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One Nice Bug Per Day
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Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
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YOU ARE THE REASON
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@gothamconspiracies
About Me
Name: You can just call me Rat
Gender: He/Him (Trans)
Occupation: Can't get into this legally
Location: Gotham City
I've recently moved to Gotham to figure out what is going on here, I will use this blog to post conspiracies and answer questions as well as document my experiences
There is 1 crab in this post
Second time today someone broke into my place 🙃. Only in Gotham @goth-in-gothamite Nolu if you and the Wayne adoptee bait are so bored the library is open. I'm busy.
If you're gonna stick around I'm gonna put you two to work
This is homophobic, but I’ll help anyway because I am so fucking bored??? Damian isn’t responding to my spam texts >:(((
You break into a gay boy's fashion studio and call me homophobic for not being happy about it? Pfft.
Thanks for the help
As a bisexual demigirlie i will eat your socks. And steal all your sewing needles.
If you two keep arguing I’m going to go raid the fridge. No more coffee for you. No more bread or cheese. I’mma make the fanciest soccer mom bread plate from your fridge. That is a threat.
…that or calling Damian or not ignoring Victors texts but I’m sure it’s fineeee-
Back at it again and wow living in Gotham sucks
Anyway: sorry I've been inactive, been dealing with the insanity that is my job and Gotham. My apologies will be coming back with more theories and Gotham daily life soon
On the bright side, no one has attempted to directly kill me yet, so there's that
okay, i've seen this one post going around my dash a few times, and at this point i feel a need to say something about it:
vampires drinking from blood banks is NOT more ethical than drinking from live donors! in fact, it's worse!
most adult humans walking around on the street have a pint or two of blood they can spare with no real consequences for their health. (again, this is not true of everyone, so make sure you ask your donors about any health conditions before you get into it, but you were doing that already, right?)
but the blood in blood banks. the blood in blood banks is for people who need that blood in transfusion form to survive. blood shortages are real, and they kill. if you steal from a blood bank, someone could die for your theft.
the only reason that bagged blood is considered the "softer" option is because you don't have to look the people you're harming in the eyes to do it. coward.
@ratsetflummi
Okay, so here’s what you do, if you’re a vampire and you want to get your blood from a blood bank and not from live prey.
You get a job as a night shift lab tech in the blood bank. Find the right size hospital- big enough to have a lot of product moving through, but small enough that you can be in the blood bank alone while someone else is on break. Maybe like, 700 beds and a hopping trauma department.
Sometimes, blood is going to get thrown out. It’s going to expire, since it only lasts 42 days on the shelf, and this happens more commonly with rare blood types like B and AB that can’t easily be used for other patients. Or, it’s going to get returned from the floor and has to be discarded because the blood bag was entered and not used, or because it got too warm to put safely back in the fridge and give to someone else. This is inevitable, and discarded blood products aren’t going to be used for someone who needs a transfusion.
You know who’s keeping track of where a blood bag is once it’s been discarded in the computer system? Fucking no one. You pull that sucker out of the bio-hazard trash and stuff it in your coat.
Bonus, you can also snag all the little snack-sized lavender-top tubes of Type and Screen samples because you’re also responsible for throwing those out at midnight.
The grip he had on that leaf... he wanted to go up
This video reads like a Calvin and Hobbs comic
AITA for not telling my brother that I lost my spleen?
Okay, so I don't think I'm wrong here, but he's been really upset (not mad, but he gives me these really sad looks that make me want to apologize over and over again).
Background:
I (m17) lost my father a year ago. My brother (N, m24) focused on my new little brother (R, m11, we just found out about him, mom not in the picture) because he thought I would handle myself. R and I didn't get along initially because we were jealous of each other and he took every opportunity to antagonize me. N took away something very important to me and gave it to R without telling me, and I found out when I walked in on R gloating. N's defense was that he knew I wouldn't take it well so he planned to tell me later, and that R needed it more. We argued and both said some things we wish we could take back.
(I don't blame him for any of this anymore, it was a very hard time for all of us and he was thrust into our father's shoes while grieving. We've talked, and I know he did what he thought was best for me and R, because he believed placing me as an equal to him would show that he trusted me. But he apologized for not understanding how much taking it away would hurt me and that I still wanted to be a kid, not an adult, and I apologized for not being more understanding of his position. We've moved on and are working on our relationship.)
Anyway, the main conflict was that I believed our father was still alive and nobody else did. My other older brother (RH, m21) was the exception, but he's estranged and didn't want to get involved.
