Crouching Tiger, Hidden Duckie. >:|

I'm weeb trash tunes

[sandgthesequal]

More derpy in the next movie pls and thank you :)

[userfish]

this pride month we’re all going to be radically pro transgender. or else.

[userfish]

hey so this means radically pro ALL transgender. don’t put limitations on this. all trans people are radically accepted here.

[ororium-z]

Happy Pride!

[rootbeergoddess]

Every pride, you must reblog this. No exceptions

[thesaltofcarthage]

I love that four different people on my feed scheduled this joyous person to reblog by 8am on June 1. I look forward to seeing this a dozen more times today.

[depsidase]

[nealashitposts]

So I've got this friend whose nervous because she's trans and dating this guy who she hasn't told yet because they've only been on a two dates. For this story let's call the friend Jane and the guy she was dating Jason. Happy ending don't worry.

So I tell Jane to bring her boy over to a bbq I'm having and she can tell him she's trans at my place surrounded by queer and trans people who love her and will support her if he ends up being awful.

She waits till the end of the bbq to tell him the news, by which point the rest of us have learned that Jason is a kind, friendly, empathetic, hard working, dummy. So we sit down, all of us a little worried about this gym bro's reaction when she tells him she's trans, and that she understands if he doesn't want to keep dating her it's no big deal.

He's baffled, so we explain what trans is, and after the disclosure that she hasn't had bottom surgery yet...

"Oh you have a dick?"

"... yeah."

He look's around at the room full of people with baited breath, his clearly a little afraid girl friend says

"Oooohhhh! I get it! You think- don't worry Babe! Watch this!"

And ya'll this man jumps up, runs into the kitchen and returns with one of the bratwurst we had for grilling and proceeds to tilt his head back, put it down his throat, hold it in his mouth for a moment, and spit it up without even a whisper of a gag and then looks around at the group absolutely beaming with pride.

My mans saw his worried girlfriend and her support network and thought to him self "Oh they don't think I can't please my girl, but I'll show them!"

[nealashitposts]

I do feel the need to add that later he excitedly tell the group that as a straight guy, he never thought that skill would be useful outside hotdog eating contests.

[hyperrbolic-orange]

"Man its too bad that im straight since I've got like no gag reflex and all."

"Honey, I must tell you, i am in fact trans and I have not had bottom surgery."

"My god... everything's coming up Jason."

[dancinbutterfly]

Pure of heart dumb of ass hetero of sexual

[deathstars]

so much could have been improved in the sequels if kylo ren hadn’t been force sensitive

[deathstars]

no wait think about it. kylo ren not being force sensitive, but so desperate to be so he’s willing to do anything. he feels cheated out of his grand destiny, his powers that his mother and uncle (and cousin?) have. give me the story on the entitlement towards the force. it would have shown that the force is beyond biological, it always has been. it would have given a better reason for kylo ren to “fall to the dark side”, so desperate for a connection to the force that he plays the part of a dark sider, swinging a cracking red lightsaber around with no finesse or training, killing hoping that it will push him further into a dark side of the force he cannot feel. it would have given a reason for him to hate han; that because han isn’t force sensitive, it’s his fault that kylo isn’t either. kylo’s character would have been stronger because his choices would have been his own, instead of whatever whisper dream manipulations they were in canon. his evil has nothing to do with the force, but an entitled man trying to claim a power he believes is his by birthright.

this would have foiled perfectly with finn, too- one is a child born to the most powerful force sensitives in the galaxy who cannot feel the force. and finn is a child who was taken from his family, forced into soldier-hood, who feels such a deep and powerful connection to himself and the force that he breaks free. kylo ren, seething and entitled trying to claim a destiny and power that just aren’t his, and finn, who has suffered at kylo’s actions and still connected to the powerful light inside of him. the “nobody” hero of the sequels who has the power of the force and the legacy-born villain who doesn’t.

[catchymemes]

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

honestly I'm very grateful that I got involved in queer community organizing basically as soon as I turned 18, because that's how I was exposed to other queer people saying things like "I just wouldn't trust a bisexual" and "I don't believe in that privilege stuff" and "I don't like when people act like you have to be a feminist if you're gay," all of which taught me at a very young age the crucial truth that queer people can be very stupid and very wrong

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

I think there's a pervasive tendency among very young baby queers to get kind of dazzled by being among other gay people for the first time and that combined with the heady drug of the first taste of independence can really make you start thinking of The Queer Community(TM) like it's one big enlightened rainbow utopia but unfortunately we have dipshits and malevolent freaks like every other demographic. Peter Thiel is in here.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

my condolences to the people learning that Peter Thiel is gay from this post

[ms-demeanor]

That poor pest control guy did not know what he was getting into, but given the state of my yard i feel like he should have known what he was getting into.

