Have realized that one reason I love Dostoevsky is how often his characters have to Do Things while sick? One of the main antagonists in C&P is Raskolnikov’s inability to think straight or stay upright for long periods of time. I love that. I’ve been reading a lot of T/M/A sickfic (w-well, Jon sickfic, let’s not overgeneralize), but much of what I’ve found leaves me w/ an itch unscratched,* and, I think that’s what it is.
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past me was so right holy crap this post slaps
Just–does it scare you guys, how in T/M/A canon when Jon goes right back to work after an injury he gets away with it? How he never learns his lesson, nothing bad enough ever happens to him to make him stop doing that? ... I am constantly hungry for art that lives with that fear, that stares at it, rather than trying to paper over it with stories about bodily suffering as an aberration that suspends the normal rules. ... [In] real life, pushing yourself till you shatter into pieces and your boyfriend (or friend, or coworker) puts them back together isn’t how you learn to take better care of yourself. Like? I’m not saying real life is “all h, no c”; it isn’t. Nor am I saying no one’s ever gonna drive you to the hospital if you come into work with a 104-degree fever; of course they will. I’m saying that a lot of the time, in real life you push and push and push and never shatter. You come in with a 101-degree fever, and it’s really fucking boring because you can’t concentrate, but no one notices you’re ill until you tell them, at which point they ask once, maybe twice if you shouldn’t be at home, and then change the subject for fear you’ll think they’re judging you. Whatever milestone you tell yourself you have to hit before you can stop? Either you’ll endure countless unanticipated miseries on the way but never find it, or you’ll pass it and think, “Huh, that’s weird–I don’t even feel that bad. Guess I’ll go another mile.”
is it tacky to quote your old text posts? oh well. past me was right and he should say it again
