I’m a newish DM, heres some of the best things I’ve heard so far
These are from across several campaigns and are mostly in character
“Holy tap-dancing-porcupine-licking shit”
“My favorite color is Lesbians”
“I am the Surfboard of Death”
“I feel like a lizard in a microwave”
*Reads “anti-bs” as “anti-b’s”* “Yeah fuck those inverted color bees”
“There’s grass crumbling in my area but nothing is coming out!!”
“I was in a love pentagon with a mosquito, we only got to 10th base”
“What? Are you catching feelings for Satan?”
“What are catholic school girls?”
“It’s a good thing I’m not allergic to boats *whispers* anymore”
“You have been cantaloped”
“Aren’t Pagans bagels too?”
“It’s like Lord of the Rings, theres a spatula”
“Because some people walk on their teeth”
“Screw my future, the denim checklist is where it’s at”
“Who needs friends when you have Geese?”
“This is a Dictatorship, I’m the Dick, you are the Tators”
“Drunk like a toasted bagel” -Brennan
“Croc Paper Scissors, Crocodiles eat whatever they want, but the scissors are lesbians so they might be safe”
“You’re a very pretty egg”
“MOANA’S GRANDMA KILLED STEVE IRWIN!”
“I’m always cold, the wind goes right through me. I have porous skin”
“Show some class and don’t stab your mother at the dinner table”
“Family is for sinking bodies in the lake”
“Nothing says romance like strawberries and weed”
“Oh no! It doesn’t like it when I pet the shovel!”
“The whole body comes from a floating sack”
“Its not cultural, the *cult book* isn’t a subway sandwich” -TJ
“A tactical bisque, open carry only”
“The swinging beef went over, it’s top heavy, the swinging beef”
"Its not like a hive bladder”
“Times were tough , I had to erotic dance for pancakes”
“I’m gonna go be long over here and pout”
"May I have permission to insert my long unit”
"Stop dipping your elbows in my fucking applesauce!”
“I have a cactus in my igloo”
“Can I trade a snickerdoodle for a plant?”
“I gave dildo shaped columns grandmothers”
“Shit, someone already signed the dick?”
“Her breasts were billowing in the wind”
“Why didn’t you tell me *character* gave birth to a goat?”
“How do you get into the mindset of a murderer?” “Channeling my inner ficus”
“I just got eaten by a train”
*pronounces “yoga” as “yogurt”*
“The tyrannosaurus wreck”
“Would you care for some Cheese adjacent dip”
*to the tune of Hakuna Matata* “Tattoo an Iguana”
“That thing is most certainly eating your dreams”
“Get your chicken juices off my generic holiday!!”
“Don’t question my chicken juice”
“I forgot what a rhombus was and almost said tampon instead”
“The infernal tooting stops”
“How do you make it blue” “Love…a little bit of water…”
discoholicmusic
janainaart
prguitarman
2087
