heather is shrinking

i made the decision to have weight loss surgery to save my life. this is my journey.

[heatherisshrinking]

Oops...

Sorry, seems I forgot to post anything after I had my LBL in October.

Well, it’s June now, coming up 9 months post-op. Everything went awesome and I healed up great.  I’m not 100% happy with my results because I wish my surgeon had done more to deal with the excess skin on my upper stomach, but there’s no money for revisions, so I’m learning to love what I’ve got.

I’m dealing with a bounce-back of 30lbs from my lowest weight and that’s been hard. Last year was tumultuous and I spent most of it recuperating from plastics. Now I’m finally starting to get back on track with food and fitness to really learn what it takes to maintain a healthy weight and lifestyle.

This is a marathon, not a sprint.  If you’re pre-op or less than two years post-op, you really don’t have any idea what life is going to look like down the road.  

Be gentle with yourselves, pigeons.

[heatherisshrinking]

T-minus 4 days

on monday, i go in for my lower body lift (LBL) aka tummy tuck/butt lift aka belt lipectomy aka circumferential trunk lift.

that’s the last scheduled (and budgeted for) post-weightloss plastic surgery i have.  

thinking about how much i’ll have physically changed since i went to my orientation three years ago... it’s sometimes really hard to remember that body. i don’t *feel* different most of the time, so it’s hard to remember where i used to be.

that’s the biggest thing i wish could be conveyed to pre-ops.  life goes on and your mind quickly adapts to the new normal.  that’s when it’s so easy to backslide, to eat too much, to forgive the 5, 10, 15, 20 pounds that creep back on the scale.

be vigilant.  look at the before photos.  try on your oldest and biggest pair of pre-op pants.  remember.

i am so excited, and terrified, for this surgery.  i always knew i’d get my arms done -- and they’re so much better than i ever could have hoped they’d be! -- but, this surgery was never really on my radar. i’m so glad i get the opportunity to have it, but i don’t know if my expectations are realistic and that worries me. 

these waves of panic keep rolling over me as i make lists of things i need to do before i can’t and things i want to do while i’m off work once i’m physically able.

i kind of wish i could just go to sleep and wake up tuesday morning ready to go home from the clinic with my new mid-section all wrapped up like a puffy christmas present. 

[mandasmuffintop]

Let’s talk about something I deal with on the daily, that has been the “demon on my shoulder” my whole life: Food Addiction. ————————————— I can’t tell you what triggered it, when it first started, or why I still struggle. I CAN tell you that my addiction to food has been around for as long as I can remember. I remember being a child and sneaking foods when no one was looking. I would hide food in my room and eat in shame. I would spend all day thinking about food, eat even when I wasn’t hungry, and eat past the point of full until it hurt… then I’d eat some more- all while in an almost “blackout” trance. —————————————— My food addiction was a big part of why I ended up at 330lbs at the age of 20. Even as an adult, I would hide and eat food in shame. So, when I finally made the decision to actively fight against my addiction and get Weight Loss Surgery to help save my life, I thought the addiction would go away. But it didn’t. ————————————— People probably look at me and think I’ve won against my demons. They see me go to the gym 5-6 days a week, they see me eating small portions of healthy foods, they see me as victorious. But what they don’t know is I still struggle every single day. Even after WLS, losing 150lbs, having skin removal, and all of this hard work- I still fight against my own brain. I STILL sneak food at night, give in to my “trigger foods”, and some days I lose control. —————————————– If you’ve never struggled with an eating disorder like food addiction, binge eating, etc. you might not understand the frustration of your mind sabotaging your every effort. But if you DO know- if you are like me- just know that you are NOT alone. Food addiction can make you feel alone and ashamed, but I’m here to say that as long as you’re fighting to be better- even if some days or weeks or MONTHS you just give in- YOU ARE STILL AMAZING AND STRONG. You may not win every battle, but you can win the war, and I will be right at your side to fight along with you if you ever need me. —————————————— Happy #tummylovethursday everyone!

[heatherisshrinking]

This is a thing I still deal with daily.  Getting WLS and losing 110 lbs did not fix my brain.

