Ramona, 2006
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he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

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Ramona, 2006
2006 was 6 years ago =(
#archives
2006 was 13 years ago =(
2006 was 20 years ago =(
older lotr illustrations sometimes depict éowyn wearing ridiculously small armour. apart from the problem general sexualisation of the only female character (who really does anything), there’s another hilarious thought:
éowyn pretended to be dernhelm, a man. to fit in, she must have worn men’s armor. so the armor in the illustrations is normal for rohirrim.
therefore, all the rohirrim rode to war just like that:
there’s a thundering sound in the distance as the rohirrim ride into war but rather than hoofbeats it’s the collective sound of all their cheeks clapping
the artist for this particular piece is Frank Frazetta and to be fair to him this is how he drew the orcs armor
so the rohirrim comment is probably not that far off
That’s a man who just straight up had a problem with the concept of wearing pants into battle, and I respect that
Theoden King, we're trying to ride into battle, but we're dummy thicc, and the clapping of our ass cheeks keeps alerting all the Uruk-hai
"immortality sucks because all your friends die" all your friends die anyway. those we do not mourn are those who mourn us.
"immortality sucks because you forget who you are" we always forget who we are. do you remember who you were at four years of age? who you were at fourteen? "who i am" is a shadow cast on the wall.
"immortality sucks because" skill issue. skill issue. skill issue. give me your liver
how write book?
like that but more
oh noooooo
i must not get takeout. takeout is the wallet-killer. takeout is the little-death that brings total obliteration. i will face the kitchen, fridge, and pantry. i will make choices about what to cook and then execute them. when hunger is gone there will be nothing. only i will remain.
Why didn't Arwen sail to Valinor?
It’s true that other ships sailed after the one that took Elrond, Gandalf, and the others to Valinor. And yeah, one of Arwen’s options was to live with Aragorn until he died and then gone on to join her parents. In fact she wouldn’t be the only elf to do so. There’s a story of an elf maiden in the Third Age, Mithrellas, who got lost on her way to the elven harbor (then) in the south of Gondor. She was found by a Numenorean lord named Imrazor, and the two were married. After a few years and a couple kids, Mithrellas just disappeared. It’s assumed that she sailed to Valinor. (By the way, this is where the elvish blood in the line of princes of Dol Amroth comes from.)
So why didn’t Arwen do the same thing? Basically because she really really loved Aragorn. I talked a little in this post about some of the philosophical differences between elves and men in Middle Earth, and the bottom line is, though the two races can live happily together in Middle Earth, once they’re parted by death they are parted forever. If Aragorn were to live and Arwen remained an immortal elf, they would never ever ever see each other again. The only way for Arwen to stay with Aragorn, in life and in death, was to give up her immortality. (Even when elves die of unnatural means, they are still separated from the spirits of mortal men.)
SOURCES: The Silmarillion, LOTR, LOTR Appendices
There are multiple chapters that are set in hospitals where the characters are attempting to recover from injuries that never fully heal. I must once again stress that my experience in WWI was perfectly normal.
There is a giant horrible mudplain full of unrecoverable and perfectly preserved dead bodies that the characters have to walk through in a land where the air is poisoned gas, and on a compLETELY UNRELATED NOTE: WWI WAS TOTALLY FINE AND NORMAL!!
Tifa’s Elevator Pitch About Cloud
I always wondered what Tifa told Barret and the others when convincing them to let Cloud join.
THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE RETURN OF THE KING 2003 | dir. Peter Jackson
are we not feeling very pious today, brother lionel
star wars legends + onion headlines Part 2/?
what do you think would happen if jacen and rey meet how do you think that interaction would go?
i don't know whether you mean canon jacen or legends jacen, but i feel the need to feed the legends girlies today <3
(commission info // tip jar!)
Taking a 5-second break from the Bagginshield angst to bring you this meme I created after an all-nighter, enjoy.
Lord of the Rings was published in the fifties, and largely written in the forties. Tolkien’s opinions on society and morality and technology are at some points genuinely more conservative than what I’m comfortable with. And yet, the more I think about it, the more sure I am that Tolkien actually deconstructs most of the clichéd fantasy tropes he supposedly originates. Some examples.
The long-lost heir is not the hero, he’s a side character who deliberately uses himself as a decoy.
The real hero actually fails in his quest, his goodness and determination and willpower utterly fail in the face of evil, and the world is saved by a series seemingly unrelated good deeds.
The central conflict is not between destroying the world and preserving it. An age of the world will come to an end, and many great and beautiful things will perish, whether the heroes win or lose. The past may have been glorious, but preserving it is impossible, and returning to it is impossible, time has passed and the world has moved on. The king returns, but the elves are gone and magic fades from the very substance of Middle Earth. The goal is not to preserve the status quo, the goal is the chance to rebuild something on the ruins.
Killing the main villain seems to instantly solve the problem, eradicate all enemies and fix the world, except it doesn’t, not wholly, since the scouring of the Shire still has to happen.
Also, the hero gets no real reward, and what he gets, he cannot really enjoy. He is hurt by his ordeal, and never fully recovers.
There is a team of heroes, a classic adventuring party, except the Fellowship is together for less one sixth of the series. The Fellowship is intact from the Council of Elrond to Gandalf’s death, four chapters. The remaining eight are together until Boromir’s death, an additional six chapters. This is nothing compared to LOTR’s length of sixty-one chapters, if I count correctly.
Tolkien is not classic high fantasy. If you actually think about it, there is very little magic. The hobbits’ stealth is not magical, most elven wonders are not unambigously magical, wizards are extremely rare, and even Gandalf hardly uses magic if you compare him to the average DnD wizard. Most magic is indistinguishable from craft, there is no clear difference between a magic armor and a very good armor, between magic bread and very good bread, between magical healing and competent first-aid plus a few kind words.
TLDR: Stop praising recent fantasy for deconstructing Tolkien if they’re “deconstructing” something Tolkien has never actually constructed.
here at megacorporation, one of our core values is number go up. our other core value is rate at which number go up go up. these two core values guide us in our mission to exploit you as effectively as possible
When the main characters are having an existential crisis but you're just here to farm JP ✌️😋
This was funnier in my head hhhh im having such a good time with the remaster the sudden cut to the victory screen cracks me up