Caverns of My Mind

[fortitudinis]

[redlipstickresurrected]

John Anster Fitzgerald (British, 1819-1906, b. Lambeth, South London, England, d. London, England) - The Stuff Dreams are Made Of, 1858, Paintings: Oil on Canvas

[inkskinned]

Every day I handle more money than I will ever make. Every day.

At the start of my employment, my boss showed me videos of people stealing, and we both had a chuckle about it. How silly they were! There was a camera overhead, and it’s not to watch the shoppers. See, we can’t actually stop shoplifters. They get away with it maybe nine out of ten times. But we, who are watched and tallied and witnessed? We are always caught.

At first it was hard to hold one hundred dollars bills. An amount I had never seen before. An amount that didn’t exist in my household. It’s normal now. Here is something that is not for me.

“What the hell, I’ll take another,” says the man, pondering our 200 dollar watches. What the hell. Total comes to 580 and not even a flinch in his face. I have been working for 11 hours today and made only 110 dollars. It will go to my rent. Today I work for free, it feels. When I get my check, I will have 35 dollars left for food and saving.

The six hundreds he hands me go into the cash register. For a moment, I imagine having money. Then I put it away, counting out his change.

I know for a fact we sell our products for double what they are worth. That I could be making commission. That they could hand me those 580 dollars and change my life and not even mark the difference in their checkbooks. He’s not the only sale they make today, but I am the reason they made it. He’s not the only one spending 600 dollars, but if I hadn’t spent two hours with him telling me about his life, he wouldn’t have spent any. I go home. I don’t own a watch.

I have watched and rewatched a video on how to make salmon four ways. My shopping list is always the same. Pasta. Rice. Tuna. If I can afford butter it was a good week. I dream of the world I will never walk in, where I can throw the best fish fillet in the cart with a shrug. I hold hundreds in my hand and look up at the camera. I put them under the cash drawer.

I go to work. I scrap together my savings. I eat my bowl of rice slowly. My manager takes a paid week off from work just for his birthday. He owns a yacht. 

I’m not worth the cost of a watch.

[inkskinned]

i wrote this while i was working at orlando’s walt disney world parks.

i was part of their college program. i moved to the state for it. they legally owned the building i was living in and still charged me rent. i ostensibly was being charged to work for them. it was a 2 bedroom apartment and they placed 6 adult women in it in forced triples.

as many as one in ten disney employees have experienced homelessness while working for the company. despite huge efforts to unionize, strike, or otherwise demand fair treatment; disney has refused to increase employee quality of life.

disney admits publicly that a good portion of their success is because the employees (“cast members”) are dedicated, passionate, and selfless. this is never reflected in pay. even “face” characters (ie those that are princesses etc) make barely above a minimum wage.

at the time that i worked there, i made $8.50 an hour. at one point i was asked to create a human shield around a bag because a bomb dog had alerted to it. for eight fucking dollars an hour.

i now work a very cushy office job. i have bought the salmon and cooked it all four ways.

i go to the store. i am nice to the person behind the counter. she looks up at the camera while she counts out my change. there is nothing fundamentally different about her and i.

we are both worth more than the watch, anyway.

[animentality]

[poppyseed-art]

[talonabraxas]

“Our Wish for the End, Me” by Clayshaper

[macrolit]

Marilyn Monroe’s apartment was full of books

[macrolit]

Happy 100th birthday to Marilyn Monroe.

[andwhatexcellentboiledpotatoes]

I am so sick and tired of having to charge stuff every day of my miserable life!! My phone, my watch, my headphones, my vibrator, my backup vibrator, my emergency vibrator, the ancient cursed amulet of darkness that whispers to me....it's too much!!!

[weepingwidar]

Esther Sarto (Danish, 1992) - Long Winter (2021)

[succumbing-song]

[haleth]

just realized ive never posted haleth on the haleth blog.

[captvreme]

[anyboli]

This page from one of my history books looks like a lesbian utopia.

Source: Reclaiming Lost Ground by Neale McGoldrick & Margaret Crocco

[anyboli]

Very similar vibes - this 1899 illustration from Puck of butchy (for the time) lesbians looking like the coolest, hottest women to ever walk the earth

[manicpixiedckgirl]

[theaudientvoid]

There are multiple chapters that are set in hospitals where the characters are attempting to recover from injuries that never fully heal. I must once again stress that my experience in WWI was perfectly normal.

[aro-ace-from-outer-space22]

There is a giant horrible mudplain full of unrecoverable and perfectly preserved dead bodies that the characters have to walk through in a land where the air is poisoned gas, and on a compLETELY UNRELATED NOTE: WWI WAS TOTALLY FINE AND NORMAL!!

[hollowcaverns]

[katphilbin]

“Three Crow Girls Plot the Destruction of the World”

[hollowcaverns]

I really appreciate how the style (intended or not) is comparable to that of the American Girl “taking care of your body” books.

Imagine a 10 year old perusing the book and learning about the fundamentals of pubescent girlhood: developing breasts, menstruating, bonfire crow girl rituals in the woods, pubic hair.

[wingdingle]

attention to all dashcon attendees

someone urinated into the ballpit while it was empty and posted it in the tag

stay out of the ballpit

[wingdingle]

there are people who think this is a joke

this is not a joke

please stay out of the ballpit for the safety of your health

[defunctblog1]

Ancient scribes detailing horrible events

[thetyrannosaur]

[adastra-sf]

Regular days can produce great art

- Humphrey Carpenter's J.R.R. Tolkien: A Biography

During a couple hours on this particular day, Tolkien took Frodo across the Dead Marshes to the gates of Mordor, then mowed the lawn.

You don't need special conditions to create your best work.

[mckitterick]

"It was approved."

can you imagine a world where they hadn't approved of The Lord of the Rings

[stitchlingbelle]

Also lovely that he wrote about trees that way in his daily life, too.

[kosmogrl]

pears are so underrated… everyone start eating more pears now