it’s amazing how women are able to navigate crowded rooms without ever touching a palm to a man’s lower back
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Stranger Things

★

ellievsbear
d e v o n
Claire Keane
Sade Olutola

Love Begins
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

Kiana Khansmith
trying on a metaphor
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
sheepfilms
🩵 avery cochrane 🩵
cherry valley forever
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Xuebing Du

Product Placement
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seen from Nepal
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@grimreaperchic
it’s amazing how women are able to navigate crowded rooms without ever touching a palm to a man’s lower back
it's so crazy too bc i'll be like "this phrase/practice is being touted as ancient knowledge with a secret unbroken lineage, but it was quite literally made up in the 20th century. like we can trace it back to its very inception in like 1961." and someone will be like "that can't be true because my grandmother taught it to me." and i'm like yes your grandmother was 20 in 1961.
I don't do "art studies," i draw "wrong" until I get an epiphany from god
Last year, I befriended a Catholic seminarian. We've gotten to be pretty decent friends. Seeing as he was staying in town for the summer and I wasn't, I entrusted him with caring for my plant.
He did a wonderful job, but as he was returning my plant to my custody, he explained "I watered her every other day, I gave her new dirt, moved her into the sunshine, prayed the rosary-"
"What?"
He looked at me, confused. "Isn't she a plant you pray with?"
"No," I said slowly. "She's a prayer plant. That's the... colloquial name of the plant."
Upon seeing his stricken face, I realized something went wrong. Turns out, this entire time, he's been including my plant in on his prayers and leaving her near icons.
Listen, totally cool. My plant becoming Catholic is a great deal for her not dying over the summer. But now I must navigate this interfaith household. Keep me in your thoughts.
#i love prayer plants but they're fussy so I don't keep them#can we have a picture op they're so pretty
Behold, Dorothea
(Naming my plant "Gift of God," and then giving her to a seminarian with just the explanation that it's a prayer plant? Okay, that's my bad.)
Oh my goodness she is so lovely and full! And she's flowering!! That's a happy maranta indeed
teamwork makes the dream work. and dreamwork. makes shrek
fantastic. i love it. i posted this after my wife said it yesterday and as i was doing it i was like "this can't be an original thought. as soon as i hit post someone's going to say 'you stole this from a tweet from 2014' and i'll say 'no, i stole it from my beautiful wife.'"
I just got a really really good idea for a visual gag that unfortunately only works in an animated artistic medium that uses chowder style static textures for clothes. And now I’m pissed off that I can’t find a series of words to write a description of the gag that would have any chance of working as a joke because it requires too much setup and the punchline wouldn’t be punchy in a text medium. (T ^ T)
[In a Chowder style cartoon world where clothing uses static background textures]
Character A: *Accidentally spills something on her shirt and it leaves a stain*
*Looks around to see if anyone noticed.*
*Takes a few steps to the side, moving along the static background texture causing the stain to ‘slide’ away and not be visible anymore*
[later in the episode, a completely different scene with completely different framing]
Character A: *Walks along with the rest of the cast across the screen into the same spot on the screen where she was when she spilled on her shirt. The stain was on the same spot in the background texture this whole time she just happened to avoid it throughout the episode til now. This causes the stain to ‘slide’ onto her shirt again, but shes further from the ‘camera’ now so the stain covers way more of her shirt.*
Character B: *Points the stain out and laughs at her for managing to get such a huge stain on her clothes*
Character A: *Gets embarrassed and defensive saying it’s the shot composition’s fault*
Character C: *Looks up and scolds the animator for not doing the cast’s laundry between scenes*
Faceless animator from off screen: *Tries to make excuses about not having time and trying to meet the episode deadline*
Character C: *Crosses her arms and turns her head away, says she’s disappointed in them*
Offscreen animator’s giant hand: *Reluctantly grabs the static clothing texture and pulls it away*
