self absorbed meme queen

[cryptic-prey]

me: *shows my friend a picture of a possum in a hat, expecting delight*

my friend: ew!

me:

[lesbianskunkrat]

show us the possum 

[cryptic-prey]

[hlwim]

ugh how the fuck do you cover letter

[elf-trash]

Greetings, Exalted One. Allow me to introduce myself. I am Luke Skywalker, Jedi Knight and friend to Captain Solo.

I know that you are powerful, mighty Jabba, and that your anger with Solo must be equally powerful. I seek an audience with Your Greatness to bargain for Solo’s life.

With your wisdom, I’m sure that we can work out an arrangement which will be mutually beneficial and enable us to avoid any unpleasant confrontation.

As a token of my goodwill, I present to you a gift: these two droids. Both are hardworking and will serve you well.

[siderealsandman]

Polite greeting (Greetings, Exalted One)

Self-Introduction (I am Luke Skywalker) 

Establish Credentials (Jedi Knight) 

Explain how you learned of this opportunity (Friend to Captain Solo) 

Establish Purpose (I seek an audience with Your Greatness to bargain for Solo’s life.)

Show what you can bring to the organization ( I present to you a gift: these two droids. Both are hardworking and will serve you well.)

[comicgeekscomicgeek]

This actually maps really well.

[arodudejude]

me at four in the afternoon watching a 2hr video essay tearing apart a movie that i’ve never seen

[m0m3nt-4-lyfe]

Venom: We should have left you in that prison cell where you were born.

Carnage:

Based on https://youtu.be/Wf9FYqkyfIw

[quietstorm-thundathighs]

facts

[unaenanasinamor]

ahhh honey, people lie about being sick

[quietstorm-thundathighs]

Oh illiterate honey that isn’t the topic of discussion

[antique-scarecrow]

always be suspicious when someone tries to derail a conversation by talking about people taking ‘advantage’ of a social safety net. brings this to mind:

[meloetta]

i still can’t believe renaissance fairs are real

[meloetta]

it’s like anime expo for fans of the black plague

[zoby]

have you ever actually been to one or are you just basing this on that episode of family guy

[meloetta]

the implication that i’ve ever seen an episode of family guy in my life is worse than all the medieval insults that have been thrown at me so far

[burritoseal]

Plump seal

[cosed]

one day i will. then you’ll see. you will all fucking see

[cosed]

this is the funniest reply everyone else go home

[schell199826]

Wаnnа liск Santa pussy? Cliск 0n tехt!

[cosed]

real shit?

[snoopingasusualisee]

[snoopingasusualisee]

Merry Christmas Eve everyone

[theoldness]

bitch…omg

[spock-ho-deactivated20170609]

omfg

[elpiso]

slam me in that Showert Deluxe… get me an omniwash™

[tiqerboy-archive-blog]

this is a carwash for people

[8bitnatsuki-deactivated20200525]

I hear if you turn them all on at once you can use the water pressure to glitch past the boss room

[hollisofficial]

[ocfos]

You fucker

[westcountryadventure]

I can’t see him but I just feel his energy

[the-dwemereths-numidium]

I can feel the aura and I know exactly who it is you ass

[finding-luciano]

[readableporn]

This is 1000x more terrifying than any dream I will ever encounter.

[nerdjpg]

[mioxenoblade]

ur telling me the government can easily allocate billions of dollars to kill villages of people overseas but paying for its own citizens to have needed surgeries and medications is too much? Get the fuck out of here.

[radfemrefblog]

are you telling me that if the government decided to start spending the money to help its own citizens afford medical care it’s first priority should be people who wanna take synthetic hormones cos they think it’ll fix their mental health problems instead of like, people who are dying because they can’t afford chemotherapy? get the fuck outta here

[mioxenoblade]

I literally never specified trans specific stuff and was specifically implying, ya know, everything and everyone. Maybe you’re a tad obsessed?

And yeah, I think trans healthcare should be covered, just like how I think the surgery to pull your head out of your ass should be covered.

[radfemrefblog]

the original post specified “hormones” but nice one trying to spin it like i’m a crazy person pulling shit out of thin air

[mioxenoblade]

It literally doesn’t say hormones. It literally doesn’t. At all. Scroll up, you can literally see it that it doesn’t. I get it, you’re obsessed. Just fucking move on, Westboro.

[princepuma]

[catchymemes]

David Schwimmer films himself in a New York supermarket with his arms full in spoof video after police issued plea for his lookalike in the UK

[renthebarbarian]

Okay…Ross Geller might have The Worst™, but David Schwimmer is a fucking treasure.

[lostinwonderland317]

[gaily-daily]

Eddie didn’t even KNOW Anne was bonded with Venom he just straight up saw his alien bf coming at him with tits and thought ‘alright I guess’

[cheaphalloweencostume]

me after watching Matilda as a child and waiting and waiting for my own Miss Honey to notice i was miserable and come save me and be proud of me and then realizing that doesnt happen and also that i cant move stuff with my mind i can just read books really well & be mentally ill

[jehovahhthickness]

[spray00eight]

💯

[geniusoflove]

r/lifehacks is like watching grown babies navigate the world and discover things for the first time and then getting entirely dunked on in the comments

[geniusoflove]

[anditssunday-deactivated2018072]

uhhhhh fellas? we got an imposter?🤔😕😡

[skelebroreturns-blog]

This is his evil counterpart. Look at all the dead grass behind him. He’s a tall spooky boy, instead of a little perky lad. He brings death and disease.

[akumeoy]

he’s gonna do it to us

[borgullet]

He does it because he wants to, not because he has to