Hawaii Five Element

holistic contemporary living

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More on salt...

Don’t know why weight and salt keep on coming up as a theme, but I have always been obsessed with pink salt. The taste, the color, in baths, in food, in big bricks, walls of it! Crazy! I was recently reading the benefits of salt therapy for horses (and in humans.) Apparently a salt treatment commonly used in race horses and other competition horses has become popular. I am excited to note that inhalation therapy (face steams always) are to be done with salt. This can be inhaled simply by pouring a couple tablespoons of salt into your face steam and breathing for 10-15 minutes, and as for the horses, I am looking into inhalation devices for them. This treatment is said to be effective in opening the blood vessels of the lungs, for anyone with sinus and allergy problems, and also for any skin issues. In Chinese medicine the lungs and the skin are so closely related, as the skin is said to be the 3rd lung, as an interface between the inner and outer worlds. With a life long history of skin problems resulting from too much damp, I decided to try it for myself, and am very please with the instant results. Therapy is said to be done every day for 3-7 days depending on the severity of the conditions. 

Now I just need to figure out how to take this to the pasture!

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Old bananas... During my massive diet overhaul this spring after too many indulgent nights out in Honolulu, I discovered these “cookies” that are packed with protein, and perfect as a snack, or breakfast. The other thing I love about them, despite the fact they are super healthy, is that you can find a good purpose for those bananas you didn’t eat when they were ripe. Banana Oatmeal Cranberry Nut “cookies” 4 overripe small bananas 1.5 cups oats 1 tsp cinnamon  1/4 tsp butter or coconut oil 1/2 tsp almond butter 3/4 tsp sugar, maple syrup or honey  1/4 cup walnuts 1/4 dried cranberry or raisins heat oven to 350 mash everything except walnuts and cranberries add walnuts and cranberries to mixture Drop a tablespoon onto a greased cookie sheet, possibly flatten with the back of a spoon bake 35 minutes possibly rotate at half way point flip cookies over bake another 10 minutes Cool. They will harden the longer they set.

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John Murray Architecture NVC https://deringhall.com/architects/

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The fall season is upon us, and this front porch makes me think of those crisp and sunny Iowa fall days. Here in Hawaii, the nights have become chilly, and a scarf and a little more than a jean jacket is needed for an evening walk. Days are still warm, and the sun can be deceivingly hot at midday, still evoking the desire to jump into the ocean. Fall is about letting go. As the leaves in many places let go of the branches they clung to since spring, we also must learn to let go. I pray for the least amount of drama during this process. Prayer is not enough though is it! We need to practice, as we have all become so trained to hold hold hold for dear life to these earthly things! If we can lean into the new, and find some gratitude for what was, and gratitude that the time has now past, we can allow the abundance of what was, (in nature harvest is before fall) and be able to smoothly move on to the next phase, our stores full from the harvest. There is no stopping time and no stopping the season’s either! So breath, allow, and of course, have GRATITUDE (and a pumpkin spice latte).

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Tony Robbins, “Unshakeable”.  If you have been skeptical of the Tony Robbins hype, or his polished reputation you are like me. Until I truly became interested in taking control of my financial situation. The reviews of his books are very high from customers, and the fact that all donations from purchasing his books go to non profit organizations, are Oprah-esque. These tactics often put a red flag immediately up for me, as being gimmicky- right off the bat. I am not saying helping people in need is a bad thing of course, but it seems that many richest of the rich people have agendas that drive them, and that the gap between them and the ones they are trying to help is just too great.  In Unshakeable, I find Tony’s layman’s approach to unraveling the details of the financial world, and the lingo within it, easier to follow than anything else I have heard on the subject. It still seems somewhat impossible in a way, to get out of debt in this economy. The “small” sums he discusses putting away, like a mere 28k, 50k or 100k investing, isn’t an amount anyone I know under the age of 65 even has on hand. But I am hopeful that even someone as generationally money illiterate as I am, can turn around her financial situation with the right step by step advice. I like his breakdown of the jargon and his tactics. The way he describes the stock market and investments being a long term endeavor that is something which needs to be cultivated over time, makes sense to me. It is my experience in life, to savor the process, and not be impatient in reaching an end goal, because there really is no end goal. Especially not where money is concerned. Taking some of the myths about money out of the shadows is also something Tony does well. He makes the impossible seem lighter. The snake and the rope is an analogy I have heard for a long time but never applied to about money. His confidence is inspiring, as is his interviews from some of the top financial advisors of our time. So if you too have been intimidated, confused, or just plain against learning about money, this is a good place to start.

