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macklin celebrini has autism
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@hollow-knights
gabriel may, my beloved ♥️
If you recognize these frames you get a gold star
whatever go my gabe
Personally I find the distinction between apathy, derealization and depersonalisation rather difficult. They flow into each other seamlessly.
Does anyone else have mild psychotic and mood symptoms but not enough to feel valid?
I get paranoid and have unusual perceptual experiences, but not hallucinations. I withdraw from time to time but I'm still sociable. I get restless and sometimes make risky decisions but I always rein myself in. I might sleep for 13 hours and hardly manage the bare minimum for months but I'm still kind of okay. I talk to myself almost all day to keep myself company but only in whispers when no one is listening. I get weird thoughts and think in strange loops and paradoxes for hours straight but I am always aware that it's all nonsense.
Therapists tell me how self-aware I am. Friends consider me the voice of reason. I'm playing a role that doesn't fit my internal reality. And I wish I could just do something crazy to show people I'm not normal.
Of course I won't. I don't mean doing anything dangerous or harmful. For example, I have been open a few times about my bizarre thoughts with my friends. But I don't want people to stop trusting me, or impose their will on me because they think I can't make decisions for myself. So I end up managing on my own, internalising it all, with no one to compare myself to in order to know how normal my experiences even are.
Derealization Signs & Autism
Derealization is always something that confused us a lot. We were always seemingly unaware when it happened since we thought it was normal, but mostly because we only say people constantly describing it in the same way: "It's like the world is not real."
But, because we are autistic, this was not the way we needed to hear it, so we brushed it off as something we didn't do.
So, here are some signs that you are derealizing written in ways that would have helped us out better:
You know it's real and you feel connected to your body, but the world looks foggy, like you're looking through glass.
Objects look normal but do not feel "right" in some way.
Colors feel too sharp or dull.
Sounds are different in some way (i.e., too loud, muffled, disorienting, echo, etc).
Touch feels delayed, or like you are feeling things through gloves.
The world feels unfamiliar, like you're in a deja vu state instead of in a place you are in a lot.
Lights feel unfamiliar (I.e., too bright, or dull in some way).
Emotional reactions can be delayed, even when you are happy, but it is as if your reaction arrives late.
Time feels different, like it's too slow or too fast.
Also, keep in mind, some of these could be summed up to sensory problems, but derealization is not a sensory issue. Instead of feeling overwhelmed or underwhelmed by sensory things, you feel disconnected from them.
You should also keep in mind that autistic brains like to try and solve the experiences they are having, but as ironic as it is, checking your symptoms and scanning yourself mentally can keep you in a state of derealization longer, so be careful!
Derealization is a protective response from your nervous system. Going through this is not a bad thing, it does not make you a failure and you are not broken.
I hope this helped someone :)
Status Effects
"You look tired" im literaly going insane
cya twixxel 🙏
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It is LSOH Day once again >:-)
Shoutout to my tragic theatre kids. My girls born to play Elle Woods who have dark hair. My people destined to be Misha Bachinski who are 5'2". My people who should be analyzing newsies choreo who have face blindness. My Cats fanatics with no flexibility. My girls made to be a Veronica but are forced to be a Martha. Female Audrey II s. Male Janet Weiss's. The wrong range for the right role. You are meant for this character but they weren't designed for you and there's nothing you can do
does it have to be human!?
i feel like i’m cursed forever but other than that i’m doing alright