The Holly and the Ivy @hatters-workshop - Tumblr Blog

His Dark Materials Masterpost

Because as we know, the tumblr tagging system is shockingly bad, to the point where searching word for word tags on my page do not, in fact, return all items that are tagged with those exact words, I thought it would be a good idea to make a master post for the His Dark Materials content that I have put out, and pining it to the top of my blog. Ngl i was surprised when collating this how much there was, and even then I've only included things i think people would actually want to read. There's a lot here that I'm quite proud of and so would prefer it not to be lost to eeby deeby.

Fic:

The post that became a longer fic on Ao3

I am not there. I do not sleep. On Ao3

Artwork

My front cover design for Northern Lights, including explanation of how my Alethiometer design explains the whole narrative of the trilogy

My 5-years later redesign of the Northern Lights cover

My 5-years later redesign of the Subtle Knife cover

My front cover/poster for the Amber Spyglass

I've given a link here to a post that should have working links to all the other images on the series

And here collected into smaller views and includes my original version Subtle Knife cover design

Mrs Coulter analysis:

Miscasting the Golden Monkey

TV series Mrs Coulter is not book Mrs Coulter (and that's okay)

Is she a witch? (Adding to someone else's theorising)

TV series general posting:

Alamo gulch scene

Women with a good work ethic

World building/theorising/meta:

Daemons and stage performances

Alethiometer reading

Was Yambe-Akka originally just a Witch's personified death?

Can daemons have venom?

Daemons that change over their life cycle

Could Asriel's photos have been developed with rose oil from the secret commonwealth?

John Parry, character of all time

Additions to others' posts:

Daemons fighting of their attackers in Bolvanger

Mispronouncing Iorek's name

Lord Asriel's age and complaining about hair again

Things that are normal to include for Daemons in Lyra's world

(This link features both my current screen name and my old one, sake-chan) Naming the golden monkey and analysis

Theorising about the abyss

Book suggestion of Mrs Coulter being separated from her Daemon

Inconvenient daemons

Complaining about Pullman's vagueness/rewriting:

Asriel HAS BLACK HAIR??

He gave April an extra day???

Why would Mr Coulter recognise blonde Lyra as the child of black haired Asriel??

The Book of Dust opinions

Less than favourable feelings about The Rose Field (warning it spoils the end of the book)

How it impacts the HDM trilogy

Meme jokes:

Sometimes a family...

Will: What in the Jesus Chris was that??

Lyra: WHAT IN THE JESUS CHRIST WAS THAT??

This sh*t is bananas let's be honest

The Spiritually Lobotomising Children party

#his dark materials #hdm #mrs coulter #lord asriel #lyra silvertongue #lyra belacqua #daemons #golden monkey #analysis #worldbuilding #hdm art #hdm fanfic #masterpost #his dark materials bbc #iorek byrnison

was-once-somewhere-else

I keep seeing people asking ‘is solarpunk really punk?’ because it’s too happy and optimistic and stuff

and I’m picturing a perfect moment in a solarpunk community — the neighbourhood mayor standing with a shit-eating grin on her face when the cops come and cut them off from city power, and nothing turns off

solarpunknetwork

This is my absolute favorite example of how solarpunk is punk. Also, Detroit (and a lot of other places) could probably use something similar for water. Especially in places where it’s illegal to harvest rainwater. I dunno, maybe water tanks cleverly designed as yard art?

thewritingsquid-deactivated2020

Like… yeah it’s happy and optimistic, but my view of solarpunk at least is in complete defiance of many capitalist ideals so if that’s not punk … ‘Punk’ isn’t edgy, dark and gritty. Not to me. Building a society completely based on renewable resources, accessibility for all, and constant sharing is a big fuck you to the current system if you ask me.

solarpunknetwork

Exactly. Near future solarpunk especially requires rebelling against the current system. Punk is about defiance (at least that’s what it’s come to mean colloquially). Defiance doesn’t have to be destruction and violence and grit, it can look like stubborn creation and community building and rejecting many of the dominant system’s values.

caffeinated-transpression

Wait. Why would harvesting rainwater be illegal?

watsons-solarpunk

There’s an interpretation of the concept of property that says if something has value, then someone should be getting paid for it. Despite being flatly absurd and riddled with obvious logical flaws, this has been one of the major philosophies of property in the US, in some contexts (including water) for over a hundred years. This Washington Post article gets into it in detail.

According to this logic, if there are water suppliers in a region, then they’re entitled to money when people get water. Collecting rainwater for yourself gets around that, so, in this concept of property, it’s a form of theft.