[ms-demeanor]

He was going door to door offering to spray the base of the house for pests for a discount rate because one of our neighbors signed up for pest control and he walked down my driveway (covered in spiderwebs), up onto my front porch (covered in spiderwebs), and knocked on my door (covered in spiderwebs) and said "hi, I'm John from the bug company, would you be interested in a discount service because it seems like you may have a spider problem."

And I said, "oh, no, I'm sorry, I won't be spraying for spiders, I like them. I want to encourage them."

And he gave me kind of a weird look and was like "why?" And I was honest and said that they were my pest control, they take care of my mosquitoes and and and flies, and then I kind of laughed and said that I should stop because I know way too much about spiders and if he let me go I'd talk his ear off.

And then he made his fatal mistake and asked what I knew about spiders, and if I knew what kinds of webs he'd walked past to get on the porch and what spiders were in my yard.

So then he got to hear my thoughts on brown vs black widows and why I wished there were as many black widows as there used to be but I had a big beautiful one under my patio table right now and even if I prefer black widows because they aren't invasive the same way that brown widows are i still like the brown widows and i had a lovely one who lived in my patio chair from August until the firestorm in January and she was so good and kept eating cockroaches and had made five big egg sacks and how I was so proud of her and I used to have a lot more orb weavers but their numbers never recovered after the tropical storm last year but I had a cute one on the shed that I took a picture of yesterday and of course there are tons of wolf spiders and jumping spiders and cellar spiders if you wanted to count them too and some false widows but I hadn't seen any of them this year and, well, yeah, anyway they're not actually dangerous mostly and widows want nothing to do with you but a bite wasn't pleasant but much better than a recluse bite but I almost never see recluses around here but i wouldn't, would I, because they're not called brown gregarious spiders, oh and there are black footed yellow sack spiders around and you don't want those to bite you but their little toes are so cute and I'm sorry, sorry, sorry like I said I can go off about spiders, but also I don't want to spray because I've got so many pollinators, I've got a whole wisteria vine full of carpenter bees, actually i saw a male valley carpenter bee last week, did you know they're golden and fuzzy? He was so cool! But, yes, sorry, I won't be spraying but thank you for asking, and I'm sorry I was the crazy spider lady at you!

[ms-demeanor]

Extremely adorable fuzzy little creature:

A large friend:

Look, this is basically a kitten:

A goth icon.

Strong, independent women that I don't want to fuck with.

They are delightful and they eat actual pests, I love them.

[gallusrostromegalus]

I had almost this exact conversation with the door-to-door pest control guy last summer, but about the wasps. He was outright confused when I told him that not only was he not welcome in my yard, I'd just put out some fried chicken crumbs for my paper wasps to make sure they built their hives on my property because nothing in his truck made better crop pest control than a hungry nest of Red Paper Wasps, except maybe Ichneumons but have to get rid of the lawn before those will move in-

"Red Paper wasps? Those are very dangerous! They're very aggressive!" he sputters.

"Really? They seem to be quite placid." I indicated the Fine-backed Red Paper Wasp nest about 16 inches above his head under the eaves.

He stared.

I picked up a crumb of KFC from the porch shelf with my finger and held it up. One of the ladies investigated, then landed and sat on my finger and munched happily for a few seconds before returning to the nest.

"Would you like to see the common paper wasps? They've got a great nest going on the side of the garage."

"I'm. I'm good." He said, and left.

[ms-demeanor]

Update:

Another pest control guy showed up and knocked on the door and mentioned that he does bug spraying and I just straight up said "oh i'm the crazy spider lady, I like the bugs, that's why I don't mow."

And he said "Well, do you have any rats or other rodents you need handled?"

And I said "No, we have a barn owl living out back. You should see my collection of rat skulls. Do you want an owl pellet?"

He did not want an owl pellet :(

[brainstreams]

[thatrandombystander]

The Kingdom Hearts 2FM secret ending is the greatest four minute sequence in the franchise. She had everything. A cool action sequence, mysterious new characters, fuel for absolutely insane speculation, an incomparable musical composition by Yoko Shimomura, and of course.

