The Clitoris

Official mosquito hate blog

[cyberratz]

me when i find out something will cost a pretty penny but i only have gross and ugly pennies left

[threedollarsdotcom]

hey its me your doctor. idgaf

[elierlick]

An all-transmasc Ironman trio just won 3rd place in a major men's triathlon, beating over 200 other men's teams. 🏊‍♂️🏃‍🚴‍♂️ Trans men win men's competitions all the time, but nobody pays attention because it doesn't fit the mainstream narrative. I think we should celebrate their victories, too! 🏆

[centaurself]

in celebration of april 13, i present all four known photos of neil, who banged out the tunes 19 years ago today

source: theagilerat.com (click right to see all four photos!)

[starberry-cupcake]

[sealsdaily]

Today's Seal Is: The Fujoshi

[hickeywiththegoodhair]

[targetedknowledge]

[2ndclassparty]

That man craves the sauce, and seeks to desperately get lost in its richness.

[chongoblog]

ITS APRIL 13 YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS

FETCH ME NEIL

[chongoblog]

[houndmother]

in what scientists are called “unprecedented” I just did laundry and then folded it and put it all the way on the same day.

[captain-paperclip]

[unconventiononthelawofthesea]

men and women are literally the same but unfortunately everyone's crazy so we are forced to pretend they're different in some ways.

[daftpatience]

this is what i wanted to make! feel free 2 use this for whatever i love you

[uristmcdorf]

what is that thing holding the pup's arms that looks like it'd give such instant relief

[daftpatience]

it is called an armbie and it is amazing!!

if your elbows and shoulders tend to feel strained/sublux a lot and u have a hard time getting comfortable laying and/or upright it really holds them together. super awesome. i really like wearing it at my desk!!

[loveisinthebat]

perfectly smooth

[wackom]

Bothering the beast

[byjove]

I know a lot about horses but I simultaneously don’t know shit about horses. Someone will be like “This is my ultra expensive horse that won awards at multiple shows.” and I’ll look at the horse and be like ‘Damn, that is an ugly fucking horse. I have seen prettier horses at slaughter auctions.’

[prmmytmbl-blog]

What a great time to share El Rey Magnum, the worst most expensive horse ever with the world

[byjove]

His head looks like it hurts. I know Arabian horses are one of the oldest and most culturally significant horse breeds but Jesus, this cannot be what they’re supposed to look like…

[estrogenesis-eeveeangelion]

*my cum is worth millions of dollars per oz voice* whatte the sneefe? i'm snorfinge heree 🐎

[marzipanandminutiae]

reading the notes is WILD. I have learned that

A. no this is not what Arabians are supposed to look like

B. apparently the breeder got in trouble for possibly doing cosmetic horse surgery on this horse's ancestor???

[c3rvida3]

I am so, so sure that my cousin meant to type something else, but I'm going to cry. Welcome to my bathroom themed bathroom... Pictures of other people's bathrooms on the walls... Little bathtub figurines on the sink... Soap dispenser shaped like a toilet... Life could be a dream... in my bathroom themed bathroom...

[staff]

for april fools we’re deleting this entire site sayonara you weeaboo shits

[thelawfulchaotic]

I’m gonna list some stupid ass drug possession cases I’ve done just to let you guys know where your tax dollars are going.

- Guy in a van that’s not his. Van has a locked safe in the back and the guy doesn’t have the key. Officer breaks the safe open and finds drugs. Officer neglects to note whose car it was when he ran it or write down anything the guy says about whose car it is. Prosecutor persisted in the felony charge all the way to higher court. Got a “not guilty” on that one.

- Girl in a car that’s not hers. Car is pulled over, she rummages around to find registration. In the process, she moves a bag. Officer decides this is her bag, searches it, finds a baggie corner with drug residue. At trial, officer cannot remember what type of bag it was (men’s? Women’s? Backpack? Purse?) or what else was in it. Again, no offer from the prosecutor to reduce it. Not guilty.

- Guy who got pulled over for speeding. Police found pill bottle in the car with the label gone. Guy belatedly remembers that time that he got his wisdom teeth out and spilled water on the pill bottle. Ironically, he only took like two of the painkillers because he didn’t really need them and they proceeded to end up in his car somehow and rot. Dismissed at preliminary hearing.

- Vicodin found in woman’s car. “That’s my mom’s Vicodin,” she says to police. Her mom is not there. Because she knew it was there and had dominion and control over it, she is legally guilty of possession. Guilty plea; 100 hours community service and completely unnecessary drug treatment class that is mandatory.

- Alleged sale of Adderall. Police do a “controlled buy.” They fail to photograph the money or record the amount. They fail to search their buyer before the transaction. They record the license plate of the selling vehicle as being from two different states. They do not photograph the pills. They do not even count the pills, apparently, or they just steal drugs: lab certificate says “30 pills sent to lab” and the next line reads “28 pills received by lab.” And then the alleged audio of this was lost in a “computer error.” Prosecutor dropped the case from sheer humiliation.

- Too many cases to count where drugs are just out in plain sight and everyone is charged with constructive possession.

- Too many cases to count where police meticulously search a trash filled car to come up with an empty fragment of a straw or corner of a baggie with residue because in our state that counts as real possession.

Everyone go congratulate police officers on being local heroes and keeping us safe from the deadly specter of drugs!!

[rohirric-hunter]

Another thing about light pollution and adjacent things is. They threatened my area with rolling blackouts last winter. Now this was of course largely because the AI datacenters are hogging all the electricity, but in the notifications about it they always specified that that residential areas would be the blacked out areas. Not offices. Not businesses. If you're at home and freezing, well, you can just go loiter in a McDonald's I guess. Never mind that this is extremely difficult for disabled people and often not allowed for pets.

Well, as winter turned into spring, I started biking home from work. A long, circuitous route that took me through residential areas, and past offices and businesses. Offices and businesses that were closed for the day. And yet their signs were still lit up. The lights were still on inside. There were TVs playing in empty breakrooms. All the computers in the school district offices stayed on, their monitors not even going to sleep, all night. Paused to take a break in an empty strip mall once and when I leaned against the glass of a restaurant I could hear the music still playing inside.

Like. There's something deeply rotten about the priorities here. These places that are so flagrantly wasting electricity will never be subject to the rolling blackouts that could freeze you out of your home. Not even at night, when no one is there, when they don't need their lights on. Their waste is prioritized over normal people's life.