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Taking the first step... “Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.” Martin Luther King Jr.

Making lasting changes in diet, behavior and our routine is pretty much the most difficult thing to do in our lives. Our patterns have created such grooves in our brain that we literally become conditioned- and addicted- to not only our lifestyle, but our way of being. 

Taking this first step is often the hardest part- I have found in my own life. We have talked a lot about having and making choices. One of the worst feelings of suffering in the world is feeling trapped and having no choice, which is something I think many of us as women feel often. We often times feel indebted to our lives, and the people in them. The idea of service to others is impeccable behavior, however if the server is not in a place of stability there really is no point, the interaction becomes the blind leading the blind. 

So how do we have more stability? First of all, we need energy. Even though energy cannot be created nor destroyed, we all have deep reservoirs inside of us, that we have access too, but lose this access with “stress” basically. For simplification I will use the word “stress” to describe all reactionary behaviors to life, whether it be mental/emotional, physical, or spiritual/psychic. If we have access to these deep energy wells, THEN we can expect to make better choices. If we don’t have any energy it becomes relatively impossible- or at least much harder. Once we have made the choices, one foot follows the other, and we build momentum. If we stop the momentum, it usually has to do with energy again. Perhaps we really get some momentum and start to feel better. Then, we feel so good, we take on too much activity to soon, without the stability or foundation built up, we become burnt out again, and are back at square one. 

So, with most things in life, slow and steady, patience, wins. Who exactly has patience in this modern world though?! Education becomes key here, and if you have ever quit an addiction you know what I’m talking about. Being in the cycle of addiction is such a good, (and difficult) learning experience about your own mind. You can watch yourself crave, fulfill the craving, see how short lived or damaging that decision was, come down from the experience (often times lower than you were before) and repeat. Often times when you see yourself in the cycle enough times, you become willing to chose a different course of action. Almost always this is when people find Jesus, smoke weed instead of drink alcohol, drink coffee instead of taking amphetamines, and so on.  This new thing believed to be at least a healthier addiction, is still an addiction, and doesn’t deal with the underlying problem. Even meditation and yoga can become addictive. So it really becomes about dealing with the underlying problem. And again comes back to having access to these deep wells of energy within us. 

I love this quote by MLK because this cycle has been such a huge part of my life. And laziness often times is what gets me stuck, or lack of energy. So to deal with this, in a moment of distraction often times, I make one good choice. Wether it be get a smoothie or a green juice, do the pink salt flush, go for a long walk and really push myself, or whatever. It is that first step that is the hardest for me. I find once I make one step in the new direction, I get a little high from it. And pretty soon other good choices are sticking like glue. 

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Diet myths

I find it so interesting the amount of people here who have diabetes. Unfortunately there are many factors with this, part of this having to do with Hawaii’s food is only 10% from on-island.

But as I learn more about the cycles in nature, and in our bodies, I realize more that it is not just what you eat, although obviously it is a big factor, but when, and how. Native cultures understood the cycles in nature inherently in their cultures. Plantings and harvesting was all done according to the cycles of the moon, and certain transitions within nature. Even certain times of day were understood to be better for digestion. People also ate what was in season, and mostly fresh, until later times when preserving and storage got figured out. 

It is no wonder, with how far from this simple way of eating we have gotten, there is more dis-ease than ever before. Patients complain more of digestive trouble than almost anything else. AND this is a complaint that could come further down the list, than many other symptoms. So much so that it is almost an uncomfortable daily afterthought, comparatively. 

I, as much as anyone, have always been a foodie. This to me, includes the range of McDonalds french fries, to meals from Michelin star chefs. My old way of eating out would be to search the menu for the most saucey, meaty, fried, indulgence and choose that. Then wonder why I had chronic weight issues, nausea, vomiting, migraines, and other symptoms. Even though we grew up as vegetarians, as treats we would head to McDonalds after long days riding at the barn. Fast food came in handy- and still does- for those times of desperation and hunger, to hangry and frantic to cook. 