(Side note: my siblings except for R are all adopted by our father, but I got emancipated after his supposed death)
N said I was going crazy due to grief and insinuated that I should be locked up in Arkham (an asylum in my city for the criminally insane). I chose to leave to find proof that my father was alive.
Fast forward six months and I found proof, but in the midst of it, I had to have an emergency splenectomy. When I came back and gave them proof to bring my father back, relationships were still strained so I didn't tell anyone. We reconciled in time, but I still didn't see the need to tell them as it wasn't important to them.
The issue:
A week ago, R caught a nasty flu. N wanted me to give him his medicine, I declined. N, frustrated because he thought I was just being difficult, told me to just be nice to R when he’s sick and that it won't cost me anything. I snapped back that it may cost me my life, not that he would care.
Something in N's expression shattered, and he let out a little, "what?" I remembered too late that I didn't tell him I lost my spleen. I tried to backtrack, but he kept pushing until I finally admitted I lost my spleen and under what circumstances. He was devastated, and I felt really bad for not telling him because he looked like he was on the verge of tears (he's really emotional, and that year took a toll on us and is still a sensitive topic). N asked whether it's because I didn't trust him, and I said I didn't know.
Ever since then, N has been hovering over me and bugging me about my health and diet and sleeping and working habits. He told the rest of the family and they've been overbearing as well.
N, however, still feels very guilty about the whole situation. I feel bad for making him upset, but I still stand by the fact that I did nothing wrong by not telling him. I think it was just unfortunate circumstances and that neither of us are to blame. R vehemently says that I'm the AH for never saying anything because my family and I engage in an activity that gets us injured frequently. He said I endangered myself and others by not telling them (he's worried about me and that's how he shows it, and probably also feels responsible about how I lost my spleen because his maternal grandfather was involved and he's got trauma surrounding him)
So, AITA?
Sounds spretty heavy man, but I'm guessing you're nta I mean, it's a complicated situation. Ontjink you weremall graivong and ot was hard on all of you.
No one is entitled to know anything about your medical history, and I'd suggest talking to them and maybe explaining your feelings and thoughts.
Bruce Wayne Pleads City Yet Again To Stop Gerrymandering: “This might be what drives me to buy myself a fucking politician like everyone else in my social class,” says the philanthropist.
Bruce Wayne Says Luthor, Queen, Gates Could Stop Pandemic If They Took Action, Challenges Them To “Meet Me In The Pit”.
"If we fight with bo staff, I can defeat them in single combat while still maintaining social distancing,“ says Wayne, apparently not joking.
When asked if he thought Wayne was serious, son Jason Todd, 24, said, “Timbo’s the best with a bo staff, but Dad can and will bet up Lex Luthor. I’d be willing to open a betting pool. All the proceeds would go to pandemic relief in the Narrows.”
Mayor Says Red Hood Is Considered Essential, Not His Employees
“It wasn’t like I was gonna have them out there in this shit anyways,” says the druglord. “If anyone does, it’s Penguin or Mask. I’ve emptied out all my warehouses, and they’re open as shelters. Fuck the government.” When asked his opinion on the mayor declaring him essential as part of Batman’s team, Red Hood laughed.
Poison Ivy, Harley Quinn Beg Nightwing To Wear Actual Mask
“It’s like he doesn’t remember that time I almost died of a bioweapon,” agrees Red Robin.
Scarecrow Gives Up Fear Toxin, Saying 2020 Alone Is Enough For Him To Continue His Studies
CDC Warns Joker Safe Gas Masks Filter Gas Particulates, Not Viruses. Bruce Wayne Asks For 2 Weeks
ghostlight gravekeep ghoulboss
This poor man is super accident prone!
So I was gonna write a whole ass proper conspiracy theory with title and everything but my laptop is broken!!!!!!!!!
So instead I would like to inform you that Rrd Hoodnis a Mom to all his goons, henchmen, and other such thugs
More Batverse Memes
Hi Hello I have more in universe Batman/DC memes.
Met Red Hood tonight. He apparently finds my blog hilarious and "one of my guys showed me, he was all excited and says tou should update more"
Thanks random Red Hodo Goon I will try maybe I'll do one of your boss next???
Met Brucie Wayne at an ice cream parlor the other day where he was trying to get a long list of orders for his kids. He saw my girl scout troop come in and just told the poor cashier to add our order to his bill. He also argued with Emily about how she was objectively wrong for getting Pistachio for like ten minutes before upgrading her order to the largest size.
