dead alive @heavymetalyeah - Tumblr Blog

i have NOT been getting enough attention to survive but talking to strangers is maybe the most horrifying thing in the world so! lets lay down on the sidewalk and eat a leaf

yesbpdbabe-deactivated20210115

one of the biggest struggles of being borderline, at least in my experience, is that i hate the idea of using my disorder as an excuse.

i don’t think that a lot of people realize that having a personality disorder means that EVERYTHING i do is because of that disorder. every emotion and behavior comes from it, and i have to actively correct and change my responses and cognitions regularly to keep myself in line.

so it’s hard, because you spend your whole life trying to function normally, because you CAN if you really really try. and people are okay with you having bpd, until you actually present a symptom. but if i get irrationally angry, i can’t say “it’s because i have bpd,” because it will come off as an excuse, even though that’s honestly why. i don’t KNOW why i’m so upset about this, i don’t KNOW why my mood dropped so quickly or why i want to die on days when nothing bad has happened. the only response is because i’m borderline.

but it’s just an excuse, or people think it’s a crutch, and so you have this diagnosis that explains everything about you, but you can’t use it to explain why you do things. not the way that you can explain that you’re sneezing so much because you have a cold, or you can’t eat ice cream because you’re lactose intolerant. those actions or avoidances are because of health problems that people are okay with. you explain that this is why you are doing or not doing something, and they’re grateful to have an explanation. but it’s not like that for us. we suffer in silence so we aren’t seen as manipulative or just unwilling to change. and it isn’t fair.

my-rainy-dayss

I hope I just die soon because I don’t think I can take this much longer…

anxietyproblem

honigimohr

but ur so woah and im so oh

puralize-blog

you don’t understand how hard it is to take a selfie when you’re ugly

Scream ( 2015 )

x

Beatrice Leidi

children must wear seatbelts unless you put 50 of them on a school bus

drferox

‘Temporary’ Names

Vet clinics often have litters of kittens to raise. Either they’re too young for a shelter, too sickly, or the clinic intends to adopt them out when they’re big enough. Whatever the reason, nurses often end up raising kittens and giving them ‘temporary’ names.

The intention of these temporary names is that if you give the kitten a stupid name, you have something to call it other than ‘the middle black male’, but because it’s a stupid name you wont get emotionally attached and end up keeping it. Again.

Which is how some nurses end up with cats that have names like ‘Flea bus’ and ‘Trash bag’.

drferox

Folks, I succumbed.

I ended up keeping Trash Bag.

He’s growing fast.

And getting into trouble

Happy post number 2500!

zooophagous

Tell Trashbag I love him

lenacraft

We love you Trashbag

drferox

Trash Bag chose Charmander.

crystallineaffluence

I love this

justcallmeaphrabehn

This is my cat Fork

captainamericacrunch

that cat looks like he knows his name is fork

wont-time-love-us

Modern heartbreak is “read at 9:13 p.m.” when it’s 9:40. it’s unliked photos, it’s blocking and unblocking and blocking and unblocking. modern heartbreak is sick with being watched, it’s breakups playing out on twitter feeds, it’s unfollowed unfollowed unfollowed. it’s a broken jaw, it’s screenshotted photos that shouldn’t have been saved, it’s screenshotted texts meant for one person only. it’s seeing your ex lover with their new one, watching their lives playing out like yours didn’t, it’s phones thrown into bedroom walls when their profile changes from single to in a relationship. it’s snapchat stories to make that one person jealous because it feels like without them you’re nothing, it’s that one story expiring before they see it because they don’t give a fuck about you now and you know it, it’s deleting their contact info but wanting it tattooed on the back of your hand in case you ever want to call, it’s messy it’s messy it’s messy it’s so fucking messy because everyone fucking sees it and it never goes away.