fuck happened, Sveta?" he asks but Svetlana can't even reply, because once he sees Shane, Ilya's face lights up and with an unusual high voice he almost shouts "Shaaane!" and throws himself on his husband nearly pulling him down.
"He's your problem now. My cab is waiting." Svetlana says not unamused at the sight. She wishes Shane good luck and heads to the cab to get to her hotel, way too early for her taste but the night is over for her. As she opens the car door she hears Ilya whining "I mished yu!".
Shane manouvers his husband into the bathroom but quickly realises that the chances of him choking on the toothpaste is higher than getting his teeth brushed properly. Shane thinks about letting Ilya rinse his mouth with mouthwash at least but figures he would probably just swallow it. So he makes him drink a couple of sips of water instead and starts taking off Ilya's clothes, which is a challenge, because Ilya tries to kiss him but misses his lips, then nuzzles his head in the nape of Shane's neck and throws his arms around him all the time, pulling him close in an attempt to cuddle which makes them almost topple over.
"I love you!" he mumbles against Shane neck. And Shane is tired and kind of ennerved but he can't help but smile.
After he managed to have Ilya only in his boxershorts, Shane somehow gets him into bed. He hopes Ilya will fall asleep soon but Ilya won't. He will snuggle against Shane and starts kissing whatever part of him is closest to his lips. He murmurs slurred "I love you" and "I missed you" or just "Shane".
Shane tries to reason with him "Ilya, you need sleep." but Ilya pouts and asks if Shane doesn't love him anymore. Shane rolls his eyes and confesses his love to Ilya and Ilya giggles and starts to move, crawls on Shane and put little kisses everywhere. He's uncoordinated but Shane doesn't really mind now, because he starts getting hard for this version of Ilya, who drank so much just to have a fun night but in the end just wanted to be with him.
When Ilya moves down with his sloppy half open kisses on Shane's belly he realises that he's already half hard and chuckles. that's when Shane knows he's not getting any sleep soon. Ilya tries to pull down Shane's boxers but is still too drunk. That doesn't really stop him from pressing kisses on Shane's dick through the fabric.
He kisses on and moves down to his thighs and mumbles against them, words Shane don't understand but it doesn't matter anyway because Ilya has Shane so hard now. Ilya pulls himself up to level his face with Shane's again and steals some sweet kisses for him and starts moving against him, slowly drifting down to one side pulling Shane half with him. Shane adjusts himself so both are lying on their sides facing each other and Ilya's hand moves arbitrarily over Shane's body, his arms, back and ass, grabbing, stroking and everytime he tries to pull Shane impossibly closer.
He continues to rut his cock slowly against Shane's and moans against his skin, mumbles Little confessions of his love, while pulling Shane in a tight embrace, still moving.
This goes on until they both come in their shorts but Ilya won't let go of his husband. And Shane knows he will be mad for a while tomorrow if he can't get out of bed to clean up but that's a future Shane problem, because present Shane is trapped in the arms of the man he loves and who loves him back even or maybe especially when he is dead ass drunk.
And okay so shane tries to downplay how good it was for him so that he doesn’t really encourage ilya to want to do it again but he can’t stop thinking about it…. So next year for Ilya’s birthday he pulls up with an elegant box (ilya thinks ok he got me cufflinks or sth) and when he opens it there is a small plastic baggie with one (1) gram of cocaine.
sometimes i wonder if we have forgotten that sharing creative work is, fundamentally, a bid for human connection. like I'm not posting art or fic for 'engagement' i'm posting it looking for other sickos to play with! i'd be making it anyway for my own gratification because there's something wrong with me, i'm sharing it hoping we can have something wrong with us together <3
CNC combined with forced intox is so dear to me. Shane who is a prisoner of his own brain tells Ilya and Luca he wants to get dragged out of his thoughts but without the knowledge of it happening, without the nagging thoughts in the back of his head what could go wrong if he drinks too much.
Ilya promises him to think about it and then... does nothing. For weeks Shane is hyper aware of his surroundings until he eventually starts to forget about it. Ilya said he would think about it but never confirmed and obviously he forgot.
That's when Ilya strikes. At one party with the Cens he exclusively orders cocktails for Shane and let the bartender mix in more alcohol.