While the poor workers were busy making thirty orders he sat with us and talked about his own adventures, and despite claiming that he never went camping before he somehow did a better job of explaining knot tying and triage than our scout leaders did. He also took a billion selfies with us, but insisted on using filters for all of them. Bridget tried to explain GORP to him, and he was so confused at the concept, he looked like a puppy. "So it's Good Old Raisins and Peanuts, but you don't use Peanuts anymore because of allergies? Why is it still GORP? Can you add swedish fish? You shouldn't, swedish fish suck."
When everyone's orders were finally done he took our a stack of hundred-dollar bills and put it in the tip jar, before carrying over a dozen ice cream cups and cones to his car without spilling any of them.
I don't know what's wrong with him but I hope he never changes.
Brucie Wayne living his best himbo life and occasionally displaying hyper competence at the most random moments is everything. Bless Gotham’s little sunshine child. He’s probably the most well adjusted gothamite here.
I've only lived in this city a short time and I have no clue how he's so nice????? It's Wild
I have a friend who works at WE and apparently he goes around to all the floors and checks up on everyone. He legit personally fired their old manager for purposefully migebdering them and other non-cis workers
Sorry I haven't been active as I thought man Gotham is Weird and there wa sso much to explore.
However Harley is surprisingly nice and pat me on the head and I ran into Bruce Wayne and he called me champ
I’m so fucking sick of it
Bruce Wayne IS NOT BATMAN!!! Leave the damn man alone! No offense but Bruce Wayne is a fucking idiot
Have any of your seen a single interview with him? The man legitimately didn’t believe narwhals existed
Cut of said interview:
Bruce Wayne: so the sea unicorns are real?!
Honestly Bruce Wayne is THE definition of himbo,I don’t know why ya’ll keep insisting that he’s the bat.
Ok, but remember when the Riddler crashed a Wayne Gala. Bruce decked the first goon to get with 10 feet of his kids.
He’s just a really good parent. If you had your gang of children at a heist you too would drop anyone who approaches them
Look the baseline for Gotham himbo is different from everywhere else. You wouldn’t understand, you’re probably from Metropolis or smth.
As a parent, I second @frostbittenbucky That is simply instinct. I ill personally fight the joker if he threatened my kids. He may win, but he would not come out unscathed. Bruce Wayne is just a mother hen doing his best
I’ve seen Bruce Wayne stutter when trying to buy hot dogs from a vendor on main street outside his office, anyone who says him and the bat are the same has to be on something.
but the butts are the same
Are you seriously going on the fact that their butts are the same? That’s creepy af! Now you’re sexualising both of them >:(
Thank you!!!111!1!!!! Disgusting 😤
Honestly the theory of Bruce Wayne being Batman it’s simply ridiculous, the guy is well intended trying to give jobs to people but he can’t be Batman, he doesn’t know the difference between buying a Netflix subscription or buying Netflix
Are we honestly thinking the guy that locked his keys in his cars 4x last year, that we know of, is batman? This man cannot even remember how to spell AAA for roadside service, he definitely is NOT batman.
Are we saying that the guy who started crying when he got lost in the supermarket after they remodeled and he was separated from his youngest child is batman??? Really?? Didn’t Damian end up making an announcement to try and find his dad??
He did! It’s on YouTube
Damian: “Bruce Wayne, please make your way to register 6. Bruce Wayne, this is your son. I know you’re scared but I’m here”
Please, I know everyone’s seen the video of Bruce Wayne being chased around by that goose in the park. Where he ends up face planting in a mud puddle and his children have to drive the goose away from him? And you’re saying that man fights some dude named the Penguin regularly? smh
You’re saying that the man who regularly leaves galas, because, and I quote, there were to many people, is the batman
Bruce Wayne: [invites 2,000 people to a gala]
People: [shows up]
Bruce Wayne:
I recently moved to Githam and Can CO firm there is no way Bruce is Batman. He's just so.. soft? And kind?
He also called me champ once and that felt nice
Peter: Sooo... do you think Johnny likes me?
Miles: He would die for you.
Wade: He makes heart eyes at you all the time.
Felicia: He literally left you his family when he was in the Negative Zone.
Matt: You’re literally married.
Peter: Sure,
Peter: But does he like me?
Why do I feel liek Miles is the snarkiest/sissies out of all of these?
