Tom, are there more than 8 women

steven • he/him • autistic & physically disabled • arospec trans man • white • May 21 '98 • did I mention I'm autistic

[gupdoo3]

i'm on mastodon now https://mastodon.social/@gupdoo3

EDIT: I'm now also on bluesky! https://bsky.app/profile/gupdoo3.bsky.social

[darcyisspidey]

”But why do you need Pride Month?”

I remember my parents and their friends and family always taking opportunities to say homophobic stuff, especially when schools teaching about the LGBTQ was brought up. My parents would make me skip school on IDOHOBIT day and if the school was doing an event for pride month.

But there were days when my class taught about it, and it gave me a jumping point for when I eventually did my own research.

[maxknightley]

"it would be so good if it was good" will haunt you but "it's extremely good, except for the one or two parts which are so bad it's genuinely kind of insulting" will straight up drive you insane

[maxknightley]

one has you making posts like "okay but if the author UNDERSTOOD the POLITICAL IMPLICATIONS of the story they were telling, and leaned into it, it would actually be a really interesting exploration of..."

the other has you pacing your bedroom at one in the morning going "why. why would you ever in a million years do it like that. genuinely what possible thought process was involved. was the writer possessed by a fucking ghost or something."

[catboybiologist]

My apparently wild and radical take is that trans women can literally just dress like women without much "accomodation"

"but what about hiding your-" I guarantee you women's clothes already does that, and you need it less than you think

"but what about adding padding to-" there are women's clothes that do that, also you need it less than you think

"but I don't think women's clothes will accommodate my proportions" I'm guessing that they will, and if you've been in HRT for any noticeable amount of time, they will likely fit better than men's clothes

Like I had my whole "femboy guide" pre transition, but that was a different vibe entirely.

If you want my advice on how to dress now, it would literally just be:

Take what you currently wear

Look at the woman's cut version of it

Size it properly

Wear it the correct way (eg, use the waist that women's clothes are made for)

There's a lot of clothes that's made "specifically for" trans women. Aside from very specific things (like tucking) I think most of it is garbage. Not to mention the absolute horrible ways that they're often marketed, rolling in trans women's everyday clothes with crossdressers and fetish gear.

When a trans woman first transitions, I've found that they're immediately BOMBARDED with "fashion advice" that is A, extremely othering and sometimes dysphoria inducing, and B, oftentimes outright garbage and uses old school crossdressing/drag advice that often fails to account for the effects of HRT, or doesn't come off as a more casual look.

I do think there's value in guides that are more in the zone of "hey, you've only been taught about men's fashion and clothes your whole life, here's the basics of women's fashion to catch you up to speed" but I've yet to find one that doesn't devolve into a weird "hide everything about your body, tran" kind of tone.

Quick preemptive Q&A

Are you saying that trans women CAN'T wear men's clothes and/or be butch?

No, I'm saying that women's clothes DOES fit and accommodate trans women's proportions, but most people refuse to believe that.

So you're a gender conformist then? Just molded to the binary system of fashion?

The last thing society wants a trans woman to be, is a woman. The most radical thing you can be is yourself, and sometimes yourself is a woman.

But what if I don't want to dress in women's clothes?!?

Good for you, then don't

[catboybiologist]

Fuckit, here's my bullet point fashion guide for trans women. This is stuff that applies to ALL women but trans women specifically will not have learned earlier in childhood.

Your waist is high. Higher than that. It's over your belly button. Yes it'll feel high waisted. Yes it'll also feel good. If your hips are getting wider, this is where pants will try to sit naturally anyways, and anything else will be uncomfortable.

On that note, the lack of pockets on women's pants actually does have a functional undertone. Having pockets at the waistline creates a VERY uncomfortable "pivot point" between your stomach and your legs, meaning if you put your keys or phone in pockets of women's pants, they're gonna jab you in the stomach.

THAT SAID, if you DO want pockets, I'm not gonna stop you. But get cargo pants!!! Women's cargo pants look SO nice, and thigh pockets are a godsend. They're more functional and more comfortable with growing hips.

Yes, women's cuts actually do make a fair bit of difference, and yes, you will fit and look more feminine in a women's cut. Even if it's a women's cut of jeans and a t shirt.

