Justice For Gotham

she/her | 23 | didn't expect to circle around into a batman/batfam hyperfixation but here we are

[stillnotsquashed]

I think a teenaged Dick and Barbara would have made a short horror film using caves and tunnels off of the Batcave and Dick’s contortionist abilities to make him seem possessed. Even Bruce admits it is genuinely horrifying.

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I feel like people focus on the idea of the Robins all being de-aged as this cute thing but I feel like Bruce would genuinely have met his match if all the Robins ended up de-aged to Robin age all at once. Like Dick and Damian are starting rival fractions. Stephanie has sided with Damian while Dick's got Tim on his side. Jason is running around trying to keep the peace. Dick has already stolen the Batmobile three times. Three different fires have been started and Bruce has only found the culprit for two of them. If he tries to supervise Dick and Damian who seem to be the ones inciting the most mischief, he can't watch them both because they end up trying to kill each other but passing one off to Alfred means that Tim, Stephanie and Jason aren't watched which means Tim and Stephanie are going to be launching rescue missions for their respective partners. And Jason might be peacefully reading in the library or he might have threatened to rat on one of the others to Bruce and ended up locked in a supply closet. And Bruce wants to call in back-up but who is he meant to call without it meaning he is admitting that he cannot handle these kids all at once.

(The answer is Barbara who takes Dick and Tim to the clock tower and fits them with ankle monitors so she knows if they try to leave)

[stillnotsquashed]

Bruce using a lift journey to smarten Dick up. Like it is the first time he is taking Dick to see the Wayne board and they get into the lift together and Bruce is just fussing. And then Bruce apologises because he doesn't want Dick to feel like he the board won't like him but Dick is grinning because before a show his mother would fuss over his costume and smooth out his hair and it makes him feel so loved.

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Bruce Wayne be like: This is not my circus but that is now my acrobat.

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Dick and Bruce have been banned from playing family games on the same team. Any game that requires understanding or predicting the other person, they are just too good at. One time, they were playing codewords and Bruce got Dick to guess every word with just the clue of 'Cat'. Jason once held Dick's arms behind his back while they were playing charades and Bruce was still able to guess 'Sound of Music'.

[jcsonlover]

<3

[dinitxi]

I love you, fatson todd

[jcsonlover]

Jason 🐾

[robs-your-robins]

How do you think the batfams life’s would look like if they weren’t vigilantes?

Bruce doesn't have to do the whole Brucie Wayne performance any more so he focuses on WE, especially its humanitarian efforts but most of the time he's a stay at home dad.

Alfred retires officially cared for by Bruce and the kids, he still lives at the Manor except a few wild weekends away with the other grandparents.

Jason becomes a middle school teacher, who fiercely loves his kids and runs literacy programs for underprivileged youth.

Damian is torn between becoming a veterinarians surgeon or a paediatrician, he's studying hard to get into a good college rn.

Dick works with various charities around performers and safety with stunt people, he organises care for elderly actors or stunt doubles and medical care for permanently injured performers.

Cass trains to become a professional ballerina and works with a dance teacher who teaches children from all around Gotham.

Steph is training to become a nurse like her mom but wants to work in psychiatric medicine.

Duke uses his powers to help people still, helping those who can't or won't ask the GCPD for help and in his downtime, he mostly chills with his friends and volunteers after school with a community centre his mom used to help run where he can mentor kids.

Tim still lives in Gotham but he likes to travel the world too. He runs different branches of WE but went into his family business of archaeology, solving ancient mysteries just to scratch that itch.

[arcade-confetti]

In series with no killing Jason should play up the magic and just say that he sent someone to the shadow realm

[papayafromtv]

scenarios Alfred Pennyworth has to be a witness to as a resident of Wayne Manor that the batkids have absolutely no shame in front of whatsoever part 22 (masterpost here)

Alfred, walking past Damian's bedroom at night: *slows, squints through the open door*

Damian: *clearly dressed to go out, buttoning up his shirt*

Alfred: Master Damian?

Damian, calmly: yes, Pennyworth?

Alfred: are you... going out?

Damian: yes, why?

Alfred, narrowing his eyes: i was under the impression that Master Bruce grounded you for the weekend.

Damian, instantly: no, he benched me. he never grounded me, he simply banished me from patrol for a few days. he never specified that i couldn't go out as a civilian.