There have also been legal battles over people growing food in their lawns, generating their own electricity, etc. If you’re looking to extricate yourself from the systems wherein you have to serve the interests of specific wealthy people to survive, many parts of the western world are ready to use the force of government intervention to stop you.

shiisiln

I feel like a big chunk of the ‘dark, gritty’ aesthetic punk is associated with came as a reaction to the bright, glamorous ‘American Dream’ imagery and patronizing ad campaigns of the 50s. But now that we’re being sold “The future is bleak and dirty and there’s nothing you can do about it,” being optimistic and cheerful is the most punk and rebellious thing you can do

kintatsujo

This is an extremely well put point.

wizardarchetypes

it’s sooo funny when rude customers encounter employees who can deny them service for the first time.

i was working at a little cafe where I could deny service over bad behavior, harassment etc. & mask mandates had just ended a week before & already people were being weird about me still wearing mine—an N95, the kind shaped kinda like a duckbill.

so this man walked in, looked at me sooo scathingly, laughed at me, and said “damn. never known a woman to choose…practicality over looks.”

And I just said, “oh. you can go, you’re not getting a drink.” And he said, “what???”

I said, “sir, you just walked in at 6 am & called women impractical and me ugly in one sentence.”

And he was so astonished he didn’t even argue he just turned around and left 💀🙏🏻 it was like he suddenly became self aware

carolinalaurel

One summer I was running ferry rides across a lake so people could see the waterfalls without walking 6 miles when a guy snapped my bra strap as he was boarding the boat. So i immediately threw him off, he started yelling for my manager, my boss cheerfully informed him that, yeah, she’s the captain of the boat and she can kick off anyone she wants. He goes to storm off, looks expectantly at his girlfriend, and she just goes, “Well, I’M not walking six miles, Michael! I’ll meet you back at the car!” and sits right back down!!!!

The expression on his face when he was told that he couldn’t get on the boat, then immediately told that his girlfriend was ditching him? PRICELESS. he just blinked at her and then stormed off like a child. I gave her a free hat and was like maybe rethink this relationship…….

hickeywiththegoodhair

i once had this fucker come up to order a beer. while i pour it he shows me the wanky fucking chemical structure tattoo on his arm and he’s like “hey. you know what this is” i was like “nah sorry” (never cared abt chemistry in school, plus having to look at a some rando’s pretentious tattoo gives me the douche chills). he decides to respond with “heh. you must not read many books”

i immediately stop pouring his beer. i reply: “heh. you must not want this beer.” thirsty boy immediately starts groveling like a worm “please please no i do want the beer im sorry im sorry” believe me when i say it was one of the most pathetic things ive ever witnessed

lezbadeez

gotta love people immediately backpedaling when they realise that there are Consequences To Being Mean

lastvalyrian

I genuinely believe that part of why it has become so normalized to be openly callous and evil in politics is that customer service culture has trained affluent people that they can treat everyone they consider beneath them however they want and still be treated kindly.

whitefangthefightingwolf

It's also crazy how much more polite people are when they know they are talking to a government employee. Once a week I staff a state "wildlife support" phone line, and very rarely do I ever have a negative interaction, even though MOST of my job is telling people "no we don't perform that service, and there is no agency that does." "no, we can't help that animal, and neither can you, as that is illegal." I tell people "no" up to 30 times per day and I've only had a prickly customer about 3-4 times, and properly yelled at only once. (And if I get yelled at I am allowed to end the conversation.)

Meanwhile, when I worked at PetSmart grooming, I got yelled at MULTIPLE times EVERY day. Over a dog's haircut that I didn't even do.

teaboot

There is a reality not so far from our own in which Ratitouille (2007) was filmed as an avant-garde conceptual horror akin to Eraserhead (1977)

teaboot

There is a young American man in France. His mother has passed away. He has few friends, and works the thankless job of a bus boy in a prestigious restaurant, but dreams of becoming a chef despite having very little skill.

He returns one night to his humble apartment, which is known to have vermin, and comes across a rat, which he could easily kill or set loose on the street.

But the rat- it is special. It seems to speak to him. Promises him every little thing he desires- talent, fame, and fortune. Recognition and esteem like he has only ever seen from afar; fine company like the wealthy men and women whose scraps he picks at over the sink.

Put me on your head, the rat says. Put me on your head and think of nothing.

It is strange at first, yes. Strange to feel another take control of his life and live it better than he ever could. To see miraculous things created with his own two hands, to feel his feet move in graceful and fantastic ways with a confidence he has never had.

But the rat delivers as he had promised: he receives promotions, notoriety, admiration. He is noticed. Envied. Every day is a waking dream, rubbing elbows with beautiful women and handsome men and influential personalities who lavish him with praise. It is addictive, this lifestyle- never mind that he is only ever truly conscious of it as a passenger of in own brain.

