HazFlash

Look, I'm just vibin' here

[jackkdaniels]

I respect an "I can fix him" villainfucker 50x more than a "he didn't do anything wrong, he's just misunderstood!" villainfucker. like yeah they both get the cute domestic happily ever after, but man the first guy has depth they have nuance and most importantly they are actually aware they're a villainfucker

[jackkdaniels]

but the guy i respect MOST is the unapologetic villainfucker. "yeah he did that shit and it was sexy" fuckers. "was the wanton murder fun babe it looked fun" fuckers. these guys know where it's at

[charlesoberonn]

[charlesoberonn]

[thekindlygrammarfairy]

it's called lady macbething someone, I'd grab you the college humor video but I think it's paywalled.

[charlesoberonn]

I found it

[sleepyteamage]

@freakxwannaxbe

[freakxwannaxbe]

Yes

[shadesofmauve]

So D&D black dragons are supposed to live in swamps, right? Pretty amphibious, live in swamps, lair in...

caves. With a main entrance and a back entrance.

In swamps.

I really have trouble with the idea that there's these dragon-sized caves in an area with such a high water table, y'know? We have to go through miles of swamp to reach this lair, it's not one little boggy place in a mountain valley otherwise filled with nice caves. And the cave has to have two entrances, too? I can believe in dragons, but not this geology.

So... maybe it's not geology. Because a lair in a marshy place with exacting design specifications sounds a lot like a totally natural thing --

A beaver lodge.

So now I have this new image of black dragons industriously gnawing down giant trees to construct their mighty swamp lairs, and I am so much happier.

[shadesofmauve]

He's building his lodge.

[martyslittleusedblog]

To anyone worried about this eliminating the fear factor, don't worry; instead, imagine a lair full of sharp spikes formed from logs. Imagine previous, less fortunate treasure-hunters, dragonslayers, etc. being impaled on those spikes for your party to see.

[thecreaturecodex]

That's brilliant! I'd done a dragon with shrike behavior in my game before, but it was a red dragon. I had the wrong species. We do know that black dragons like to let their food decompose a bit before tucking in. So they put in on a meat hook for a while.

[shadesofmauve]

I love that! Happily adding shrike behavior to my black dragon beaver headcannon.

[dragons-locator]

To anyone worried about this eliminating the fear factor, don't worry; instead, imagine a lair full of sharp spikes formed from logs. Imagine previous, less fortunate treasure-hunters, dragonslayers, etc. being impaled on those spikes for your party to see.

dragons

DRAGONS LOCATED

[soundsfaebutokay]

It's utterly magnetic when a character's rage is quiet and precise. When they don't scream and throw things but they just b r e a t h e and very very calmly aim their fury like an arrow shooting inexorably towards the target of their wrath. It captures my attention, I lean in close, I wait for the hit. It never disappoints.

[joja-corp-anti]

wh- what did you just say to me

[todaysbird]

you heard them. unhand the driftwood, leg boy

[important-animal-images]

[nudityandnerdery]

New cosmology dropped, we know what's underneath the turtle now!

[thedankmemes]

[nessy-s-junkdrawer]

Don’t mind me, just rescuing this gem from the tags…

[radicalposture]

palpatine straight up told anakin he was a sith lord and anakin was like well. this is a lot to process so im going to go fetch my boss and we’ll come back in about half an hour and murder you so don’t go anywhere and palpatine didn’t you have to admire the man

[prophecyguy]

palpatine is the best villain of all time bc he's the classic master manipulator who pits his enemies against each other without lifting a finger by preying on their weaknesses but normally those types of villains have the caveat that once their bullshit get exposed it's a simple matter of slapping handcuffs on them bc they're like weak old CEOs or whatever

but our boy sheev? when his plans don't go perfectly he's just like oh well and starts zapping fuckers to death bc he's also the most powerful old prune in the galaxy and he could just kill everyone around him if he gets bored

like luke throwing away his lightsaber and declaring himself a jedi was great but you know that luke kinda thought that was it, the crotchety old emperor doesn't have vader to fight for him anymore courtesy of luke cutting off vader's hand for possibly the fortieth time in anakin's life, so it's smooth sailing until lando destroys the death star and blasts them all to kingdom come, but then palps is like aw shucks no new apprentice can't blame a guy for trying and just starts deep frying luke for shits and giggles and our poor twink is like THIS ISN'T ONE OF THE THINGS I THOUGHT THE FORCE COULD DO ABORT ABORT ABORT

and with mace and co arriving at sheev's office to bring him in for being dark catholic it's functionally the equivalent of a scooby doo villain of the week getting unmasked by the gang but then he just starts snapping necks

[starwarsheritageposts]

star wars heritage post

[autisticsupervillain]

The fact that Palpatine tried to play dumb at first when Windu showed up just sells it to me. It's like he thought he genuinely could bulkshit his way out of this before just getting annoyed and going "well, fuck it".

[loumandliker]

one thing about americans is that they know how to make a fucking milkshake

[loumandliker]

i hate the stupid milk consistency shit you get here like if you give me a milkshake it better be rock fucking solid. i want that thang thick like concrete. it should piss me off trying to drink it through a straw. i should have to wait for it to thaw

[caltracat]

[behindnightmaresanddreams]

Americans are so good at making Beverage. One of our Foundational Moments was actually a party involving Making Beverage. Google "Boston Tea Party" for more

[supreme-leader-stoat]

[daveedmee]

[catchymemes]

[mandycantdecide]

everyone on tumblr dot com

[calware]

sure what's the worst that could happen

[sasukemexicano]

@uranium

[uranium]

[mandycantdecide]

[adhdoofenshmirtz]

[corvigae]

Tumblr rn:

[rythyme]

me when i fucking boop you

[gwenlena]

hello tumblr