baseball players in the 20s were all named shit like Dipsy Doodle and Crunch Johnson
#they named them like cats in a shelter

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Not today Justin
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shark vs the universe

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@heynogman
baseball players in the 20s were all named shit like Dipsy Doodle and Crunch Johnson
#they named them like cats in a shelter
love the word fruitless. arguing with you is like if there was no apples involved whatsoever
you're bountiless you stupid bitch
Knock knock
Who’s there?
Ahhhhhhhhhhh
Ahhhhhhhhhhh, who?
Werewolves of London
You gotta be really publicly passionate about things if you want your friends to text you. Bc people will forget to text you because they’re human. But if you’re really openly the friend who loves identifying ants your friends will think of you when they see ants. And they’ll text you “what ant is this [blurry photo]”. And then they’ll ask you how you’ve been and we should get coffee sometime. But if they don’t know what you love they’ll never know what you like
And then when the ant convention is in town they’ll be like dude… we should go to the ant convention. But they would never think to go if they didn’t know u loved ants
And sometimes you need to ask them to go to the ant convention. But you Will not get anywhere hiding your passions
Upstairs Kevin Is Actually For Real The World's Most Perfect Betta Fish
So for those of you not familiar with my recent descent into fishkeeping, about 2 months ago a friend of mine who does Hazardous Waste cleanup (specifically cleaning up hazardous places like meth labs) called me up and asked:
"You have fish, right?"
"...Why?" I asked, having become aware that the Fish Distribution System is even more aggressive than the cat one.
"I found a fish in the back of an abandoned trap house. Alive." She clarified.
I could feel my fate settling upon my soul.
"...Send me a pic so I can ID the species and I'll see what I can do."
She sent me a picture of a small purplish squiggle in six inches of fetid green muck. But when I arrived to collect the sludge creature he turned out to look like this:
He's difficult to photograph in focus, but he's a deep wine-dark creature with an iridescent blue sheen. The red patches on his fins mirror where the fins of a Plakat/wild Betta splendens would be, and the rest of his fins are a ghostly shimmering white. This fish was in six inches of toxic green shit.
Naturally, he needed the finest tank I could put together that afternoon.
I think I did alright.
He's so fucking cute. He always swims up to watch when anyone approaches. I've got him trained to do a little dance when I feed him. He likes watching me doing anything in front of his tank.
That's all actually pretty typical of Bettas- they're very intelligent and curious creatures and like learning, which is more than I can say for some of my relatives.
Where Upstairs Kevin (so named because his tank is in my upstairs bathroom) really shines is that a lot of Bettas are... Not sociable. They often eat shrimp, attack other fish in their tank (or get stressed out of they can't commit enough violence to maintain their personal space) or constantly harass and nip the snails in their tanks. Most Bettas are genuinely happier being alone.
Kevin fucking loves his snail (Bluebert) and will shimmy as fast as he can over whenever Bluebert falls off something (it's fine, this is a normal way for mystery snails to get from one place to another).
When I had my Nego D'Aguas in the holding tank, I had to put three of the smallest ones in with him because they were being harassed in the small tank, and he was a perfect gentleman with them. He was trying very hard to shoal with them, but they're very zippy. He was visibly upset (lethargic, dulled colors) when I moved them back to the big tank.
Today was the real acid test: I'm going to move him from his 5 gallon to the 10 gallon so I can use the 5 as a hospital/spare plants tank, and I needed to know if I could have shrimp in with him. Even Betta that are cool with other fish can still see a shrimp and decide they're at the buffet. Unfortunately, there's no real way to know without putting shrimp in with the Betta.
So earlier today, I got half a dozen super-discounted Rilli shrimp (LFS has a massive overstock of them for some reason) and added them to his 5 gallon. There are a bunch of hiding places for shrimp in there and if he was aggressive with them I'd move him to the 10 gallon immediately (I don't want to do that just yet because I need to move the furniture around in there a bit).
Friends.
The shrimp are fully swimming in the open and Kevin is just following them around, curious, but only curious. No gill-flaring, no posturing, no lunges or snapping. Some of them are red, a color that normally triggers aggression in Bettas, and he's just. Hanging out, watching them eat biofilm off the moss. One of them accidentally landed on his head and stayed there for 3 seconds and he only went "???" Until it took off again.
My beautiful and perfect and son who is so kind and gentle with his tiny friends.
Pictures that are paintings, to me:
They're both so curious about each other.
(Kitty Fishtank Time is closely supervised and the room is closed off when we're not there. The tank also has a heavy glass lid that covers the whole tank and has anti-kitty safety clips)
Reminds me of my betta! He likes to sit and watch the shrimp the same way I sit and watch the tank. They don't seem to mind, either.