It is when he has reached heights few can ever conceive, with all that the rat had ever promised- a beautiful wife in a beautiful house with all the world in his palm, in possession of all the wealth and success a man could ever want, that the rat says that it is leaving.

Leaving? The rat cannot leave. Everything he is, the rat has provided.

"I have delivered on our bargain", the rat says. "I have brought to you all that you have ever dreamed. What more could you desire? I must live my own life, now."

The man is furious. He is terrified. He destroys the rat, in all of the ways that a rat can be destroyed, until nothing is left of it but a fine smear of marinara sauce.

He returns to the restaurant the next day moving like the shell of something hollowed-out and brittle. He cooks well- his fingers remember the movements, his eyes recognize the patterns, his mouth knows without his asking what orders to speak and what platitudes make patrons smile pleasantly with their straight white teeth.

He retains the talents of the rat. The charm of the rat. All the worldly pleasures the rat had provided him.

Still, it seems, he is little more than a vessel for the talents of the rat.

But the rat is gone.

What remains of the man?

teaboot

You see my vision

shamebats

Oh come on lady, you can't deny a man his gaycation

shamebats

You must surrender yourself mind, body and soul to the gaycation or be destroyed

shamebats

Someone on reddit already suggested a sapphibbatical

the-haiku-bot

Someone on reddit

already suggested a

sapphibbatical

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

mechanica1-hands

how could you leave out the best part—the aquarium bit

shamebats

"become a fish" (gay)

ladyananas

men will jump through an entire circus' worth of hoops rather than admitting they're bi

helpless--romantics

theivorybilledwoodpecker

The level of mental hoops that guy had to jump through to say to his wife, "No, honey! Of course I wouldn't be cheating on you! Sex during gaycations doesn't count!"

theivorybilledwoodpecker

Holy fucking shit! It gets trippier!

I mean, I feel horrible for the OP and her SIL...but "surrender to the gaycation" made me laugh way more than I should have.

emilynyaaa

this is an insane story

flickering-leaves

“Some men never return”

Helpppppp 😭

brightlotusmoon

harperhug

Um…here’s the reddit link? I’m speechless.

handageddon

Don't worry honey, all the other men on gaycation aren't real people and they stop existing after. Hey, where's all the homophoboa coming from suddenly?

mananabuffins

That's the beauty of the gaycation!

authoratmidnight

It get wilder. I only found out about this b/c of a youtube video reading the Gaycation post but, this isn't even the first one.

7 years ago someone posted this-

And 5 years a different user posted this-

What is happening with these people??? What weird ass cult did they find??

catboy-artist

I read the shithead guy’s rambling in Nagito Komaeda’s voice

mlembug

"some men never return because they're "totally feminized" into the state of permanent "pseudo-gayness"" is my favourite line out of the entire post

queer-here-and-in-fear

shorthands for dumbassery that i have grown to love deeply

"how dare you say we piss on the poor" in response to someone misinterpreting your post

"_ isnt gonna fuck you" for suck up behavior

"woah. should we tell everyone? should we throw a party?" for who the fuck cares

"and what if the world was made of pudding" for when would this ever matter.

"and sharks are smooth both ways" for a group of people heatedly arguing with 1 guy who is fucking with them all

".. but its about a witch in the alps finding her lost cat" for someone trying to sanitize something to the point of absurdity

queer-here-and-in-fear

this is prime proof that this ENTIRE WEBSITE is autistic because nowhere else would a no tags post that's just an informative list about slang get this much traction.

queer-here-and-in-fear

anyway more addittions

“30-50 wild hogs” for someone making ABSURD excuses for violence.

“what were YOU doing at the devils sacrament” for how do you know that without being a part of it.

“anyone in this thread smoke weed” for the shit you people are saying is so off topic this might as well be a general discussion forum

“dogs are boys and cats are girls” for ooh ur mindset did not grow past 4th grade, huh

“color theory in a childrens hospital” for bending over backwards to not agree that YEA, that thing Came Off Weird

“you are a tar pit” for someone finding any reason to respond with outrage.

“is the __ in the room with us right now?” for I Don’t Think That’s Real.

“bean soup? im allergic to beans!” for ik this doesn’t work for you, but that’s not a flaw. not everything can be for you.