I have found though, that I am never satisfied from fast food. I often feel sick or hungry in an hour or two. Which for the amount of bad fats and high calorie counts, seems pretty empty and leaves me wondering if it should really even be called, food.

Now I have implemented a number of loose principles or ideas to strive toward. These ideas put into practice actually help my energy from the high-low drops I used to experience. Contributing to often moody and irritable behavior around meal times. As a person who shies quickly from any type of diet, or extreme rigid behavior to stick to as the concept of will power has always been effusive to me. I find I can mostly adhere to these concepts putting them into practice with gentleness, patience, and self acceptance. Meaning that, rigidity does not appeal to me, patience to see my body slowly shifting over time, and that it can take up to 2 years or more for the process of losing weight sustainably to happen, and self acceptance because I acknowledge that when I am tired or have no energy I fall back into old patterns and make bad choices, which I can see does prolong the whole weight loss process, but is a necessary evil sometimes. AND I know I can tip the scales the other way by then making healthier choices for the rest of that day, even if it means just doubling up on some vitamins.

So here are some suggestions, mostly based on Ayurvedic medicine and my own experience through the years of diet being my number one “struggle.”

When I am tired or have low energy: I make bad eating choices. Some people say stress eating, but I feel that is way to ambiguous. To me it is about having enough energy.

Vitamins play a super important role in cravings, hormones, mood, and general health. I really have been an irregular pill person my whole life. Despite going through periods of taking this herb or that. What I have found is if I am on a regimen of the right vitamins (ones that I can digest and feel effects from) I have more energy, and a slew of other benefits, including losing weight because I am feeling NOURISHED. With how little nutrient are in food/soil these days, I feel even if I am eating organic, extra vitamins are essential for everything from hormones, cravings to mood stability. 

Another super awesome shift is my taking liquid probiotics regularly. I already was trying to take pill form probiotics for years until I really never felt much from them. When I started making my own probiotic coconut water I actually feel the effects and benefits from this much more. I love Amanda Chantal Bacon’s recipe in her Moon Juice cookbook the best. I have shared this recipe and have had clients be cured of 3 week or longer sicknesses. 

Green juice. I know this sounds cliche. But how else are you going to get those action packed nutrient enzymes? Most salad we get is pre-made and who knows how old. When we cook those greens they might taste better but lose so much power or prana or life force. We as a culture need to start alkalizing our bodies BEFORE we get sick. I know so many people who finally start thinking about this when they get cancer, but if we start earlier, who knows what illnesses we can avoid. I don’t need to go into the studies right now about the environments that cancer and other inflammatory diseases grow in. An easy substitute I have been using is dumping 1/4 teaspoon of Hawaiian Spirulina into 1 quart of water and drinking that every day.

Intermittent fasting is a concept that has been around for centuries, literally. This is not at all about starving yourself, however it simply is giving your digestive system a break. This is important for gut health, tissue repair, and other functions of digestion. I love to do the pink salt flush up to four times a month, or more if you are experiencing a chronic digestive issue. This is known as the10 cent colonic. It is a mineralizing flush in which you drink warm salt water and get a total clean out. The most important part of this being what you put back in after the flush. I like to do this as a recovery method, especially when I have eaten to late the night before, or my digestion just feels off and needs to be reset. It is really good to do this after a day of eating only soup, watermelon, greens, or juice to get a total clean out. Food following the flush consists of other easy to digest foods. Meaning no dairy, wheat, meat or anything fried. One day a week particularly powerful on the 1st, 4th, 11th and new moon, will not only mean you are eating less calories over all, but it will give your digestion a nice rest to repair itself. 

Time of day is the key to all we do in life, as the ancients saw it. It is a concept most of us know literally nothing about. One of the ways the people in ancient cultures would be in tune with nature was to understand that there is a time of day, and a season, to do any activity, including sleep. They understood the importance of working with nature, not against it. This created a simple flow to life, and in turn, a lot of support. I will go into the laws of midday and midnight in another space, but for now, I will introduce eating between the hours of 12-4pm. Women’s health is so crucial for their strength, and ultimately we have up to 16 times more strength than men. Digestion is such a huge part in this strength. Basically if we eat anything after 4, 5 or at the latest 6 we do not digest it. It sits in our stomach all night, and the next morning we still have food left over, leading to weight gain, and throwing off so many other functions. When the sun is the highest in the sky, it is said our digestive fire is also the strongest. And this is the time period we are most likely to digest pretty much anything. So of course you want to make healthy choices, but I have found that as long as I eat between 12-4pm, I can pretty much digest anything (finally).

