🧡🤍🩷

i don’t know what i’m doing • 24 • she/they • kitsy kit

[emmikay]

[bellpipers]

A 3 Troy Harris Comic: Why does this brooding hockey player keep giving me coffee? Inspired by Role Model by Rachel Reid

Had lots of fun drawing and colouring these hockey boys! Troy and Harris mean a lot to me so it was great to create this comic in their honour! Please look at the backgrounds, I spent like 3 hockey seasons on it.

[thisisnotafandomblog-except]

Prematurely graying Troy send tweet

[deja-b00]

somehow it comes up that troy had a crush on shane and was going to ask for his number. and after troy gets ribbed by his teammates and ilya makes a big scene, shane is like, “well i never would’ve gone out with you lol.”

and troy smiles, “right, because you were with roz the whole time.”

“i mean, yes, but also because you and dallas kent spent years calling me and jj ‘rush hour’ and asking hayden if his wife was his beard to cover up his big gay relationship with me.”

the rest of the centaurs blink. harris puts his head in his hands and groans.

and troy’s like, “oh. right. sorry about that :/“

[mayjuvac]

some amazing additions from the tags

[cunning-and-cool]

[thisisnotafandomblog-except]

Troy “scary high pain tolerance because Curtis used to make him play with minor and not so minor injuries” Barrett send tweet

[thisisnotafandomblog-except]

Troy has a feelings chart that he HATES. His therapist recommends it to him, and they have a deal that he’ll try something for a full week before he decides it doesn’t work. So now there’s a feelings chart on the refrigerator for the next week. It’s not the type that’s super obvious with photos of kids making exaggerated faces. His therapist (fuck I need to give her a name) had him fill in each square with different color squiggles that represent how his body feels when he feels that emotion. Like how Remy sees food in Ratatouille, Troy can tell you how it feels to score a goal, like he’s filled with 1000 stars that are bursting all over. He can tell you how it feels to be around his father, heavy, like he already wants to give up. But if you ask him? He’s “happy” or “annoyed” with a shrug. This man is so out of touch with himself.

Hence the feelings chart.

The idea is that he can put words to the sensations that he feels in order to better communicate. Instead of “shitty”, he can say something more accurate. Empty, lonely, exhausted, all the things that “shitty” can possible describe. Troy gets the idea of it, but he cannot get over his pride that he shouldn’t need it. He’s an adult. There’s nothing more infantilizing than having your partner say, “can you show me how you’re feeling?” like you’re a fucking toddler.

It comes in handy when something happens and he can’t explain what he needs because he can’t figure out what the fuck he’s feeling and what is actually wrong. He storms into the kitchen and snatches the feelings chart that he hates so much and his hands shake as he looks over his old scribbles until he finds the one that looks right and he’s scared? Why the fuck is he scared? What does he have to be scared about? (Something seemingly unrelated to anything triggered you babe) but it gives him a direction, lets him figure out that happened.

He still hates the stupid chart. He will not acknowledge that it’s been hanging on his refrigerator for months.

[troy-barrett-love]

I like to imagine Troy grew up watching a lot of murder mysteries and crime dramas (combination of loneliness and needing something to do while his parents argued).

He picked up on certain things and researched them more thoroughly, so now he just has a very random collection of crime facts.

Which comes in handy when Ilya makes vague threats, that Troy can then support with facts.

Like:

Ilya to a player that just called Shane a slur: How much of blood do you think you can lose and still be this annoying?

Troy completely nonchalant nodding next to him: An average person can lose about 50% of their total blood volume before death occurs. The exact number of course depends on the size of the person.

The refs can't really do anything to stop them, because they are always just vague enough.

[thisisnotafandomblog-except]

Troy/Harris virginity role play except Troy’s the virgin send tweet

[thisisnotafandomblog-except]

Okay, more thoughts on this:

Troy brings up that his first time was maybe less than ideal. Nothing dangerous or traumatizing, exactly, as long as you ignore how scared he was at being caught. He and Harris are chatting and he brings it up off handedly. That’s when Harris starts to cook.

A few weeks later, after Harris has figured out exactly what he wants to say and how he wants to approach it, they’re basking in the afterglow. Harris asks a bit more about it, and Troy is just blissed out enough that he’s not self conscious.

“It wasn’t bad. It was, I dunno, normal? Awkward, maybe.”

“Would you…be interested in a do-over?”

“Oh? Have you invented time travel without telling me, babe?”

“Ha ha, no, I haven’t. I meant like, pretend. Role play.”

Troy is quiet for a second, then, “Do you want to?”

“I think it would be really fucking hot, honestly.” Troy shrugs.

“Okay, I guess.”

(Okay, I guess is not the enthusiastic response Harris had been hoping for, but it’s enough to work with for now.)

A few more days pass, Troy has completely forgotten about the conversation, and Harris brings it up again. “How would you have wanted your first time to go?”

Troy continues unloading his meal prep containers into the fridge. “What, like rose petals and candles and shit?” Harris rolls his eyes but hops up on the counter.

