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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

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@guiltypleasures3721
the rainbow is a well-known symbol of gay pride that originated in the late 1970s in san francisco, when the gay community promised to never again destroy the earth by flood
“my father is a boy and my mother is a girl so i’m mixed” is the funniest possible response to someone asking your gender and it came from 6’5 Viking footballer and notable weird little guy Erling Haaland on a Snapchat
comedians can only dream of writing something this funny
biology of a stapler
some more speculative staplings
work like a red onion
play like a white onion
fuck like a green onion
Hi, my name is James Webbony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Space Telescope and I am a telescope in space (that's how I got my name) and I have a five-layer aluminum-coated Kapton sunshield protecting my instruments and gold-coated hexagonal primary mirror segments like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Lady Gaga (AN: if you don't know who she is, get the hell out of here!). I'm not related to the Hubble Space Telescope, but I wish I was because he's a major fucking hottie. I'm an infrared telescope but I am much larger than Spitzer. I have 18 primary mirror segments. I also study exoplanets, and I go to a telescope school in L2 where I'm in orbit (I was launched in 2021). I can see distant galaxies (in case you couldn't tell) and I wear mostly gold. I love space, and I take all my photos there. For example, today I was taking a photo of the Cartwheel Galaxy, which is about 500 million light years away. I was using my NIRcam, NIRspec, MIRI, and FGS-NIRISS. I was walking outside L2. It was around 1 million miles away from Earth and there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of preps stared at me. I unfolded my primary mirrors at them.
just saw a pigeon doing the puffed up courtship dance thing to another pigeon, and as he was strutting around he suddenly stopped for a split second to do a very brief preen-peck at his own side, then returned to the strutting around. and i surprised myself by instantly losing respect for the male pigeon in that moment, like come on man i appreciate you had an itch or whatever but how is she supposed to feel special when you're getting distracted by bullshit like that? which on reflection i don't endorse, i mean those are pretty harsh dating norms i'm imposing on these pigeons, from a total outsider perspective, for no reason. probably not all girl pigeons are as uptight about that sort of thing as i would apparently be if i was a girl pigeon, maybe she even found it endearing who knows, i don't know her. it's none of my business really. sorry pigeons.
Didn't you retweet incest porn on 9/11?
we all mourn in different ways
Dungeon Mastery
Ladies get off tiktok we need you over on ebird
Funky little American Oystercatcher! In the style of an 80s portrait no less!
Funky little American Oystercatcher! In the style of an 80s portrait no less!
["Think about the last few posts you saw. How did they make you feel? Which ones felt helpful or harmful?"
"Notice how you feel in your mind and body. Can you name an emotion you're feeling?"
"How much longer do you want to scroll? Is there something you set out to do when you picked up your device?"
"Need a break from scrolling? Take a mindful moment with us."]
A silly comic of the ivory billed woodpecker. Playing on the fact that people keep seeing them.
i was seeing all these little blue flowers everywhere and kept thinking "dang what are these bitches, i can't remember..." well guess what. they were fuckin forget-me-nots. can't believe i failed step fucking 1, the hot girls on iNaturalist are going to laugh at me and i'm gonna flunk out of hobby botany school.
!!! Learn From My Humiliation!!! THESE ARE THE BITCHES!!!! DO NOT FORGET THEM !!!!
ID: same image with the text "I forgor." End ID
ID: “You wouldn’t steal a car” meme but blue forget-me-not flowers are on it and the words are replaced with “You wouldn’t (forget) a (me)”
sometimes when you're travelling you will see a beautiful unique bird that captures your attention completely and you will discover that the locals call it the Boring Sparrow and there's 70 000 000 of them and they eat nothing but spicy chicken wings they find in dumpsters.