sock

[leclecarchie]

[headspace-hotel]

This is yet another consequence of ✨shitty writing advice✨ that's like "if it doesn't advance the plot cut it out!"

Hey. Have you considered. That scenes with character development. *Are* advancing the plot

[natalieironside]

I think we should write unnecessary sequels to public-domain classics.

I wanna read Dracula 2: Sherlock Holmes and the Curse of Dracula's Ghost. I wanna read Pride and Prejudice 2: Elizabeth Has a Gun.

[corporate-account]

This is literally Pride and Prejudice and Zombies

[natalieironside]

No, it's not. P&P&Z is a re-imagining of the original plot, not a sequel. I want to give Elizabeth a gun after the events of the first novel are concluded.

[elmyra-is-tired]

who would Elizabeth have beef enough to kill over with?

[natalieironside]

Idk, I haven't actually read P&P since school and I honestly don't remember it all that well, but that's the magic of writing unnecessary sequels to public-domain works. It could be whoever we want it to be.

[thebibliosphere]

George Wickham.

Lydia comes to Pemberley for a visit, sans her husband because Darcy will not let that man set foot in their house after what he did to Georgiana. And she's just as bubbly as usual, just as chatty. Until Darcy makes his excuses and leaves the two sisters sitting in front of the fire, and after a slight pause Lydia informs Lizzy that she can't imagine how she manages to stay happy with a man so serious and grim as Darcy.

Lizzy, who knows her husband well enough by now, and that he was, in fact, smiling for most of dinner, tells her that they are well suited for each other and she is light enough for both of them.

After another pause, Lydia turns dark serious eyes to her eldest sister and asks in a tremulous, "Is he cruel to you too?"

Because we know George Wickham. We know what he is. He's the man who tried to seduce a fifteen year old girl (Georgiana) for her fortune. He's the man who ran off with Lydia Bennet, then also fifteen and the youngest of five sisters, knowing her family would be forced to give him her dowry and pay for them to marry her or else she'd be ruined. All the sisters would. And Lizzy knew, she knew the man was a rake and a cad. She'd even seen the way he yanked her arm in the carriage that first time they came home after their elopement. But somehow she'd still hoped that he'd try to make her happy. That hope is dead now.

Though not as dead as Wickham's about to be.

It would be quite easy, she thinks, to make it look like a hunting accident. But then she wouldn't get to see the fear in Wickham's eyes. She wants him to know, you see. She wants to watch the charm and bravado drain from his face as he hears the pistol cock and realizes his final fatal error. Because while it might be a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife, there is yet another greater universal truth he failed to recognize.

Don't fuck with the Bennet sisters; they will end you.

Pride and Prejudice Two: Elizabeth Has A Gun.

[natalieironside]

Joy, how does it feel to be the most brilliant creative on this webbed sight

[micro-usb-deactivated20230625]

[spaghettioverdose-deactivated20]

As a trans woman I can confirm that they indeed found an ancient forest inside a 630ft deep sinkhole in China

[homunculus-argument]

A sleight-of-hand magician routine that's also a stand-up comedy set about ADHD. Like I'm just there complaining about how I always lose or forget stuff, I change subject as I lose your track of thought, then suddenly remember that I was holding a fan in my hand and -

Where the FUCK did it go??

I ask the audience if they saw where it went. Not in my sleeve, there's just a handkerchief there. Nothing in my pockets. FUck, I don't even have any pockets. No, wait, was it in the - [a dove emerges from an improbable place] aw fuck I forgot to return that to the vet.

Now distracted by tugging a comical length of handkerchiefs out of my sleeve, I'll start telling the story of why, exactly, I was borrowing a pigeon from a vet in the first place. The story, which is lengthy, still doesn't go on as long as the string of handkerchiefs.

[pyromaniac-fairy-of-water]

I'd pay to see this

[crplpunkklavier]

i think about this one so fucking often i had to clip it

[guooey]

This is so important to me..

[skittybot]

[gaynejis]

rock lee vs gaara but…. more

[deefews]

[not-quite-normal]

So Katy and Carororo let me in on their animated Sherlock handcuff shenanigans!

Poor John did not think this through.

[nudityandnerdery]

Uh-oh.

[evilhelldog666]

bout to go so feral over that alien build a bear idgaf i need it so bad

[evilhelldog666]

bruh lmfao

[lelouch]

AI art from the prompt: Teddy Bears working on new AI research underwater with 1990s technology

[mrmaggio]

Not to be that guy again but this is one of my favorite images on the planet and I cannot for the life of me remember where it's from. Reverse image search is fruitless. It's giving me Homestuck epilogues or maybe 17776?? Any confirmation would make my day <3

[turing-tested]

HI I MADE THIS OMG hello!! this came up on my dash bc I follow the 17776 tag but this is so incredibly funny, i literally stared at this for like 5 minutes trying to remember why it was so familiar and it turns out it's bc I made it.

anyways this is for stairsweek, an annual event on my blog where I reblog a picture of stairs every thirty minutes, 24 hours a day, for 7 days straight

[firefox-official]

i have this writing style i like to call “uncertain.” it’s where the narrator isn’t really sure what they’re talking about either

[dkpsyhog]

That is so powerful and I want to write a short story in this style now thank you

[firefox-official]

“the park had been there for as long as i’d lived there, i think. i couldn’t be sure. i was never one to go to the park anyway” nobody has any clue what’s going on

[nonlinear-nonsubjective]

self aware unreliable narrator

[minotauri]

Humans pretend to be good in small ways for social clout but underneath where it counts, very definitely all selfish and bad.

[perennial-lee]

Anti-revenge narrative this, anti-revenge narrative that, I personally think that Inigo Montoya had the right idea when he stabbed Count Rugen in the gut and said "I want my father back, you son of a bitch"

[galwednesday]

A lot of revenge arcs end with the hero saying "there's nothing you can do to bring my loved one back, so me seeking revenge is pointless." The Princess Bride's revenge arc ends with Inigo Montoya saying "there's nothing you can do to bring my loved one back, so there's nothing that can save you."

[lesbian-toddhoward]

if tumblr had a verification symbol like twitter does what would it be

[paty-ofarrell]

[theconcealedweapon]