Alfred:

Alfred: i see. and where, might i ask, do you plan on spending this fine evening out on the town?

Damian: one of my classmates has an older sibling that has gotten us invited to a party on his school's campus. i assure you, i plan on remaining safe and staying away from recreational drugs and heavy drinking.

Alfred: right. and this party doesn't just so happen to be on Gotham University grounds, does it?

*a beat*

Damian: maybe.

Alfred, dryly: the very same party that your father and siblings are currently staking out due to rumours of suspicious rogue activity?

Damian, innocently: well i wouldn't know anything about that, being as i was benched from patrol. i'm simply a young teenager trying to have fun.

Alfred:

Alfred: *sigh* you understand that when your father notices you showing up to his case in nothing but a dress shirt, he will most likely be even more frustrated than if you'd simply snuck out as Robin?

Damian, shrugging: well, my siblings always tell me that i should be more rebellious and teen-like, so i suppose he'll just have to blame them.

Damian: *walks past Alfred, headed down towards the staircase*

Alfred: *silently watches him go*

Alfred:

Alfred, softly to himself: i don't think it's my responsibility to do anything about this. i simply work here.

Alfred:

*distant front door swinging open and shut*

Alfred: he said he would abstain from 'heavy' drinking, not drinking in general, didn't he?

Alfred:

Alfred: he'll be fine.

[lena-thinks-too-much]

It is so, so important to me that people understand that Tim didn't figure out the bats because Dick was a "Show off". Like yes, Dick Grayson is the most flamboyant, dramatic ass man you will ever meet.

But the quadruple somersault? There's no way that was because dick was just showing off. Because you're telling me Bruce Wayne, who's so committed to hiding his identity that he literally acts like a completely different person out of the mask in public just to ward suspicion, would miss the fact that Robin regularly uses the flying Grayson's trademark move? There's literally no way.

In the comics we see Tim explain his deductive process to Dick and Alfred and they're both surprised impressed whatever. We don't see him explain it to Bruce. I think Bruce would be surprised and shocked that a 9 year old was able to put the pieces together but I don't think he'd be surprised that the quadruple somersault gave it away.

So if Bruce was possibly aware of such an obvious give away, why let it continue?

I'll tell you why.

It really comes down to the physics

So Dick was 9 when he started out right? That means the most he'd have likely weighed was 43kgs or roughly 95lbs in freedom units.

But Dick and both of his parents are gymnasts who tend to be smaller. So he was likely less than that.

In physics, rotating objects build up angular momentum (this is how bikes stay up right for example). The more rotation, the more momentum. And objects with less mass build up that momentum much faster than those that are heavier.

Robin constantly has to fight people who are nearly 3 times his size. I teach 8 year olds, they're tiny. A quadruple somersault for a small boy that weighs less than a hundred pounds is a brutal weapon. Especially if you add in the acceleration from gravity as he drops in from above.

And I can guarantee you this logic tracks because Dick literally utilizes this idea, without the somersault, in the 2009 teen titans cartoon.

Yeah, that's right. We're talking about the infamous knee drop.

Like it is borderline savage. Add in a quadruple somersault and the resulting force is nearly fatal. It's likely the main reason Batman would ever allow him to do it with the cape on.

Also, Dick landing feet first on the penguin in the first image probably gave the guy severe back issues

[papayafromtv]

scenarios Alfred Pennyworth has to be a witness to as a resident of Wayne Manor that the batkids have absolutely no shame in front of whatsoever part 23 (masterpost here)

Steph, wandering into the kitchen: hey, Alfie, B says you're doing a grocery shop later today, can i add tampons to the list of stuff for the patrol supplies?

Alfred, glancing over from polishing silverware: of course, Miss Brown. perhaps you'd like to add it to the list on the fridge?

Steph: hm-? oh, yeah, thanks.

Tim, working on his laptop at the kitchen island: the fuck do you need tampons for patrol?

Steph: *squints at him* well i sure as fuck ain't doing it in a pad? do you know how unsafe i would feel?!

Tim, raising an eyebrow: why do you need anything? doesn't it all stop once you start swinging around?

*silence*

Alfred: *pauses, slowly turns his head to stare into the side of Tim's skull*

Steph, calmly: ...what?