"unisex" clothing is oftentimes just men's clothing rebranded. I'm sorry but it's true. A lot of it will drape over you in boxy ways, since the "visual size" of a men's cut is almost entirely defined by the shoulders and upper body. This looks bad if you have wide shoulders or large boobs. It looks REALLY bad if you have wide shoulders AND large boobs, like I do. (Side note, the solution to degendering this should probably be something along the lines of giving the two cuts neutral names, like "shoulder cut" and "waist cut")

Bra sizing is a mystic art. No chart, calculator, or online tool will get you anywhere close to just trying on a variety of them yourself. They're a necessary starting point, but they're not going to get it right. Doesn't have to be an actual fitting, doesn't have to involve another human being, just grab a couple and try them all on. Hell, order them online and return the ones that don't fit if you're too nervous about being seen at all.

Don't make any fashion goal to "hide" anything (apart from tucking tbh, but tucking is less dramatic than a lot of other stuff imo). This isn't even primarily a self confidence point (although that's a great side effect) it's a point that if you spend too much effort or emphasis in "hiding" something, the rest of the fit is going to fall away from you or be guided by that in restricting ways. It also might call a lot of unnecessary attention to the exact thing you're trying to hide- and oftentimes, the only reason you wanted to hide it is because you're overly self conscious about something that's falling within normal variation. Choker to hide an Adam's apple? Now you're both calling attention to your neck, and are limited to outfits that work with that choker. Too much stuff over the shoulders to hide them? Now you're limited to things that cover the shoulders, and are also adding more padding or material to them. This point is deprogramming. The fashion choices that trans women are having imposed upon them to look more cis are not only a result of cis bullying, but oftentimes achieve the opposite effect than what people want.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

[nerdygaymormon]

A reminder that sell-buy dates or best-used-by dates are not the same as expiration dates.

I love that a food bank is providing this info as they are experts in stretching food budgets and knowledgable in shelf-stable food items

[etakeh]

So I followed the link to the website and found the longer list.

The website puts a link to the USDA site which links to foodsafety dot gov who really wants you to use the app, but you can bypass it.

Also a link to the Canadian government's advisory on best-before dates.

Both sites have links to pages that get more into food storage.

[ontologicalmoki]

listen I am all for fidget toys. But we need to go harder. Humans were actually not meant to sit through lectures without using their hands. Fight against the robotification of humanity. Do fibercrafts in your office/classroom/church. You do not need to sit there like the impassable ideal man. Do fibercrafts. Start embroidering at work. Listen to the call of the strings.

[weirdkidshere]

My mother religiously knits in her meetings, and has done so for years. My friends and I sometimes crochet in class if we dont need to take notes. Life is beautiful and freedom is a gift - use it!

[gupdoo3]

I would always draw during church sermons and that's a large part of why I'm such a good artist!!

[blindbeta]

Hello. I wish to inquire about details on how to make a fictional large college campus accessible to disabled students. This issue occured to me when I was watching a video on how the X-Mansion in the movies is largely inaccessible, even to the principal, Professor Xavier who is a wheelchair user himself. I have researched a bit on the subject (I know the basics at least, such as making doors large enough for wheelchair users, ramps that aren't too steep, not placing obstacles near corridors, braille sign usage and pictograms, braille labels, clear out gravel on the floor, etc) Do you have any more specific recommendations, perhaps more into white cane usage?

A few ideas:

Braille and large print signs, maybe even tactile print someone who reads print could touch

Good lighting

Lighting under stairs/steps or high contrast steps if they exist at all

Elevators that talk, have tactile buttons rather than touch screen, and Braille labels

Tactile maps of the campus

Detailed maps and explanations of the communal bathroom situation, such as where are the sinks in relation to the stalls, how do the sinks work, where is the soap and how is it dispensed, how and where do you try your hands?

Buttons that open doors, maybe even doors that slide open and shut from the side instead of out or in

Hand rails on the walls similar to ones in hospitals, perhaps with lights under them?

Corners that are slightly rounded so as to avoid getting jabbed

[knighthearts]

happy pride month for it/its users, polyamorous people, xenogenders, non-transitioning trans people, and other "weird" identities. btw

[ayviedoesthings]

Saying this with all the love in my heart, "Trans" is not a magical title that erases all social biases and discriminations you hold in your mind the moment you transition.

You have to actually ACTIVELY unlearn all that shit. You can actually be trans AND hold TERF and racist beliefs, it is in fact very easy.