So the last thing I want to discuss related to eating and diet is about mind fullness. This is a term in the wellness industry that is thrown around A LOT and is probably best not even used. However I will use it here because I like the play on words when talking about food and eating. Eating has so much to do with emotion, and emotion has so much to do with thinking. Studies have come out now about not only the direct correlation of emotion and thought, but also of body and brain chemistry and thought. So this makes discussing emotion and thought or the mind, very important in our discussion about eating. 

Remember how I said earlier my eye always goes to the most UNheatlhy option on the menu? The ice cream with the most possible toppings, or the heaviest fried sandwich? Well now I have trained my eye to gravitate towards the healthiest option first. I see what the option is, and then I go on to what I would have actually wanted to eat, based not on hunger but on my senses. From this place I am then able to narrow down a choice. Healthy or unhealthy? 

This works about 90% of the time now for me. And of course I am eating way healthier. However there are still those moments of pure hanger, that I cruise through a drive through, convinced this is the only possible way for me to be satiated. But when I get home, I double up on vitamins, take another swig of probiotics, or do a pink salt flush and stick to easy to digest foods the next day, and feel way more in balance. 

I am not going to go into exercise in this segment. Not only do I feel this is another misunderstood concept in the west, and one that is important for discussion. However I believe exercise is not as related to dieting as we are trained to think it is, and I would prefer to separate the two functions. Dieting in general is also a misnomer. In the past, people thought calories in and calories out. People would say, just eat a healthy diet and exercise and you will lose weight. I have tried both of these things, together and separately, and without having my hormones and digestion balanced, it wouldn’t matter what I ate, or how much I exercised, and my weight would barely budge.  I also tried watching what my skinnier friends would eat, or in many cases, not eat. I have never been someone who is capable of skipping meals because I just “forgot to eat” or go days without eating anything. The message I want to convey here is about balance, and moderation. In Ayurveda there is a concept having to do with addiction. For success, a person never ever is advised to go cold turkey from the thing they are addicted to. Instead, the recommendation has to do with moderation. So start by substituting 25% of the unwanted behavior or substance, and ADD something healthier. If you want to quit smoking 4 cigs a day, take one out, and put a tea tree toothpick in your mouth instead, or whatever substitution seems doable. Do this for a few months, and really get into the new behavior, enjoy it before going to 50% of the unwanted, and add something else healthy. Keep going until the behavior or substance has been changed. Keep in mind it usually it takes 40 days for the synapses in the brain to switch over from an old habit to a new one. 

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nontoxic nail polish review

Hey. So I was so hesitant to start painting my nails again. Like many girls out there, my nails were totally trashed (mainly toes) from years of keeping them painted. In lieu of health (and saving more money) I decided to go au natural for a while until I was motivated to find a safer nail polish. These colors, with the names marzipan, ghost ranch, and himalayan salt were exactly what this doctor ordered. I am very impressed by the color and consistency of them. They were not cheap but I got a little deal ordering the 3 pack. Plus I couldn’t decide which color to get- I mean could you really choose between ghost ranch and himalayan salt? 

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Choices/Weight. Weight/Choices.

As a person who has “struggled” with weight loss almost as long as I can remember, I used to think I had to do something drastic to lose weight. And like NOW. My whole life I felt like I had the images of Kate Moss, and even my dad telling me “yes if you just lost 5 lbs.” My mom on the other hand would tell me I am vain for trying to lose weight, to cut or die my hair, wear makeup or any other things girls play around with. As a girl who is into all that, before getting cleaned up, I was at the barn and it was not uncommon to have dirt under my fingernails, sawdust in my ponytail, and smell like a horse. 