You can also just barely see one of my neon tetras at the top, he's not interested in them like yours is but he'll generally chill in the same area of the tank (and it's a 40 gallon so he has plenty of space to avoid them if he wants to)
LMAO THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT HE DOES. I haven't been able to get a good pic of it because the shrimp are still skittish and nyoom away if my phone gets too close to the tank but like. He watches the shrimp the same way I watch him and I hope it gives him a sense of joy and wonder as well.
These are all moderate positions.
This is a fucking new one
any time i feel instinctive discomfort or irritation at somebody doing something i find weird but is truly harmless, i legit say to myself “it’s hard getting by in this world, what is your problem with somebody who found a way to make it easier for themselves?” like i had a full turnaround on so many infamously cringe subcultures because of it because i don’t see it that way anymore. it’s not cringe, it’s somebody making this bitch of a life more bearable.
it’s kind of inspiring because when i look at the world through that lens instead of the jaded and cynical lens of judgement, i see much more joy and community and love between people. i experience more and more of an indomitable human spirit that’s endured over hundreds of years of suffering. there’s something in humans that cannot be taken away, no matter how much evildoers try, and as long as we keep trying to quietly build it.
Quilt guild president: the summer quilt challenge. As you know it is the 250th anniversary-
Guild: -chilly silence-
President: so the challenge to you all is a quilt with your interpretation and/or feelings towards our current “democracy”
Guild: 👏👏👏
President: I know this bunch. I am sure you will come up with something spectacular, and it will probably get angrier as the summer progresses. Full quilt, mini quilt. Go wild, release some emotions.
How I spent my July 4th.
Appliqué almost done. Then onward to the background stitching
At the start I thought stitching “fuck you I won’t do what you tell me” for the last quarter would be therapeutic
I was correct.
Close to finishing the top. Now I gotta figure out how I want to quilt it.
I have one more line of embroidery and I think it needs to be bolder and messier than I started it.
Hard to tell in this light, and without ironing it, that the embroidery does get gradually bolder as it goes. Two strands at the top versus 5 at the bottom (6 for the started to be redone final line).
Not bad for first time doing appliqué.
Still need to decide how I want to quilt it.
The Orphans From Annie Teach You… How to Navigate Menopause
This just pissed me off so baaaad 😂
it irritates me to no end when people say north american birds are dull in comparison to other countries’ birds
blue jay
american kestrel
painted bunting
yellow-throated vireo
cerulean warbler
baltimore oriole
american goldfinch
northern cardinal
x
You’re forgetting the red wing black bird and the great and snowy egret. Best birds of the marsh!
other beautiful featherbeasts include orb bird
stylish accessory bird
loud and delicious bird
bird that will kung fu your face while you are grilling in your backyard
overly dramatic fishwizard bird
demonic creepy noise duck
assorted sky-cats
screaming inflatable doofus bird
stump
not technically native but it poops on my lawn
toasted marshmallow friend
How.. could you forget… MEEP… MEEP
One of my favorite North American birds is the Californian Mountain Chickadee.
This pudgy little bastard has a call that sounds like “Cheeseburger”.
[Listen]
some nice kids, thanks @fozmeadows
Surprised no one has yet included nature’s goth blue jay, the Stellar Jay.
Adding some pacific northwest birds since I see them regularly and I love them to death:
Western tanager
Violet-green swallow
Anna’s hummingbird
Varied thrush (aka twin peaks intro bird)
what about the swooper
And the musical little fellow that you hear all the time and don’t even realize
you really do turn thirty and everything is different and sometimes better. if you're in line for thirty stay in line bro
These wonderful people have a single braincell to share but unfortunately none of them are using it
the chimney swift is a medium-sized member of the swift family primarily found in the southeastern united states + northern south america. at one point, these birds used hollow trees to nest; today, they are almost entirely found using man-made structures, primarily chimneys, which is how they get their name. like other swifts, they are unable to perch, but can vertically cling to surfaces. if groups of chimney swifts are disturbed, they may loudly clap their wings in an attempt to scare off predators. these birds live much of their lives in the air, and only feed on insects and arthropods caught in flight.
I am genuinely so fucking stupid. I was reading this book where a bunch of people have to pass a logic puzzle in order to survive, and I was like "why are they all dying?? the answer is obviously the third goblet from the left!" yeah.....that was not the answer. I would've died in this book, and I would've been SO publicly smug before I did. like giving people the finger, smirking, etc. this sucks.