Read studies and essays, Engage with the works of other minorities, Don't think you're just better by virtue of losing *some* privilege.

[aleprouswitch]

Herbie Hancock trying to figure out how to fix a mixer, c. early 80s.

[babyboodle]

[anastasiaoftheironwood]

[Image description: A photo of musician Herbie Hancock. He is underneath a studio mixing board with one of its components removed, looking up through the empty space.

This is followed by a screenshot of a previous tag which reads herbie hancock emerging from his mixer to shame mankind. End description.]

[draculiza]

köln dom, deutschland

[melancholygirls]

I passed a flower shop next to a tattoo shop and at first I laughed because I thought it was ironic and then i freaked because IMAGINE YOUR OTP IN A FLORIST/TATTOO ARTIST AU

[stillalittlekid]

OMG I COULD TOTALLY IMAGINE THEM LIKE THAT IT WOULD BE SO PERFECT

[christ-with-a-why]

[melancholygirls]

I cannot BELIEVE a post I made when I was 13 is circulating! And also apparently started this trope? I thought somebody had the idea separately and it blew up that way😭

[utopians]

Passed the White Pharaoh on the freeway

[lifeafterpsychiatry]

If you're comfortable accusing anyone of faking disability, you're not a real ally to disabled people

[teaboot]

One time when I was a kid a group of girls and I had to treat another student for hypothermia by ourselves because she had so many invisible health issues that the adults we asked for help didn't believe us. The student in question was actively hallucinating. When I finally ran for help the people I grabbed were slow as shit to respond, casually joking about how "dramatic" the person in question was.

The kid was picked up by an ambulance 30 minutes later.

Now as an adult working in security I get SO MANY folks- upper-middle aged mostly- coming to me to 'rat out' people they think are faking it.

I was once sent into a bathroom because a client demanded that the "fucker won't get out, so go drag them out"- I was NEVER going to do that, so I did a wellness check instead. You know who it was? A person recently released from the hospital after a car accident. They had a hole in their skull and major hearing loss. They couldn't answer the owner because they couldn't HEAR the owner.

Another time about a homeless man who got around town by kicking the ground from his wheelchair. "You know he doesn't actually need that thing, his legs work fine, it's just for pity points"- Oh, so he's not paralyzed, his wheelchair is performative? Funny story Dale, I actually know that guy, he was backed over by a truck and has chronic pain from his shattered pelvis. But sure, let's make him stand up and walk everywhere so nobody feels too bad for him and tries to help him or something.

"She doesn't need that scooter, I've seen her get out of it."

"Look how fat he is, because he just rides around and refuses to get up."

"She doesn't really need that cane- she comes here without it all the time"

Sincerely, truly, from the bottom of my heart- as someone who isn't physically disabled but hears this shit all the time- fuck off

[artemis-the-catgrill]

reposting this so staff will have a harder time trying to make everyone forget it <3

[w0nderland42]

i get that americans love their cultural imperialism, but it really does piss me off that june is “international” pride month just because something happened in the united states.

in aotearoa, june isn’t our pride, it’s theirs. marsha p johnson and sylvia rivera are their historical figures, not ours. the phrase that “you owe your rights to Black trans women” is true there, but here we owe our rights to (mostly) Māori historical figures. i have the freedoms i do because of the legacy of an entirely different set of people operating in an entirely different context at entirely different times.

But because of american cultural imperialism, most queer people in Aotearoa don’t even know our own queer history. Carmen Rupe, Ngahuia Te Awekotuku, the Dorian Society, Gillian Laundon, Georgina Beyer, and the Wolfenden Association are some of our queer history. We should know their names! we should know what they did for us! but because of the power of the american imperial machine, we don’t.

our national pride month should be july, the month that the Homosexual Law Reform Act passed in 1986. our two largest cities hold their pride festivals in february and march, respectively. american queer history has very little (or nothing, depending on who you ask) to do with our queer history. anecdotally, from my own queries, queer youth in aotearoa know more about american queer history than our own.

anyway, happy pride, americans. i’m truly sorry that most of you don’t see the negative impact your nation’s culture has on the rest of the world. and to the rest of the world reading this, try searching for your own country and culture’s queer history, don’t accept the american narratives as your own. we deserve our own histories divorced from the cultural hegemony of the USA.