Tim: it's like swimming right? you start jumping around and moving a lot and your body recognises that you don't want to bleed, so it stops the flow until you settle down.

Alfred:

Steph:

Steph, keeping her face impressively straight: ...yes. it is- *throat clear* that is why that happens, you're right, it does usually stop on patrol. but- *thinking intensely* i... got a scratch on my thigh... earlier... and it keeps bleeding, has all day. so i'm kinda worried that blood coming out of my thigh will confuse my body, because of- *bites lip* because of the close proximity. and i think it might decide that since my thigh is bleeding that it should just keep all the other flows going as well, so i'm just- i'm just making sure. to be careful.

Alfred: *slowly turns to stare at Steph instead*

Tim:

Tim: ok i guess that makes sense.

Steph, once Tim turns back to his laptop: *gleefully punches the air*

Tim, eyes narrowing: wait,

Steph, the face of innocence: hm?

Tim: how come your body can stop the period blood but not the thigh blood?

Steph: oh. well, that's just a 'me' issue, really. i've never been that good at the whole blood-bending thing.

Alfred: *closes eyes in resignation*

Tim: blood-bending- what?

Steph: blood-bending? the- you know all girls can control their blood flow, right? that's why Avatar only showed women water-benders learning how to blood-bend. because it was already a thing irl.

Tim:

Tim, dubious: ok now you're fucking with me.

Steph, narrowing eyes in confusion: no? dude, i'm being completely serious, did you- how did you not know about this? that's how we control our periods, man. all females have a slight innate ability to bend their own blood. it's just that the extent to which we can varies from person to person and day to day. i've always been kinda weak with it, so i guess that's my bad. Babs has always been pretty good at it, though.

Dick, walking in: 'sup, kiddies. Babs is good at what?

Steph: i was just telling Tim about how all women can blood-bend and that's how they control their periods. can you believe the health education program at his school failed so badly he didn't know?!?

Dick:

Dick:

Dick, turning to Tim: yeah Babs was always really good at it.

Tim: seriously?!!?

Dick, without a hint of humor: 100%. anyway i gotta go, see you guys later.

Steph, perking up: oh, can i get a ride actually? i need a new jacket.

Dick: sure.

Damian, wandering in as Dick and Steph leave: Pennyworth, Jason is requesting he be alerted when you go to the store so he can accompany you.

Alfred, blinking: ...oh- yes, that sounds lovely, i'll be sure to let him know.

Tim, curiously: hey Dami, did you know that women can blood-bend, and that's how they turn off their periods when they go swimming?

Damian:

Damian, plain: you're a fucking idiot.

[oh-mother-of-darkness]

Hello friends today I would like to talk about Damian (surprise!)

It’s just that I noticed a pattern, and I felt like y’all needed to hear about it: I can think of six different times where Damian went out of his way to give people very thoughtful, very individual gifts.

1) The pearl from Martha Wayne’s necklace (B&R 14), which he found in the sewers after a considerable amount of effort– we see him searching for it in two different issues (B&R 9, 13). Side note: made a rat friend, named it Spotty

2) In the first B&R Annual, Damian literally set up a scavenger hunt for Bruce, resulting in three different gifts. A painting by his mom

3) This photo of Thomas and Martha’s honeymoon, at the exact spot the picture was taken

Keep reading

[bluejues]

tfw you crawl out of your grave and get dunked in a vat of nickelodeon slime by your dad’s situationship

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Bruce knowing he and Dick have a special relationship but not really characterising it as father and son because it has been so long since he had a father figure who was willing to acknowledge it in a positive life. Alfred didn’t acknowledge it at all. He was Bruce’s employee, not his father. Ra’s wanted to fill the boots of Bruce’s father in a way that tainted what it meant to be a father.

And Bruce figures that mentor and apprentice is enough. Mentors protect. They guide. Historically apprentices lived with their mentors too. And that’s what he is for Dick: a mentor.

And then there’s a horrific crime and kids are involved and thankfully Dick is at home with the flu so he doesn’t have to see it. But some cops are talking and one of them says that all he wants to do is go home and hug his kids. And Bruce realises all he wants is to go home and hug Dick, to hold him and know he’s safe. And Bruce realises that Dick is his son in every way that matters.

[plagueislost]

happy birthday tim!