The intense, soul-crushing boredom of working in manufacturing led me to the idea of doing tarot readings with the Cards Against Humanity base deck, so... let's fuckin go!
Base Guidelines:
Submit a question! This can be through asks (anon is A-OK), direct messages (anon can be requested), or comments/reblogs.
Tell me how many cards you'd like me to "read"! Each black + white card pairing counts as 1 card. Right now, I'll only do 1-4 cards.
I don't know how much (or if) I'll interpret these. They might not need interpretation, or you might get paragraphs.
I reserve the right to decline requests or re-draw cards if the individual cards or pairings are too awful. It's CAH, so there's bound to be some... interesting? answers, but I still have limits.
Tips are welcome but entirely optional! That said, I might put tips towards expansions for fresh requests if this takes off.
New Tip Incentive: Still totally optional, but if I get $10 in tips I will literally Tumblr Blaze this hot mess and get it sent to random people. Try me.
Sample readings and additional rules/guidelines I've set for myself will be below the cut~
Sample Readings:
What should I have for breakfast? (test draw)
Image depicting Cards Against Humanity cards on a heavily-stickered background. The black card reads, "What's that sound?" and the white card placed on top reads, "Dick fingers."
...in which the Cards tell me to suck a dick for breakfast.
2. What is the dark side of my personality? (submitted anonymously)
Image depicting three sets of Cards Against Humanity cards on a heavily-stickered background. The first card combination, representing the Maiden, features a black card reading, "I get by with a little help from ___" and a white card reading, "Darth Vader." The second card combo, representing the Mother, shows a black card reading, "What's that sound?" and a white card reading, "Announcing that I am about to cum." The final card combo, representing the Crone, includes a black card reading, "What's Teach For America using to inspire inner city kids to succeed?" and a white card reading, "Not wearing pants."
The Maiden: In your current state, your dark side comes from thriving on sympathizing with / taking inspiration from pop culture villains. Whether it's the edgy bad boy everyone wants to save or the badass queen you wish to emulate, it's your Villain Era and you're going to make the most of it.
The Mother: Society tends to look down upon letting your freak flag fly... but once you reach the Mother phase of your life, your dark side won't let you succumb to Society's rules. You will actively embrace hedonism and reach fulfillment through it.
The Crone: When you enter your Crone phase, your dark side will fully abandon traditional societal propriety in order to achieve your goals... many or all of which will center around the betterment of your fellow humans. The end will justify the means, but you might offend some curmudgeons along the way.
Additional Rules/Guidelines (for me):
I mentioned above that I may re-draw if the cards are a little too much. This includes permanently removing individual cards from the deck if they, by themselves, are an Issue. I don't know every card in the base set, nor am I going to sit down and thumb through all of them... if the cards deal me something revolting, though, they'll be sent to the shadow realm.
I'm going to do my damnedest to make sure I don't publish pairings that're revolting, but sometimes I'm clueless and/or not processing at full power. Please feel free to send me feedback if something I publish shouldn't have slipped by!
I'll be following the tarot practice of using cards that "jump out" of the deck... however, this happens a lot because I suck at shuffling, so if too many cards "jump out," I'll have my wife, dog, or cat choose which to use. If you have a preference, please let me know!
If you have specific triggers or aversions, let me know and I'll screen against those as best as I can.
I currently have the 1-4 "card" limit, but if you want to pitch something different, go for it! I'm always up for considering more silly ideas. (I also have access to a fair amount of Magic the Gathering cards and online directories for them that allow random card draws, as well as various dice and coins...)
UHHHH I think that's it? I'll probably add any updates through reblogs since all of this is under a cut.
There is definitely a pattern where trans women talking about any issue in any tone get perceived as too angry and too invested. It’s this nice intersection of “women are irrational and hysterical” with “men are violent and dangerous” where we get hit with both at once.
Good girl
“ Is it not the daughter of this woman whom we accused of witchcraft and burned at the stake, a few days ago?…”
New painting from my Wolfpack world and upcoming graphic novel - The Cursed Knight🐺Cheers!
Work process: https://www.artstation.com/artwork/w8bYeY
if you’re planning on using the word “religion,” stop and think to yourself: do i mean Christianity? do i know that what i’m saying is broadly applicable to all, or even most religions? how do i know that? is what i’m saying actively wrong and harmful towards marginalized ethnoreligious groups?
and if you discover that you did, in fact, mean Christianity…..use the word Christianity instead
do you believe that these are the only two religions in the world, or do you just believe that america specifically is an entirely christian country. for that matter are you aware that people outside of america sometimes use the internet to communicate with other people
a really excellent way to reduce anxiety is to pick up a new hobby. find something you’re interested in, learn it, then use it as a healthy and productive way to cope.
learn to play guitar
learn how to make interactive stories with the free program Twine
learn how to make pixel art
learn another language
learn how to build a ship in a bottle
learn how to develop your own film
learn how to embroider
learn how to make chiptunes (8-bit music)
learn how to make origami (the art of paper folding)
its like sword fighting except instead of trying to kill each other when you disarm your partner you kiss. the levels of sluttiness and homoeroticism remain exactly the same.