Mickey Mouse appearing at the end to make the video impossible to show to regular people

[dramatic-dolphin]

every day ao3 authors weave more and more fascinating concepts i could never come up with in a million years

[flamingenchiladadragon]

[ryebreadgf]

the sexiest thing a woman can be is a cringe fujoshi with a very serious day job

[femmefaramir]

older lotr illustrations sometimes depict éowyn wearing ridiculously small armour. apart from the problem general sexualisation of the only female character (who really does anything), there’s another hilarious thought:

éowyn pretended to be dernhelm, a man. to fit in, she must have worn men’s armor. so the armor in the illustrations is normal for rohirrim.

therefore, all the rohirrim rode to war just like that:

[hobbit-hole]

there’s a thundering sound in the distance as the rohirrim ride into war but rather than hoofbeats it’s the collective sound of all their cheeks clapping

[delicatelytoobear]

the artist for this particular piece is Frank Frazetta and to be fair to him this is how he drew the orcs armor 

so the rohirrim comment is probably not that far off

[adhd-trash-mammal]

That’s a man who just straight up had a problem with the concept of wearing pants into battle, and I respect that

[cumaeansibyl]

male or female

hero or villain

sea or land

even in the snow

I guarantee you Frazetta’s Rohirrim were 100% pants-free

[missmollyetc]

Good Old Frank. That man loved bodies and hated clothes so much

[thebyrchentwigges]

[trist-pkmngal]

Frank Frazetta was the reason He-Man was designed like that; the producers conduct a study to see what art appeal the most to children, and Frank’s work came out on top in popularity. So everyone in He-Man is dressed the way they are directly because of Frazetta.

[snugglebunchesofeyes]

That man gave us the gift of warrior thighs and tits for everyone.

[olderthannetfic]

Ah, it has been too long since I have seen the no pants post on my dash. And yes, this is a rare case where it wasn’t some sexist nonsense but an egalitarian No Pants Agenda.

[olderthannetfic]

It’s time for my regular reblog of Gondor Needs No Pants

[asteroidtroglodyte]

Frank Frazetta - Wikipedia

Frank Frazetta - Wikipedia

“I am definitely an ass man. It blows my mind. Talk about simple shapes. Two very simplistic curves. It’s so dumb, but they are fascinating as hell. It’s more than that. It’s the way the rest of the anatomy ties into that area — incredible beauty”

- Frank “godfather of fantasy art” Frazetta

[systemic-dreams]

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

the other thing about Internet dogpiling is that it is just not possible to think clearly during the acute stages. it’s so easy to criticize people for responding defensively or tactlessly to mass criticism but I cannot overstate the degree to which your brain becomes a rat in a trap. I think we do have to temporarily recalibrate our expectations in these circumstances and accept that they do not necessarily represent how that person responds to criticism. the skills for self-regulating and reacting to normal interpersonal criticism are not the same skills needed to respond to viral callouts.

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

as other people have pointed out:

for most of human history, if a bunch of people are really mad at you specifically all at once, it means you’re about to die badly. obviously that’s not the case with internet controversy (…usually) but our nervous systems don’t know that. I just think that’s a variable we have to consider inherent to the circumstances rather than an aberration.

[theoutcastrogue]

Congress Is Considering Abolishing Your Right to Be Anonymous Online

The bipartisan push to remove anonymity from the internet is ushering in an era of unprecedented mass surveillance and censorship.

"The problem is that there’s no way to reliably verify someone’s age without verifying who they are. A platform cannot magically discern that a user is 16 without collecting identifying information, whether through government documents such as a passport, payment information like a credit card, or other identity-disclosing data. Whether that data is stored by the platform itself or outsourced to a vendor, the result is always the same: A user’s offline identity is forever linked with their online behavior.

Stripping anonymity from the internet would constitute one of the most sweeping rollbacks of civil rights in recent history. It would allow for unprecedented levels of mass surveillance and censorship, endangering the most marginalized members of society. Whistleblowers exposing corporate wrongdoing could be tracked and fired, government employees speaking out about illegal behavior or bad policies could face prosecution, and activists organizing protests could be identified and surveilled before ever setting foot on the street."

[softness-and-shattering]

And this is exactly the kind of thing US lawmakers will decide for US citizens, and it will effect everyone who uses the internet globally. Already any kind of age verification amounts to "hand over your government identification to a private US corporation".

I dont know what solutions might be on a broader scale, but its absurd for one country to have this much power and for their private corporations to be handed this amount of authority from literally world governments demanding "safety for children". This power structure is absurd.

Yall USians have got to shut down all this bullshit, youre the ones who vote these people in and out. Theyre not gonna give a shit what foreigners have to say.