“I mean, did you? Want rose petals and candles and shit?” Troy looks over at him and realizes that he’s serious. “I’m just curious.”

“What was your first time like?” Troy asks suspiciously.

Harris laughs, big and loud. “It was probably bad, but I just remember having my first real boyfriend and I was completely in love with him. Y’know, normal college freshman shenanigans.”

“I don’t, actually,” Troy points out, just to see Harris huff and roll his eyes.

“Well, most of us weren’t getting drafted at 18, so.” Troy finishes his chore and comes to stand between Harris’s knees.

“I am willing to admit that my life experience is not the normal,” Troy says with a shrug. He leans in and they spend the next few minutes just making out like teenagers. “It would have been nice, I think. To be able to explore that: the boyfriend, thinking the sex is the best thing ever because you don’t know any better.” Harris shoves his shoulder.

“Well, what if I want to…” Harris leans forward and wraps his arms around Troy’s shoulders to pull him close. Troy can feel Harris’s breath on his lips. “Make an evening of it?”

“Of what, role playing that I’m a virgin?”

“We don’t have to, it’s just a thought. I can drop it.” He starts to pull back a bit but Troy follows him.

“Hey, now, let’s not be hasty,” Troy says against Harris’s lips. “Do you wanna make it special for me, babe?”

“Yeah, I kind of really do.”

“Okay. What do you have in mind?”

And they talk about it, over the next few weeks. Harris asks about what Troy wants, and it’s a struggle at times, but they get through it. Once they have the details hammered out, they choose a date where Troy has a rare two days off in a row.

[transthatmasc]

Ilya and Shane are not driving to games together. Ilya has bad bunny blasting and a Carmel macchiato in one hand. Shane is driving with his fifteen minute mindfulness meditation on and an agave sweetened electrolytes drink in the cup holder to be sipped only at stoplights.

They tried Shane’s way once together and Ilya fell asleep in the passenger’s seat still holding his macchiato (Shane had the car professionally cleaned during the game for fear that the seat would be permanently ruined if it waited until the next day). They tried Ilya’s way once and Shane had to pee all through warmups and nearly had a panic attack during the first period. It was deemed a necessity for their job security that they continue to drive separately and offset by 10 minutes so they don’t see each other on the road. (Ilya takes Anya out one more time after Shane leaves and then speeds the whole way there, so they only arrive five minutes apart.) When they are on the road, Shane gets the hotel room after their nap and Ilya hangs with Troy. (Troy doesn’t actually have a routine, he just goes with Ilya’s because it drowns out his other thoughts (that’s why Ilya goes with Ilya’s too))

[oatmealdiva]

troy, homophobically, after watching a joint interview of shane and ilya: they’re probably fucking

troy, homosexually, after ilya comes out to him: they’re probably fucking

[hr-rep]

Troy get off the cross TROYYYY get DOWN nothing is holding you up except your own fractured sense of righteousness give it a RESTT

[penandinkprincess]

cackling about the idea of shane and ilya getting separated on the bench from time to time and the public thinks "oooh, trouble in paradise? the rivalry rearing its head again?? hollander getting fed up with rozanov??"

and the truth is that the team was playing against someone ilya and/or shane ESPECIALLY hates, which means shane was dropping the most vicious, lethal reads known to man and making ilya crack tf up to the point that they were attracting attention and the coach was just afraid of someone reading lips and getting them all in trouble

and signficantly, the three person buffer between them just keeps shane from SAYING his comments

he and ilya are still leaning forward and backward to look at each other and exchange "mhm" "mhm" looks that still make it clear they're still communicating their thoughts perfectly fine

[transthatmasc]

THIS first and foremost

But I feel like this is the point of connection that gets Shane to actually accept Troy as a guy he can vibe with. They make the mistake of putting Troy as one of the guys in between Shane and Ilya only for Shane to keep muttering things and Troy to pick right up where Ilya left off on dragging people. Troy may have been a homophobic menace for a while but not he’s a homosexual menace and Shane can very much so get down with that. Ilya has almost as much fun listening to them banter as joining in.

Shane and Troy are downright catty when it comes to bad hockey and shitty men. “Do you think he’s tried passing to a player instead of empty ice before?” “No, I don’t think he knows how to find someone who will accept a pass from him. If he had, maybe he wouldn’t be harassing women in every major city in North America.”

[troy-barrett-love]

Ilya treats Shane and Troy on the bench together like his personal two man comedy show.

[antisocial-burrito]

Is this not how the end of chapter 13 of role model went?

That’s the scene after the kingfisher where they come out to each other, and then Troy’s like “you and Shane Hollander are close?”

[avantgarden-er]

Harris recognizing the traumatized ex-racing greyhound in the corner of the function but its just Troy Barrett eating off a paper plate

[future-demiurge]

Harris thinks it would be a fun idea to get Shane and Troy, the most social media averse players, to do viral trends and audios. Every single one shows them both in a mild state of confusion and slightly off timing-wise. They’re always the most popular videos on the team accounts

[thehollanovcondo]

I love Troy Barrett and his deep need to leave at the first sign of discomfort. Without fail, he will find a way to escape if given the chance