I’m going to disagree with one point up there. Wet wipes (the unscented kind) are AMAZING. It’s not that you’re OMG DIRTY if you don’t use them, it’s that when things get messy one or two can make a significant difference in personal comfort when a shower isn’t an option. Angrily stomping around with bloodstained thighs is OK if that’s what you want to do, but that’s not a choice I tend to prefer, and there are options now! Flushable wet wipes were not widely available until the mid-late 2000s I think; my generation did not grow up with them. It was baby wipes, wet TP/paper towels, or nothing.
Also people’s sensitivity level to scents & stuff differs; some people are totally OK with all sorts of stuff including some fairly vigorous soaps and some people get irritation from just looking at the wrong kind of menstrual pad.
Yes, you can be allergic to spermicide. ASK ME HOW I KNOW.
Pain and itching in the vulva area are not things you should feel as though you have to put up with. It might be a yeast infection! It might be some other sort of infection! It might be a poor choice of new laundry soap! A lot of irritations of the vulva area can be cured or treated.
Numbing creams aren’t a substitute for Actual Health Care, but hot damn they can make things more bearable while the antifungals or antibiotics or whatever kick in.
I have been a cashier. Menstrual products are *so* not on the radar. That person with the 14 poorly organized coupons holding up the long line, the person with the purchase order or the print-on-it-at-the-register check and the huge cart of baking supplies, the condescending asshole in a super hurry who can’t beliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieve that someone could fumble a simple key sequence while being sniped at for not checking out fast enough, the gross raw chicken juice someone dripped all over my nice clean belt literally 30 seconds after I sanitized it, and the agonizing pain in my feet and how badly I have to pee and/or change my own tampon – are all much more of a concern than someone buying menstrual products.
Exception: the dude who is handling the single cheapest box of pads as if it were a dead whale about to explode – ostentatious performative disgust at something that challenges your masculine identity is notable, and risible. Also the cheap pads are often terrible and are bad value for the money.
Exception to the exception: the nervous dude who is buying several varieties of menstrual supply because you clearly have no idea which is appropriate, and you’re obviously trying to get it right because it’s important and you care: good man. Have a cookie, and hang in there. It doesn’t make you a superhero, it makes you an ordinary decent person.
It’s good to get in the habit of carrying your preferred menstrual supplies at all times even if not currently menstruating – even if you’re not caught short someone else might be.
I don’t care if someone is the weirdest freak in the school, if they ask to borrow menstrual supplies and you have some to spare, do it. Unless they’re some sort of war criminal, in which case all bets are off. (P.S. crimes against fashion are not the same as war crimes.)
If you know that you get cramps that need medication, carry your preferred painkiller with the other menstrual gear.
Don’t be a hero and decide you’re going to tough out the cramps without painkillers this time because “you should be stronger than that” or “pain means you’re not in touch with your inner goddess” or whatever fantastic bullshit. It is literally a ball of muscle inside your abdomen doing gymnastics in order to shove blood and gunk out of you, and it gets charley horses. Take whatever you’re taking at the first sign of cramps, so they don’t get worse.
Also be sensible about medication, if you find you’re using over the counter pain medication in a way that the label says could hurt you or you should talk to your doctor, talk to your doctor. Bleeding ulcers and/or liver failure are serious business and you want to avoid that.
The “but menstruation is normal and natural and it shouldn’t be medicalized or called badly designed” crowd needs to stay in their lane when someone has menstrual symptoms that would be debilitating even in a society that honored and respected menstruation. Throwing up or passing out from pain is some bad design and deserves medical attention.
Smegma. It affects mammals who have genitals!
It’s sad but common that some doctors don’t take menstrual-related symptoms seriously. If yours is pulling any of that bullshit on you, consider your options for how to get heard, taken seriously, and treated effectively. This may mean asking uncomfortable questions like “How many times should I be throwing up because of the pain during each day of my cycle?” and “Is a golf ball sized blood clot normal? Would you like to see one right now?!”, looking for another doctor, and/or filing a complaint with whatever authorities are in charge of your doctor.
“If you lost weight this wouldn’t be a problem” is some grade-A bullshit. First, OFTEN IT’S SOMETHING ELSE. Second, losing weight takes time and effort even if it’s something you want to/are physically capable of doing, and in the meantime you still have this thing going on, and it’s a problem NOW. This is the body you have, not the body your doctor wishes you had two years from now. Third, POLYCYSTIC OVARIAN SYNDROME, AND PLEASE ALLOW ME TO PRESENT THIS FINE KICK IN THE GENITALS TO A SERIES OF BULLSHIT DOCTORS.
Blood stains don’t automatically mean the underwear should be never worn again and must be thrown out. It’s your underwear. Are you OK with some blood stains? Yes? Then keep them.
Horribly bloodstained cotton underwear, a soft cotton washcloth folded in thirds, and a sewing needle with some nice sturdy thread are a great beginner project in DIY overnight-friendly cloth menstrual pads. Just stitch the washcloth to the underwear! (I don’t recommend wearing these out of the house unless you know exactly how much you’re likely to bleed b/c you can’t replace a sewn-on pad if it starts to get soaked.)
Menstrual-related technology is advancing all the time. If the people who are in charge of teaching about what to do about it were last trained in the early 1980s, they’re probably missing out on a few key developments. See above about wet wipes.
It’s a lot easier to put the complicated pads with the wings on the underwear before you’re wearing the underwear than after putting the underwear on yourself.
Packaging and familiarity matter in this time of need. A winged pad with two separate peel-offs is not the same as a winged pad with one peel-off on both wings. Cardboard applicator? Plastic applicator? No applicator? Whatever you like best. Experiment, sometime when it’s not urgent.
Keep a little basket of menstrual supplies in the bathroom along with any other dispensers for commonly used toiletries. It’s helpful and welcoming for your guests.
The Silicon Valley tech company which had well-stocked stacks of tampons and pads in all the women’s bathrooms is doing perks correctly. It’s one less thing to worry about, even if it’s not the brand I prefer.
Period zits ON THE LABIA, WHAT THE HELL MAN, THAT’S JUST NOT FAIR. D: D: D:
Menstruation is a normal and natural part of having a standard-issue uterus. If you have a partner who can’t handle things like “mentioning you have a period” and “seeing your menstrual supplies in the bathroom”, your uterus is generally not the problem. Your partner has a problem. And on occasion that problem is dysphoria and if that’s the case I’m so sorry and all my good vibes and support.
Detachable shower heads. DETACHABLE SHOWER HEADS. Even if your area is in a drought and it would be inappropriate and irresponsible to use them for *ahem* recreational purposes *ahem* they’re super useful for directly hosing off your bits if they’re covered in blood and chunks of uterine lining.
It’s okay if you’re not sure that the “womanhood” thing is really for you. The transgender, genderqueer, gender non-compliant, gender anarchist, and similar communities often have members who like answering questions and sometimes started out at “what the fuck why did I get a uterus :( :( :(” too.
