we are hodge podge! (a soup eaten in the maritime provinces of canada during the summertime)
posts will be tagged with who they're from and/or for. depending on who's talking, you may see tone indicators like +, /silly, and /TheBit, all of which indicate the same tone.
use your best judgement when talking to us. probably we will forgive you unless you're purposefully being rude. for more guidelines, the plural etiquette questionnaire is below the cut.
Q: What do you go by collectively? (a system name, a shared username, group pronouns... etc)
A: Call us by our individual names and use our individual pronouns. If you're talking about all of us collectively, we're Hodge Podge, and use any pronouns. Alternatively, if you know one of our names, you can pluralize that (eg. Soups, Creeds, etc) and use it as a collective name.
Q: How should people refer to you? (should people address individual members whenever possible, or would you rather be referred to collectively, etc)
A: If you mean one of us specifically, mention that one. If you mean all of us, see above. If you're in a public space where we're not out as plural, use the singlet identity we use in that space.
Q: What terms do you prefer for referring to yourselves as individuals (headmate/alter/system member/...), or as a group (system/collective/household/...)? Is there any other terminology for yourselves or aspects of your experience that you use and want people to know, or that you dislike and want people to avoid when talking about you?
A: We usually say "people" to refer to each other, but headmate, alter, and system member are all completely fine, especially for clarity. As far as group nouns, we prefer Hodge Podge (as a name and as a noun) but for clarity you can say system or plural. Twee neologisms (eg. sysblings) can be cute, but ask before you use them to refer to us in public.
Q: Who in your system are people most likely to interact with? (names, pronouns, short Twitter-esque bios, etc)
A: If you're reading this, you probably know Soup (they/she/he/ze) already, and have probably interacted with Grouse (ae/it) and Creed (he/him), maybe without knowing it. You might know Creed by another name, in which case you can call him by that but not in public.
Q: Will people be interacting with any child members? How should they treat them? Is there anything they should know when interacting with them?
A: On the off-chance that Avery talks to you, treat her like a young teenager who's grabbed eir parent's phone. Be kind. Don't pry. Don't take anything personally. You don't have to stop the conversation on her account - most likely, ey're cofronting with one of the adults.
Q: Are there any system members who are nonverbal or otherwise have difficulty communicating? What should others expect when speaking with them? (having other system members translate, can speak normally over text but will need accommodation over voice, etc)
A: Those of us who are disinclined to external communication will most likely step away from any conversation they find themself in. If they want to talk to you, it will be obvious they are not as comfortable with external communication, and they will probably enlist one of the more vocal people to help them express their thoughts. If you want another one of us to pass on a message to one of them, we can.
Q: What should people do if they don't know who's at front?
A: Treat us like you usually do. We don't share who's fronting unless we want you to know, so you usually won't know which one of us is talking. We like it that way.
Q: Is it okay for people to ask if they can talk to someone who isn't at front at the moment?
A: If you ask as if you've called another household's landline looking for your friend and their sibling picked up the phone instead, sure. Politeness will get you far. That might get them to respond, or, more likely, we'll pass along a message. If you're being rude about hoping for a specific person to respond and getting someone else, we're allowed to stop talking to you altogether.
Q: If someone talks to one of you, will other system members be aware of the conversation? Will they be actively watching, or just able to remember it later?
A: Generally they will remember it later, but depending on who you're talking to, other people might be actively watching. If you're talking to Creed, most likely Grouse and Soup aren't far. If you're talking to Grouse, it might just be Grouse and ae will share the memories later.
Q: Adding onto the above – if multiple system members will be aware of a conversation, will they want to chime in? If someone wants to speak to a system member one-on-one, what expectations can they have and how should they communicate this? (for example, it may not be possible to block everyone out but they can try to pay attention to something else and not interrupt)
A: If we're in a space where we're out as plural and the conversation is interesting, you can expect any of us to chime in. If you want to speak to us one-on-one, ask for that, and we'll let you know in the moment how that's going to work (or if it's going to work at all).
Q: How out are you? What should people do when talking to people who don't know you're plural? (do you have a “singletsona” name and pronouns they should use; can they talk about knowing someone who's plural in nonspecific terms, without naming you; etc)
A: Quite closeted, not for fear of judgement or anything, but just for privacy. To those not in the know, talk about us as individuals - you might have been talking to your friend Soup who said this, and then your other friend Grouse said another thing. Don't worry about outing us as plural, but don't intentionally try to out us. If you let something slip, let us know who else knows we're plural.
Q: Do you have any internal communication difficulties, memory issues, switch triggers, etc that others should be mindful of?
A: We have a lot of different opinions, often contradictory. Don't be surprised if we express our differing opinions. We might misremember something you told us. Generally we prefer to communicate by non-disappearing, searchable text messaging for this reason.
Q: Your stance on being asked questions? (about personal experience, preferences, plurality in general, etc)
A: You can ask, and we're allowed to not answer. If you wouldn't ask someone in person with whom you're comparatively close, don't ask us. (eg. if we're aquaintences, don't ask us something you wouldn't ask an aquaintence in real life. If we're close friends, you can ask anything you'd ask a close friend in real life)
Q: Is there anything else others should know?
A: You have to be conscious of race in your politics and worldview or we kill you. Our experience is not the same as a white system. Our white system members do not get access to white privilege the way bodily white people do. An alter of a different internal skin colour to the body does not have the lived experience of being assigned that race in the shared reality. You live in a culture, you're raised within an ethnic group or groups, and you're assigned a race by the people around you. You cannot identify as a race.
