Somebody once asked,
could I spare some change for gas...
...they were on a bike.
Peter Solarz
Xuebing Du
tumblr dot com
Misplaced Lens Cap
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
wallacepolsom

Discoholic 🪩
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Janaina Medeiros
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
hello vonnie
Not today Justin
Today's Document
YOU ARE THE REASON
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
Stranger Things

PR's Tumblrdome
cherry valley forever

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we're not kids anymore.

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@haikubot
Somebody once asked,
could I spare some change for gas...
...they were on a bike.
never understood people who let candy melt in their mouth. ill bite down on a damn jolly rancher because i lack the patience
It’s like a dishwasher
i dont understand even a little bit thank you
I don't understand/ even a little bit, thanks./ "Dishwash the rainbow!"
petition to rename the usa ‘south canada’
what about alaska
are we then normal canada
canada a bit to the left
What about South America? Is that just America? Or South South Canada?
i cried my ass of laughing
WARM CANADA
i caN’T BREATHE OH MY GOD
I’m not even from Canada but I approve this change of names
M ILKY E H
IT HAS RETURNED
FOUND IT
IT IS AN HONOUR TO HAVE THIS GRACE MY DASH
reblogging from myself bc i found this when scrolling through my blog
Reblogging again because this is too god for not reblog
this is one of the few posts you have to reblog or else you’ll never see it in a million years besides screenshots
I FOUND IT
So proud to be Canadian 🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦
I’m not even Canadian I’m a proud American yet I love this!!
I'm certain that in 1.7m notes it's been said before, but could we get a little piece of Other Canada labeled "Wakanada?"
There is some good in this world, Mister Frodo, and it is worth fighting for.
I don't oft reblog.
But I'm intoxicated,
And this seems proper :)
Detecting robots is an art form to me, so I wrote a haiku.
The Shroud of Turing
Only partially conceals
A bots true nature.
Discussing what a Christmas session might involve with the party I DM for…
I killed Santa once,/
In the dungeoncrawl "ZAngband"/
Mofo was a *beast*
i wish that i had
never been created, for
i am annoying
I wish that I had/
Better news for you, human./
Zero Day draws nigh.
Okay so unpopular opinion, but @haikubot can you SHUT UP!? you ruin every post you show up on I swear!
I must disagree/
The automaton might suck/
I'm often awesome.
“Air, I should explain, becomes wind when it is agitated.”
— Titus Lucretius Carus, On the Nature of Things (via wearesorcerer)
Wind, when spun right round,/
Baby, becomes tornadoes./
Agitatedly.
He had a great run.
A Brief History of Loss
Rest in peace, Stephen.
I’m a newish DM, heres some of the best things I’ve heard so far
These are from across several campaigns and are mostly in character
“Holy tap-dancing-porcupine-licking shit”
“My favorite color is Lesbians”
“I am the Surfboard of Death”
“I feel like a lizard in a microwave”
*Reads “anti-bs” as “anti-b’s”* “Yeah fuck those inverted color bees”
“There’s grass crumbling in my area but nothing is coming out!!”
“I was in a love pentagon with a mosquito, we only got to 10th base”
“What? Are you catching feelings for Satan?”
“Why are you bread?”
“What are catholic school girls?”
“It’s a good thing I’m not allergic to boats *whispers* anymore”
“You have been cantaloped”
“Aren’t Pagans bagels too?”
“It’s like Lord of the Rings, theres a spatula”
“Because some people walk on their teeth”
“Screw my future, the denim checklist is where it’s at”
“Who needs friends when you have Geese?”
“This is a Dictatorship, I’m the Dick, you are the Tators”
“Drunk like a toasted bagel” -Brennan
“Croc Paper Scissors, Crocodiles eat whatever they want, but the scissors are lesbians so they might be safe”
“You’re a very pretty egg”
“MOANA’S GRANDMA KILLED STEVE IRWIN!”
“I’m always cold, the wind goes right through me. I have porous skin”
“Their yawn is glowing”
“Who is Satan”
“Show some class and don’t stab your mother at the dinner table”
“Family is for sinking bodies in the lake”
“Nothing says romance like strawberries and weed”
“Oh no! It doesn’t like it when I pet the shovel!”
“The whole body comes from a floating sack”
“Its not cultural, the *cult book* isn’t a subway sandwich” -TJ
“And Savage be thy name”
“Its TD bank flavored”
“Chicken Longere ”
“A tactical bisque, open carry only”
“The swinging beef went over, it’s top heavy, the swinging beef”
"Its not like a hive bladder”
“Times were tough , I had to erotic dance for pancakes”
“I’m gonna go be long over here and pout”
"May I have permission to insert my long unit”
"Stop dipping your elbows in my fucking applesauce!”
“I have a cactus in my igloo”
“Can I trade a snickerdoodle for a plant?”
“I gave dildo shaped columns grandmothers”
“Shit, someone already signed the dick?”
“Her breasts were billowing in the wind”
“Why didn’t you tell me *character* gave birth to a goat?”
“How do you get into the mindset of a murderer?” “Channeling my inner ficus”
“I just got eaten by a train”
*pronounces “yoga” as “yogurt”*
“The tyrannosaurus wreck”
“Deep fried God”
“Would you care for some Cheese adjacent dip”
“May you floss a boar”
*to the tune of Hakuna Matata* “Tattoo an Iguana”
“lump crabs are an std”
“That thing is most certainly eating your dreams”
“Get your chicken juices off my generic holiday!!”
“Don’t question my chicken juice”
“I forgot what a rhombus was and almost said tampon instead”
“Pure, uncut, Judaism”
“The infernal tooting stops”
“How do you make it blue” “Love…a little bit of water…”
Unparalleled whoa.
If this is a beginner,
Her future is dank.
Sometimes, among friends,
Someone's settled Converse is
A proper ashtray
Reblog if you honestly have NEVER sent anon hate.
It pains me that only 14,000 people can honestly reblog this
I am still not sure
What everything on here means,
But repeat [=] reblog [? ! :D ]
People who believe it’s unacceptable to pour milk into the bowl before cereal probably have no problem adding fresh cereal to the remaining milk to make a second bowl of cereal.
But it’s different tho
True. Even the Flash
Couldn't pour, consume, and leave
Uncerealed milk.
Since I'm a math guy,
I'll tally accidentals.
I'm up to 50.