Lately, I feel like I have been losing weight not by dieting. Not by counting calories or limiting myself off from eating bread or dairy. I have discovered that I get cramps after I eat dairy, heavier after eating bread, or aggressive after sugar and caffeine. I have done this by simply tuning into my personality and watching myself more, as if I was watching a computer screen, to notice what I put in and comes out. I thought these personality traits were just part of me. Many times after a five element acupuncture treatment I could hear the sounds of my voice totally different. It was like a different person was talking. My own sound current had shifted in simply one hour. Then slowly, I have identified more tones in sound current and in my gut. So how do I feel after I eat that? And that? and what about that? Is it really worth it? How many times of paying the price- and everything has a price- including every drug, teacher, class, relationship in life- do I need to be able to make a different CHOICE. This process is not about limiting myself. It is about seeing, feeling, hearing, and then thinking what are my options here. I want to be a healthy person. I want a computer that functions optimally essentially. If I put this in- what will I get out? 

When I sit down at a restaurant, I am so trained to eat from my eyes alone, I simply go to the most heavy, fried, creamy dish. Just writing this my stomach starts gurgling. I am also a girl who didn’t grow up learning about how girls eat- and diet. We ate vegetarian food at home, but as a treat we would get McDonalds chicken sandwiches, Taco Bell, or hot fudge sundaes with Spanish peanuts. These foods became our reward for after school, a Saturday with my friends at the barn, or a quick fix when you are starving. I also never was interested or learned how to cook. When I did cook as an adult, it was to bake elaborate desserts, or heavy comfort foods. 

When I read Amanda Chantal Bacon’s Moon Juice cookbook something shifted in my brain. You can still be a foodie and eat things that are delicious and healthy. Her recipes are simple ingredients, and easy for a lazy cook like me to make and feel like there is something special there. Just adding more fermented foods, more greens, and simple power supplements like maca, tocotrienals, and reishi mushrooms to my teas, lattes, and shakes I soon realized how my hormones and energy was shifting. Eating less sugar, I found there was a total edge of my personality that was taken off. My incredible mood swings and crying for no reason leveled off. In all the diets I had done I had never experienced actually feeling healthier. Now I am not as rigid in my diet as ACB, but I have taken much inspiration from her. I have fermented coconut water, and raw chocolate around. I always get my greens in, and really watch the sugar. It is not about not doing it totally- but pay attention. I don’t eat after 4-5pm, but if I do, and I feel disgusting the next morning because I didn’t digest any of the food, I do a pink salt flush. It’s all about finding the balance day to day. I have even played around with drinking camomile tea or kava tea throughout the day instead of black tea. I have loved the calming and emotional steadiness from it, and my sleep at night is so much easier. So amazing to watch the effect of these drugs. Literally they are drugs. 

Part of the challenge for me is just coming up with something to eat. I am a lazy cook, and also when I am hungry I need to eat right away. So having yummy things on hand is especially helpful. With the price of buying juice and eating out these days- we really can’t afford to keep doing it when eating at home is so much healthier, and less expensive. 

Think about all the waste that goes into eating out, plastic and paper, water for dishwashing, sick people handling your food, stressed people handling your food. Cheap oils, cheap salt, and the list goes on. 

There are so many aspects to losing weight. There are certainly no quick fixes in any sense of the word. We have to remember it is a process. It takes YEARS to turn the train around. At least it takes 40 days to get into a new habit. Don’t get me wrong. Every day I still think about french fries, getting cool sculpting, and even smoking cigarettes sometimes.  If we can ask ourselves, just by checking in with ourselves, how would I feel if I ate/drank that? Is it worth the price? ...And there is always a price. An admittance fee if you will...

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Pink Salt Flush

What is said to be the 25 cent colonic. Many people have used colonics for generations to cleanse the colon of impurities and back up, and to regulate the action of the intestine. This flush however, I much prefer, as I love pink salt anyways, which is what initially attracted me to it. This flush actually works on the entire digestive tract, from one end to the other. Diet, overeating, and stress can all contribute to an unhealthy digestive system. When the cells become damaged in the tract, it is a good idea to give the digestion a break, and do a salt flush once a month, or on every day of the the moon, or 4 times/month. Starting on the new moon as the first day. So 1,4, 11 and full moon. Or just do it once a week. Recommendations, if you have colitis,  IBS, or digestive disorders is to try it every day for a week or two,  and apparently people report great things. It is better not to fast but to eat lightly- no fried, no dairy, no wheat. So cooked food or soups is preferred that day, and no coffee. Tea is ok. This can reset and heal the tissues, restore proper gut PH, restore the minerals to the tissues, and rid parasites and toxins from the system. Sounds pretty good right?