[femkitti]

concept: I have a job I love and work from home, which allows me to sleep in every day. In my free time, I tend to the plants in my greenhouse, listening to music, while my cats follow closely behind. At night I curl up next to the love of my life and we talk about how far we’ve come. My anxiety is nonexistent and nothing hurts.

[heatherisshrinking]

Three years between photos.

Two years post-vsg.

One month post-brachioplasty.

[sadbitchezonly]

Being able to find someone you click with so naturally is the best feeling ever. You feel like you’ve been best friends you’re whole life, it feels like you’re coming home. You’re so comfortable with them. Maybe that’s what a soulmate is. Not someone who shares every single thing in common with you, but someone who feels like home.

[heatherisshrinking]

2 years, 9 months between photos.  same clothes.

i’m coming up on my two-year surgiversary soon (next week!) and i’ve had a lot of trouble seeing the changes lately. it’s so weird how our head gets used to the new normal and you really do forget where you started. 

i pulled out this outfit and put it on saturday morning.  it was... humbling.  

i’ll have more words next week.  i need to get back to writing about this journey. it’s good to keep it all at the front of my brain.  backsliding is a thing and maintenance is no joke.

[heatherisshrinking]

I tried on corsets last weekend: 1. The sales lady kept saying "you could definitely go smaller." I was already in a size 28. 2. Holy crap, look at that waist!! 3. I want all the corsets now. 4. No, seriously. Why don't we wear corsets anymore? 5. When did I get so tiny?

[heatherisshrinking]

And today, two years after orientation, a year and a half after surgery, I did my first 10k.

[positivelifetips]

[heatherisshrinking]

working on it.

[healthierways]

[fromfattytobaddie]

Reblog if you're a WLS blog.

[sincerelyfitblr]

hi! i was sleeved 01/28/16

[bettylosesabunch-blog]

Got mine done on 11/2/15

[journey-tome]

12/7/15

[fatcinderellasball]

12/08/15

[foodlesss]

5/20/16

[myvsgexperience-blog]

19th May 2016

[fatgirlslimm]

Will be having my wls June 6, 2016! 

[sundaynarrative]

May 9,2016

[fatmaninalittlesuit-deactivated]

October 2016

[trapforfools-deactivated2017042]

Wow, I feel old: July 2014

[changingmymentality]

30 May 2016!!

[bitsleftbehind]

October 21, 2015

[bariatricbeast615]

June 15th, 2015!!!

[mandasmuffintop]

December 29, 2014 💕💕

[lizfaggets]

December 23rd 2015 😭😍💖

[happylosing]

June 4th 2016😛

[takemeto-onederland]

Soon! August 24 2016 😬😬😬😬

[sleevedrebel83-blog]

June 9th 2016

[chubbybunnyvsg]

December 17th 2015. 😁😁😁

[heatherisshrinking]

March 26, 2015. 

[heatherisshrinking]

This is not okay.

I’ve been really stupid with food, lax with exercise and a moron with money.  A lot of things -- down to personal hygiene (hello, hairs which need removing/bleaching) and housework (please save me from the cat-fur tumbleweeds) -- I’ve let get entirely out of control this summer.

Hell, I’m not even sleeping enough because... I just don’t want to.

That’s pretty much it.  I don’t really care if I take care of myself right now.  I’m just trying to get through until September.  I’m transitioning out of the job I’ve been doing for 12 years at the same time the workload has increased 300%.  I’m trying to keep up, catch up AND train my replacement all at the same time.  I just don’t have the spoons for anything else.

There’s only eight pounds between the far-left diamond and the far-right, but that’s eight pounds too many.  I’ve got to get that straightened out right quick.

Ugh.  

[suzy-getting-stronger]

‘I’m not hungry but I want to eat’ - a novel by me.

[twopartsbitter]

if u were a gifted/talented child who grew into an anxious adult w fragile self worth and a perfectionist streak that makes u abandon things if ur not good at them immediately clap ur hands

[heatherisshrinking]

*standing ovation*

[the-positive-princess]

[heatherisshrinking]

note to self.

[hauntaur]

This is money cat. He only appears every 1,383,986,917,198,001 posts. If you repost this in 30 seconds he will bring u good wealth and fortune.

[heatherisshrinking]

cats and money?  no brainer.