i haven't had emotions since the accident

jennifer / 23 / UK   hi i'm that long haired stranger you see sniffing the bananas in whole foods 

[witdiseased]

Executive dysfunction is basically going “Okay one two three go. And now. Aaaaaaannnnnnnd we’re goinnnnng now.” for like three hours before the thing happens

[lordkevington-deactivated-deact]

If the thing happens at all … 😥

[screenwriter]

me adding 8 cloves of garlic instead of the 2 required for the recipe

[dailyhatsune]

so seth uploaded a new video about tiktoks and this clip was there and then this happened

original post on twitter: https://twitter.com/SethEverman/status/1139973578789662720

[ladysaytenn]

Visit Original Link

(x)

[anxietyproblem]

[annabellehectorworldofweird]

[xwiredearbuds2014x]

[trashboat]

customer: can you check in the back?

me: madam there are HORSES in there

[thehighpriestofreverseracism]

[wallisninety-six]

Today’s Sunday.

[sixshotstothedome-deactivated20]

you have to rb this on a sunday every time u see this on ur dash

[catsi]

salt & vinegar chips are snacks for fucking masochists. literally the entire flavour of the goddamn chip is “acetic acid, which will hurt your tongue, and then just salt on top of that to hurt it worse”. it’s brutal. this chip is designed to hurt you

[maxknightley]

yeah and it kicks ass

[dankmemesreasonforliving]

[eilooxara]

Do you ever get bored on the internet and then grab your phone to see what the other, smaller internet is up to?

[yieldsfalsehoodwhenquined]

human: ha ha ha, silly cat, that door leads to the same outside as the door you just came in

human: *this post*

[spiralstaircased]

dude why can’t parents just act like they’re human and have a soul

[spiralstaircased]

picture of all parents

[pymdrake]

Philip Larkin - This Be The Verse (1971)

[notoriousmasc]

creepypasta titles r like: “my ass got slapped in the forest… there was no one there” “i ate a handful of sand in the 4th grade, and i’ll never do it again” “my dad went to a casino”

[notoriousmasc]

okay

[pissvortex]

would anyone like some chease

just a liddle pece of chease

[dat-soldier]

[cryingdancer]

[kristina100000]

no one:

people born in the 90s: i have to play the sims or i will actually die