Character A: *Her shirt clothing texture is replaced with blank white void. She gets embarrassed and tries to cover herself up as if she was naked*
[Cut to short live action sequence of the disembodied hand of the animator throwing the static texture cloth into the washing machine, adding stain remover and starting the machine.]
[Time passes. Cut to disembodied hand tapping its fingers impatiently right before the washing machine dings complete. The hand throws it in the dryer. Resumes tapping impatiently]
[Time Passes. Cut to disembodied hand seemingly being asleep, then the dryer dings waking them up. Hand takes texture out of the dryer. Starts bringing the texture back to the set.]
Character C, offscreen: *Shouts at the animator demanding they iron it too*
[Cut to disembodied hand frantically ironing the texture.]
[Cut back to animated scene with main cast still at the same scene. Character A is still embarrassed and trying to cover herself up. Character B is asleep and loudly cartoonishly snoring. Character C is looking up at where ‘the animator’ is, impatiently tapping her foot and scowling]
Disembodied Hand: *Frantically tries to put the texture back in place. Accidentally puts it on upside down.*
Character C, scowling: *Raises an eyebrow*
Disembodied hand: *Frantically rearranges the texture and finally gets it in place correctly*
Character C, eyebrow still raised: *Asks if they’re forgetting something*
Disembodied hand, ‘standing’ on the ‘ground’ of the scene with its middle and ring finger posed as legs and its pointer and pinky as arms: *Goes into dogeza pose and desperately apologizes*
Character C: *Accepts apology, but gives a threatening warning not to let it happen again*
Disembodied hand: *’Runs’ offscreen frantically*
[The episode resumes as if nothing happened. This gag is never repeated and is never addressed for the rest of the show’s running]
am i the only one that stayed for The Odyssey after credits scene??? we're just not gonna talk about how Gilgamesh approaches Odysseus and says "I'm putting together a team. I've searched the world far and wide to find a man like you. A man that can help me locate and recruit...BEOWULF."
reading john’s narration in ntn is INSANE bc he’s talking about how he incited a nuclear war and began consuming the souls of planets just to say some shit like “you and i went full fucking hungry caterpillar” excuse me WHAT
Normal groceries like milk or bread or whatever running out is whatever. Just anotha day. But when stuff like salt or cooking oil or rice runs out it feels like You’re supposed to be here for me and you’re leaving. You’re just like everyone else
girl on club dancefloor has her feet cooled by a friend pouring smirnoff ice over them (2000)
Mary Magdalene washing Christ's feet
I love how every time I log on, this site attains new levels of heresy. I can't wait to see what is next.
I do think the ability to emoji-react is a net win for human communication. not only does it give you an outlet for 'I see and acknowledge this but don't have a verbal response' but it also adds a pleasing alethiometer element to things
my coworker announces that he's off to the dentist. someone reacts with a tooth emoji. is this a statement of dentist solidarity? a wish for my coworker to return with more (or fewer?) teeth than he set out with? simple word association? who can say
[girl in a low cut top voice] i just dont know what it is but everyone is being sooo nice to me today….[grows grave and guarded] they’re conspiring against my reign and they think me a fool
My one boring tip to anyone in their 20s is to resist the temptation to rot in your room every time you get a free moment. Dismiss any neuroses you have about going outside and "being perceived". Be a dictator about it, plan your hangouts like they are binding commitments. No excuses! Go to the bar with your friends. Be kinda hungover at work. Socializing is like exercise; even if you don't feel like you want to, you should still do it because it's good for you.
just received the best text message I’ve ever had. from my mom
2 pics. no caption
wedding dresses are white specifically so that if the bride goes axe-crazy you can rest assured you will see the blood stains all over her and it'll be sick as fuck
So many modern day retellings are just straight up hiding the fact that their authors fucking hate the original classic literature books but still need the marketing validation of writing a diverse retelling lol
there are places in the world today that are experiencing 40°C for the first time in recorded history. of course there's no way to know whether chucking billionaires into volcanos will appease the sun god but i feel we're doing the scientific method a disservice if we don't at least try