Directions:

Take first thing in the morning. Mix 1 tbsp high quality pink salt (used for cooking) in 1 quart of warm water. Do not use any other salt unless it is very high quality. Must be warm for the effects to happen. Try to drink it within 5 minutes. Then in another half hour, drink another quart of only warm water- no salt. 

What to expect:

Usually a rapid full elimination happens between 1-2 hours. For me it was exactly 2 hours. I felt pretty shitty, literally during that whole wait FYI. So you might want to be at home or somewhere comfortable (not driving in traffic). The results were so amazing though. If you do not have a complete “flush,” you might be extremely salt deficient, have damage to the intestines, or a lot of toxins. Do not be alarmed as your cells have needed to take in all this salt. This is a good thing and is what the body needed. The cells actually hold onto the moisture until there is enough of a gradient to push out the toxins. This can take a few times (days) to occur if there is heavy toxins or damage. This process is training your body, your gut, flush out toxins more rapidly. So keep repeating the process (not in the same day) until you start getting a full “flush.” AND FEEL AMAZING.

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An Outlaw and a Lady: A Memoir of Music, Life with Waylon, and the Faith That Brought Me Home

Book review:

I was inspired to read this based on my longstanding affection for Waylon Jennings’ music. I have to admit I have also been curious about the album cover Leather and Lace. This cover was my only real exposure to Jessi Colter. I really had no interest in learning more about her until this book popped up to my attention. 

Be prepared for the HEAVY Jesus themes, and really generic language describing the Christian views, like Jessi waiting her entire life to hear Waylon utter the words he accepts Jesus into his heart. I appreciate Christ’s love, and myself have no problems admitting how important the practice of unconditional love is in our lives, but what is with the attachment to saying the words. I just can’t identify with that. Words are very powerful, mantras have the ability to change cell chemistry. But to me it sounds so unoriginal and generic to have to mumble certain phrases other wise...who knows otherwise what might happen. This fear based Christianity is what threw Waylon off of the whole thing for most of his life, and I can certainly related to that. Event hough Jessi was raised by a Pentacostal preacher as her mom, she swears her mom practiced non-judgement and non hatred. But creating a duality like, us versus them, always creates a separation, not a joining together of. 

What I did love about the book is the amazing stories that Jessi, very casually throws in of her time with the boys. All drug, sex and alcohol addicts, she swears that by her loving acceptance of Waylon’s ways, as difficult as it was, made her stronger. I have to wonder how her health must have been in jeopardy though. She comes off as a saint, once she tried cocaine and hated it, of course, but how many STD’s and crazy dangerous rages was she exposed to over the years of their marriage. Many have criticized her music for being antifeminist. That she is nothing without her man. I appreciate her voice in this book to explain herself, even though she says she feels no need to. The book basically explains how, through her love of Jesus, she was able to stay strong enough to weather the storms with the love of her life. 

In a strange way this message effected me. I have to admit, when I started listening to her music post reading this book, the messages very much sounded weak Southern belle. But her explanations of her relationships, and the role of her faith and the music included in this, actually portrays her as naive, sheltered, or enlightened. I am not sure which.

Once I could get passed the difficult cult language around Christianity, I was able to identify with the themes of love and acceptance. In fact, it really helped me, in a Jerry Springer kind of way, to realized that although I don’t have a rock star lifestyle, at least I have gotten past the relationships with the drug addicts and alcoholics. This is improvement, right?

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Cold Showers

An amazing recent discovery has led me to be a believer in the ancient art of Ishnaan hydrotherapy. Or simply, cold showers. We would never think in this modern age of doing this, right? I even had a boyfriend tell me one time about how he would make the shower absolutely as hot as possible, and stand under it for as long as possible, because when he was growing up he never had hot water. Well I used to wonder what the hell he was doing in there, that’s how I found out the story. 

Cold showers however, actually are better for you in a number of ways. First of all, the circulatory system actually rises to the surface as the capillaries open, increasing circulation, and actually making you feel, well, hot. There are so many benefits to increasing circulation for vitality, because each organ has its own blood supply. And wherever the blood goes, the chi also goes. 

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What is yours- what is mine?