When Shane realises after his third cocktail that's he's tipsy, it's already too late and the beginning panic is easily drowned when Ilya kisses him with a mouth full of vodka.
Another shot kiss and 10 minutes later Shane is full ass drunk. Ilya types a message for Luca and gets Shane home with a cab. At home Luca hands Shane a glass of clear liquid. It takes Shane two gulps to notice it's not water. As he wants to put the glass down, Ilya takes over and makes him empty it. 5 minutes later Shane is wasted, unable to form full sentences and the words that leave his mouth are slurred up to incomprehensible gibberish.
It takes both, Luca and Ilya to get Shane to the bedroom and to undress him, his limbs all heavy and his cock already hard. The lay him down on the bed and start kissing his whole body. Luca blows him while Ilya preps Shane's hole, a bit rougher than needed. Shane is a moaning mess under their touches, needy and greedy and thrusting his hips uncoordinated upwards and winding himself under his men.
He comes the first time into Luca's mouth, groaning loud, much louder than he usually does.
Luca continues his blowjob on the softening cock while Ilya starts fucking Shane until he's hard again. Luca then starts to put little hickeys and bitemarks on Shane's body and Shane is loosing is, crying and screaming in pleasure. After a bit Luca fucks Shane's mouth in a rough rhythm, while Shane is crying around his cock and moving with the thrusts of Ilya.
He comes a second time hands free before Ilya and Luca are done. They fuck his holes until both come inside him and leave him whimpering and shivering cum leaking out of his ass and mouth.
Ilya will make sure to clean him up and Luca and him take shifts of sleeping and watching over Shane until he wakes up in the morning, relaxed and still empty brained, smiling and nuzzling himself closer against them.
Ilya was prepared and set up the camera to film the bedroom, because he knows that Shane won't remember (much) of the night. When the three of them are finally all awake and Shane is still kind of light headed, he asks what happened.
Ilya grins, tells him not to worry and that they have breakfast first, before discussing last night. Luca is blushing slightly, but agrees.
After breakfast Ilya pulls Shane on the couch, Luca sits on his other side.
"You want to know what happened?" Shane nods but isn't exactly sure anymore if he really wants to know.
"Let's watch the footage" Ilya says and let the video play. Shane is embarrassed at the sight of himself too drunk to object anything but he also gets immediately hard as he sees himself getting used by Ilya and Luca.
"You made such noise", Ilya purrs into Shane's ear. "Were so loud, so needy." He continues to talk like this to Shane for the entire time, telling him how useless he was, what a drunk slut, unable to fend them of and greedily took what they gave him. Shane feels embarrassed but horny, ashamed and turned on. He's trembling and staring with teary eyes at the screen, biting his lower lip as he hears himself come the first time, his dick twitching in his boxer shorts.
Ilya gestures at Shane's bulge and tells Luca to take care of it, while he pulls Shane a bit closer. Shane tries look away from the screen as he sees how he squirmed under his men but Ilya carefully grabs his chin and points at the video.
"Keep watching, you wanted to know. Look what a drunk cock slut you were, enjoyed being used without question." and Shane whimpers as Luca starts blowing him, while he himself watches how Luca took advantage of his own mouth earlier.
"Came even before us, so desperate. All the time so desperate to get filled up!"
It doesn't take Shane long to come into Luca's mouth, earlier than Luca and Ilya on the screen.
They will repeat this night one way or another and Shane will never know when it's happening. He'll always get a video to watch the next morning.
I was tagged by @prettyboyilyarozanov! Thank you, dear!
Rules: Make a poll with 10 of your favorite movies. They can be just 10 movies you loved seeing, or your top 10 movies of all time, then tag people and let them choose.
No particular order
Cruel Intentions
Ocean's 8
Marvel's Avengers
K-Pop Demon Hunters
Miss Congenitaly
Red (Pixar)
Legally Blonde
Total Recall (2012)
Hocus Pocus (1993)
Top Gun Maverick
Voting ended onJul 15
I'm tagging @stilinscute @katzen-kinder @sparklequeen1989 @etherealesc and whoever feels inspired to take part in this.
