Happycalm @happycalm - Tumblr Blog

xoprincessbarbiexo-deactivated2

dduane

...And it's early yet. :/

valiants

To have

babushkaat

let’s hang on mama (of another species)

unpretty

not to be tmi but i was so relieved as a teen when i figured out that my masturbatory fantasies and my actual sex life had literally nothing to do with each other, nor did they need to

i was terrified i was going to end up getting hurt but it turns out when you’re having actual sex with an actual person the things that do it for you can be completely different

i have had plenty of great sex that i’m still not going to fantasize about because when it’s just me thinking about it and not an actual person doing it, it’s not hot anymore

there are plenty of things that in real life are actually just uncomfortable and not arousing at all and i will never do them, but even if i’ve tried it and decided it’s not for me it’s still gonna show up in fantasies because it’s still hot to think about

i mean it sounds stupid and obvious but i spent years either trying to stop myself from finding things hot (spoiler it don’t work), or else letting people convince me that fantasies were talking the talk and obligated me to try walking the walk

royalhandmaidens

sometimes i think about the history of coffee culture in islam and how it spread like it’s so funny

discovered by sufis who decided it was a miracle from Allah since it allowed them to stay up late into the night for night worship

miracle beans = UNLIMITED DHIKR

cue scholars debating for years about whether it’s haram or halal and if it should be classified as an ‘intoxicant’ or not

fast forward to 16th century ottoman empire, where a woman had the legal right to divorce her husband if he failed to provide her with enough coffee

europeans called it the “mohammaden gruel” or “devil’s drink” bc they believed it to be a “bitter invention of satan and his followers”

fast forward to pope clement viii finally giving in and tasting it to see what the hype is about and then stating: “This Satan’s drink is so delicious that it would be a pity to let the infidels have exclusive use of it.”

pope clement viii then proceeds to BAPTIZE THE COFFEE BEANS

royalhandmaidens

the tags on this post are some of the funniest i’ve ever seen in my notifications but this one made me choke on my Mohammedan Gruel

royalhandmaidens

GROUNDS FOR DIVORCE

sheepandpencils

Let them battle side by side????

ripcurlreef

codyyy

didnt feel like rendering the armor idgaf

ltwilliammowett

Bark Europa

Photo by Thijs Heslenfeld

furryfeet

today-till-tomorrow

my soul leaving my body when the bread pops out of the toaster

rexsterss

Big fan of Fulcrum codysoka having a friends with benefits thing going on, and nothing like falling into bed while stressed out of your mind because you’re both leaders of the goddamn Rebellion Intelligence sect. It helps when it’s someone so familiar, too.

februeruri

Something (anything) of Ralph &or/ Alec, please?

i hope some young dweebs will brighten ur day :)

(high-res link)

renaultphile

@smootherthanastorm isn’t this great! They are such a funny couple, and I love the little memento mori on the shelf 🥺

februeruri

the charioteer

named-anon

For your art requests!

I'm currently obsessing over Delta Squad. Could you perhaps draw Sev, being super focused during a mission (the hunt), OR Scorch, being very enthusiastic over blowing something up? Thanks in advance <3

Clone Commando Sev

rosenkranz-does-things

bath time

letmestaytender

[id: a gouache painting of a wet tiger sitting in a body of water. their hair droops and they have a neutral expression on. the water is brown and blue swirls while the sky is green. end id]

jasper-dracona

[additional id: the tiger looks very round, due to it being wet. It is very cute]

bostoneris

breelandwalker

Sir Terry Pratchett was not remotely in the vicinity of Fucking-Around, and had never even heard of that ridiculous thing some of his esteemed colleagues referred to as “Chill.” (1)

(1) In point of fact, he had heard of it, on numerous occasions, most often when a friend or well-meaning-but-politely-horrified acquaintance advised him to locate some, but he always studiously ignored this in favor of a much more productive righteous fury, which he kept hot enough to boil the kettle for his afternoon tea. If the world was not going to work as it should, then damn it all, he would create one in which people had some blasted sense for a change. And he did. Spite, as it turns out, makes for an excellent motivator.