I, and many of my friends, have struggled with this theme of being “too sensitive.” We often feel other people’s stuff, and in fact it can be draining at the very least, and devastating at the worst. Women especially I find, due to their naturally more sensitive nervous systems, struggle with this. For example, you seem to be feeling great. Over the moon, strong, happy...then someone comes at you. Your partner is pissed off about whatever, maybe he just naturally wakes up with war on his mind. Or he comes home fighting the battles of the world all day. Or, a co-worker literally has it out for you. It seems nothing you can do is right with them, and they target all of their aggression onto you. Well all of the circumstances, including just someone with road rage in the car next to you, is quite common theses days. Especially these days. 

So how do we handle it? This theme keeps coming up again and again, for clients, friends, and myself included. Instead of instantly going into that self hatred, that drama again, we can settle down, and BREATHE. Make a light comment of it, or a poignant one, and if you can’t think if anything except fuck you to say? Even though that is exactly what you are thinking- say nothing. Just walk away. Another tactic to cool you down is to drink a glass of water. Most of us are actually dehydrated. Another practical thing you can do is in your mind, repeat, I love you, I love you, I love you. This will have more than one positive effect on your nervous system and confidence level.

The other thing to do is to realize if you are triggered, hey this is my ego being triggered. So what if this person is mad. See where they are coming from.  Most often, it is coming from their own projection, their own negativity. Anything someone is accusing you of- is 100% their own projection. And likewise your own. If there is some truth to what they are saying- get beyond your ego, and see if it resonates. There is great value sometimes in someone being bluntly honest with you. 

The reality is unless you have a solid personal practice of some kind to stay centered, and are not indulging with inflammatory foods, you are going to have a harder time staying focused, energetic, and confident. I just had a conversation with a friend who had just quit smoking. She said she always thought- for 25 years- that she needed a cigarette to focus. Eventually when she realized it was the cigarette making her unable to focus, she could have the understanding she needed to quit. Same is true for many things in our lives. We think these habits and these people we interact with is their problem- we think we need them to survive. We think we need the drama and addictions become a way of life. In fact, it is just the opposite. The more we clean up our act, the happier, more focused, and stronger we will be. 

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Fly girl arrival in Hawaii, 2016.

[hawaiifiveelement-blog]

Attraction, manifestation, the world is as we are.

When I was young, I was repeatedly told in school, the world is as you are. As an adult, this concept has shown as a very popular theme in this modern new age. Words like, polarity, attraction, manifestation, calling in the one, like attracts like, and more, are used in about every workshop or self help book these days. Listening to John Wineland the other day, who’s main teacher is David Deida, I found a merging of the age old “the world is as we are” message from my youth, applied to the modern teachings about relationship.

So the first principal is, whatever state i am bringing to the relationship of my life, or my partner, sexual, work, or friend poses the limitations to how I am showing up. The quality and the texture of the interaction, is directly related to how tired I am, how present I am.  So it becomes our responsibility to bring the best of whatever we are, more awake, more clear, and more present. Even if this requires showing up for heart break or separation.  How we show up has to do with the caliber of person we are and want to be. Becoming a high caliber person has to do with your own routine, and personal practices. Yoga and meditation, taking good care of yourself with personal hygiene, (including exercise, massage, acupuncture) and other ways to become a more relaxed person are all part of this soup. This brings more essence into your life. And it could be just committing to yourself right now, I will not let myself down, I will not let others down as a practice to raise your caliber. However if you are a tense, stressed, and toxic person, (be real here please) maintaining this level of integrity will be nearly impossible. 

I won’t go into many of the reasons why we are choosing not to be in a high caliber, or get tense in reacting to situations. Except the main one of our childhoods. Our programming starts (in the yogic tradition) from the 4th month of pregnancy, and ends 40 days after birth. So during this time, which is totally nonverbal development, we are taking in everything from our parents, our road map to our entire life. Needless to say, almost all of us need to rewire our nervous systems from that time, and create a new road map for our lives. This is where your personal practices come in, to allow that rewiring to take place. An opportunity to do something different.

Let me summarize plainly:  if the world is as we are, and we are in a toxic, shut down, tense, worried shape, showing up for another person or our jobs or our art, whatever, is at the very best, toxic, shut down, worried and tense. If you take the time (no one wants to do this of course) to rewire your nervous system, to become the very best of ourselves, the highest caliber of ourselves, that will translate to everything we do. And with the world in the current state, how can we each afford not to.