“people irl: hey man hows it going” for this will Never Matter irl

tlirsgender

Many jokes about packers flopping out and bouncing away and such but I still wasn't prepared for how genuinely disconcerting it is for a second when your brain has accepted this as Part Of Your Body & your thang fell off. My pebis

tlirsgender

Every time I pull my pants down to go to the bathroom and watch My Penis go with them I have to like. Recalibrate

fratboycipher

(via @lunnefisk)

inkskinned

because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.

you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.

you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.

don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.

if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.

you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:

how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!

aren't you happy yet?

megpie71

.... and people ask us why masking is so difficult.

note-san

The love of his life tbh

ninoacca

december: finish nona january-april: very intentionally Not think about it lest I break irreparably forever now: being soooo brave about it

chaumas-deactivated20240115

the other thing about Internet dogpiling is that it is just not possible to think clearly during the acute stages. it’s so easy to criticize people for responding defensively or tactlessly to mass criticism but I cannot overstate the degree to which your brain becomes a rat in a trap. I think we do have to temporarily recalibrate our expectations in these circumstances and accept that they do not necessarily represent how that person responds to criticism. the skills for self-regulating and reacting to normal interpersonal criticism are not the same skills needed to respond to viral callouts.

chaumas-deactivated20240115

as other people have pointed out:

for most of human history, if a bunch of people are really mad at you specifically all at once, it means you’re about to die badly. obviously that’s not the case with internet controversy (…usually) but our nervous systems don’t know that. I just think that’s a variable we have to consider inherent to the circumstances rather than an aberration.

sashayed

has anyone figured out how to turn off the thing where you love your pet so much it slides inexorably into grief-borrowing

boomstab-papa

your-cosmic-creature

“For me this glass is already broken. I enjoy it; I drink out of it. It holds my water admirably, sometimes even reflecting the sun in beautiful patterns. If I should tap it, it has a lovely ring to it. But when I put this glass on the shelf and the wind knocks it over or my elbow brushes it off the table and it falls to the ground and shatters, I say, ‘Of course.’ When I understand that the glass is already broken, every moment with it is precious.”

hatters-workshop

I don't think I've read this post before, but I do have my own version of it. I love my very silly cat, and I know one day she is going to be gone. So while she's here, I do my best to make sure that each day I'm with her, I try my best to spend a moment making sure that she knows she is loved. Whether that means giving her love and fuss, or playing with her without distraction, brushing her while she's eating (her favourite idiosyncrasy) or making her bed comfy for her. I try and make sure that no matter what, I can look back on her life and reassure myself that she knew she was loved.

onion-souls

"Why don't the people of Gotham just move?"

Because it's a massive East Coast city but the property values are probably like $200 a month for a three bedroom apartment, and most Gothamites are like, "Hey, Bane never swore to break my back."

And here's the thing: you're not just moving out of Gotham City. You're moving into the rest of the DC universe. And it has hero-based power scaling.

Oh, Metropolis looks fucking great. But it gets invaded by aliens and robots and demigods, because Superman is there.

Wonder Woman's tangling with gods.

You go to Central City, and some Reverse-Flash motherfucker runs backwards from an alternate future and kicks your balls off at the speed of light.

You could move to the West Coast, and oh, an entire city just gets exploded by Cyborg Superman or some shit.

How about you move to Indianapolis, or Cleveland? Haha, no. They have no protector during the alien invasions, and you're in Cleveland

So stay in Gotham. Sure, you have lunatics, but you know that if you had a gun, you at least have a chance against the Joker or Riddler. Mongo of War-World would crush you. But Gotham just has creeps, and you know you have a chance. Even Bane, R'as Al-Ghul, Killer Croc, and Mr. Freeze are just slightly altered dudes. Oh no, Poison Ivy is going to kiss me to death! Who gives a shit, you kinda wanted to go out that way anyway.

There are super-intelligent telepathic gorilla warlords in Africa and the Greek titans are real and chained in the abyss

choppers-pink-hat

This does beg the question of why Gotham has such a horrible in-universe reputation when all its villains are relatively human compared to the cosmic bullshit that most other heroes put up with.

I think it's all about perception. Gotham City has crime. But when Ares sends his undying legions to march upon the mortal realm and Wonder Woman has to punch all of them, people don't internalize that as "crime." That's "a crisis" or "a religious event" or at best, terrorism. Same thing when Superman has to stop Brainiac from shrinking Metropolis or whatever. That stuff is objectively more dangerous but it's on such a huge scale that "crime" is not the word for it. The cops don't involve themselves in this at any point. But the stuff Batman deals with is like, robberies, assaults, gang wars, serial killings. All his villains commit actual crimes, so they go into police reports, which end up as statistics. So when someone compiles all this data, oh look, Gotham City has the highest crime rate in the country, yet again. Forget the fact that 10% of Keystone City's population had their skulls crushed by invading superintelligent gorillas. Who cares that a random guy in Opal City accidentally teleported the entire state to Hell after he found out the hard way that he was born a wizard. Those are not crimes. There's nothing in the police recordkeeping app's drop-down menu for a Gorilla invasion. Closest thing we've got is Random Chimp Event.

So my theory is that while Gotham does have a lot of crime, what it does not have is space catastrophes. And so it ends up being the most dangerous city based on a bureaucratic technicality.