wheres the dingle-dangle???

Sweet Dreams For The House Stranger

[ceruleanheaven]

brought nothing to the gun fight. whatever man

[housestranger]

[importantandunavoidable]

enough preg let's litigate a new fetish. step right up who's got a good one

[importantandunavoidable]

your mind is so beautiful. im obsessed. i dont even want to litigate over the morals of this one im just mentally playing in this space with u rn. what if i was a naughty little mothgirl and mommy tortured me with stinky mothballs

[baeddoll]

Uncles can actually abandon their nephew and bond with a new one, but this reaps terrible damage upon their mind and body, only done under great duress when the nephews vibe is totally rancid

[storm-of-feathers]

EVERYONE STOP TELLING ME HOW OLD YOU WERE IN 2008 I DONT WANNA HEAR THAT SHIT

[storm-of-feathers]

SOME OF YOU SHOULD BE AT THE OPRHANGE

[storm-of-feathers]

preschool. I meant preschool.

[junk-thunder]

stole some guy's dog and drove off but then i realized i didnt even want this thing so i threw it out the window and it shattered like a vase

[housestranger]

[zinesbycee]

(nods sagely) (nods basily) (nods rosemarily) (nods saltly) (nods star anisely)

[housestranger]

[mockwa]

[laroonthedragonchu]

This post is getting marked NSFW and I think that’s a travesty.

[smaakburg]

You’re wrong, the lack of railings is the very definition of NSFW

[amnesiaguy]

all my haters become tomaters in my lovely summer garden

[eebie]

[itwashotwestayedinthewater]

this is the final, ultimate peak of dril tweets and the signal to end the era of weird twitter forever

[creekfiend]

I'm so glad that that truncated fucking ran-into-a-wall-at-speed tadpole-ass looking squirrel only lives in high altitude forests in Borneo bc this means I am extremely unlikely to encounter one in my day to day life. thank god

[tuftedpygmysquirrel]

Hello.

[creekfiend]

DID YOU MAKE THIS BLOG SIMPLY TO TORMENT ME

[tuftedpygmysquirrel]

I can go upside down.

[creekfiend]

WHERE IS THE REST OF YOU

[heymedley]

literally tumblr

[cheaphalloweencostume]

yesterday my grandma found a penny on the floor and said to my grandpa “there’s that penny again, pa!” and i absolutely lost my mind because i couldn’t shelve the thought of a single panel Far Side comic of two old people on the front porch in the middle of nowhere and a giant penny angrily and inexplicably rolling through the wastes

“there’s that penny again, pa!”

[secreteggplantbaby]

[cheaphalloweencostume]

this is hands down my single favorite post ive ever made that got notes

[morgannalefey]

I sincerely hope that the OP realizes that gramma was very likely quoting that cartoon.

[cheaphalloweencostume]

the cartoon that was drawn and posted based on my post? probably not, but i guess we can never know

[benzohoarder]

[figural]

#google translate does not capture the tone switch so i have to say. first two sentences are like. normal maybe kind of feminine posting tone #& the last is like. shounen manga protagonist. action movie hero. jojo's bizarre adventure character. #the tone you would use if you were holding a gun with the safety off (– @chadlesbianjasontodd)

[minothtime]

Basically, a translation could be:

I just think it's so interesting that people end up falling in love with their friends' boyfriends! I absolutely despise every single one of them. give me my fucking homie back you goddamn bastard

[liminalweirdo]

translation tags by @minothtime because they are so so good

[dikdikpronouncedxylophone]

[ohnonanao]

[crabanarchy]

They say ooooh be a good boy for daddy and you'll get a reward. But then the reward is just gay sex. This is bullshit. I wanted a skateboard

[crabanarchy]

Then they say if you're a bad boy daddy will punish you. But what's the punishment? More gay sex! You can't escape it. This whole damn place is in the pocket of Big Sex

[mockva]

Man notices an Eagle eyeing the fish he just caught

[mexicain-sans-frontiers-v2]

[the-davest-of-uncles]

*gets back to the nest* baby you are NEVER gonna believe how i got this fish

[birds-in-posts]

White-bellied sea-eagle (Icthyophaga leucogaster)

[official-ornithology-posts]

Official ornithology post

[theyfabfuta]