Hello There Darling

Bethany Jane : England : 22

[kaity--did]

Y’all being pregnant while moving into a new house is BUCKWILD

My husband is an intelligent man, but he has gotten in his head that if I lift one box I will PERISH

[kaity--did]

Here is the problem in a nutshell

Would I love to let my husband do everything? Of course?

But this absolute GIANT of a man after TEN YEARS together still has no spatial awareness and NO AWARENESS that his a A FOOT AND A HALF taller than me. If he is left to put thing away, he will do so diligently but he PUTS EVERYTHING ON THE TOP SHELF and my TINY TREX ARMS CAN NOT MAKE THAT TRIP

[kaity--did]

I threw out my back and he’s now convinced that it’s his fault for letting me carry paper plates in the house my self and that he’s going to be a terrible father

This man has a LAW DEGREE and is a PRACTICING ATTORNEY

[kaity--did]

“You have two skeletons inside you right now that is double the amount I have. You are my sweet special Eldritch Horror” - My Husband

Thanks I think?

[kaity--did]

“It’s insane that we just made a person! I’ve never even met a baby before what do I say?!”

Not worried about diapers here folks, just first impressions

[kaity--did]

“I’m going be be a dad which is just buckwild. I have your pregnancy checklist but here is my fatherhood check list

1. I need a riding lawn mower

2. I need a white tank top

3. I need a beer, particularly an amber colored one

4. I need a book of puns

5. I need a baby back pack to carry said baby

6. I want my own diaper bag, and I want it to be STYLISH

Kait are you writing this down this is important?”

[kaity--did]

Me: a lot of people on the internet are calling you a himbo, would you like to respond?

Husband: I am often very dumb, and I do drink the respect women juice like fine wine, however I am not very strong, and I just don’t know if I can accept this title if I do not meet all the qualifications

Me: I don’t know, you lifted all those boxes on your own

Husband: this was simply DAD ENERGY

🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

[kaity--did]

I can not with this fool

[catgirlnailpolish]

literally marry him

[kaity--did]

I have great news my friend

[404computerhamstersnotfound]

marry him again

[kaity--did]

I’ve read him some of these replies and he got very upset and yelled (which if you know my husband is barely over a whisper) “I CANT MARRY YOU ANY HARDER I KNOW IVE GOOGLED IT MANY TIMES”

Y’all I’m obsessed with this idiot

[thecyndimistuff]

I JUST HAD A REALIZATION JKALDFJOIWEJFIOAJEFJ

[whitepeopletwitter]

[probably-voldemort]

When my cousin Olivia was three, she started preschool and became best friends with a boy named Abraham.  Most people called him Abe, even then, because Abraham is a mouthful for a three year old and, to most people, it’s the logical nickname.

Not, however, according to Olivia, who decided to nickname him Ham.

No one’s really sure whether she wasn’t totally listening when he was introduced and only caught the last part of his name, or if she decided Abe was too boring a nickname, or maybe she was just hungry, but the nickname has stuck for the last twenty years.  Of course, Olivia was and still is the only person to use it.

When they were seven or eight, he decided to get back at her by calling her Olive.  That nickname stuck, too, and they’ve been Olive and Ham since.  But only to each other.  They get highly offended if anyone else calls them that.

Last night was their seventh anniversary, and Abe proposed to Olivia, and she said yes.  And how did she announce it on Facebook, you may ask?

People used to tell me “If you like ham so much, why don’t you just marry it?”  So I am.

[probably-voldemort]

Shout out to Olive and Ham, who are still engaged and adorable and who are planning on getting married sometime next summer

[little-miss-rasputin-pageant]

the poetic cinema in the movie Holes when it shows Kate Barlow in the schoolhouse and drops of water are falling on the book she’s reading and you think the roof is leaking again even though Sam fixed it but then it shows that it’s actually because she’s crying and then Sam walks in and looks at her tear stained face with the softest expression and says, “i can fix that.”

[little-miss-rasputin-pageant]

[blanketfortarchitect]

The subplot of Holes was hands down the greatest love story of our generation

[black-girl-against-feminism]

Had me shook as a kid

[haonsowmqpoznwk-blog]

[normal-with-adhd-is-a-joke]

This is the bare minimum of decent human behavior for ANY gender. If you are an adult and someone who is not an adult wants to have a relationship with you, it is your duty to, at bare minimum, turn them away.

[glorious-spoon]

and like... having crushes on adults is a Normal Adolescent Thing, but it doesn’t mean they’re ready for--or for that matter, want--an actual relationship with said adult. it’s a goddamn developmental phase for kids working out their sexuality, and treating it as a chance to get laid is fucking monstrous.

[bendingsignpost]

Recommended tactics to deal with a child hitting on you:

“kiddo”

“buddy”

inform a friend to ensure you’re never left alone with them

refer to own age in conversation

“yeah, I know I look young, but you wouldn’t BELIEVE how awkward it is being mistakenly hit on by a teenager!”

upon that child turning 18:

“Happy birthday, kiddo!”

“Have you registered to vote yet?”

“Man, being a baby adult was so hard, good luck with that”

[awed-frog]

And as a reminder, teenagers often have crushes on older and/or unavailable people like celebrities precisely because psychologically/emotionally they’re not ready to have a relationship. On a subconscious level, fantasizing about someone you know you can’t be with allows you to experiment with your emotions in a safe way. And obviously an adult taking advantage of that will disrupt the entire thing.

[valtsv]

it fucks me up that tolkien only died in 1973. dude has the vibe of a victorian scholar who wrote all his manuscripts by candlelight but then you look him up and realise that he knew what color tv was. what the fuck.

[valtsv]

[tiwaztyrsfist]

Tolkien had personal beef with the Beatles

[solepunk]

He actively encouraged Led Zeppelin to write songs based on the LOTR series and considered it an honor

[sillymarillion-comics]

[maryefimovaone]

[ape-of-naples]

#freshly peeled sheeps

[mage-pie]

reblogging solely for that deeply unnerving caption

[jitterbugjive]

@theosartisticthematics

[doctorsiggy]

FRESHLY PEELED SHEEPS

[maddeningmagic106]

Fuck this. Does everyone just not see the blood scrapes on some of their backs and faces???!!! Anyone, seriously, correct me if I’m wrong because this is making me upset af

[rynofslytherin-deactivated20211]

Domesticated sheep need to be sheared because they don’t shed their coats on their own and it can be bad for their health if it gets too big.

Also, it looks considering how close they cut that it went fairly well. I see like 2 nicks maybe, but with the photo it’s hard to tell. I mean, unfortunately, you’re going to nick a few animals because they don’t understand the order of “stand still” very well. 

[uleanblue-deactivated20190205]

Sheep can die from heat exhaustion if they aren’t sheared. 

Also, their skin secretes lanolin, which quickly soothes and heals any nicks they get during shearing. 

[miquerida]

in conclusion, it is good to peel the sheeps

[trashytoclassy-deactivated20231]

Please peel your sheeps

[b00bconnoisseur]

They. Look. Like. Peeled. Potatoes

[cruzan-for-love-deactivated2026]

Peel your sheep peeps!

[association-of-free-people]

Remember when they found Shrek living in that cave and freed him

[thisisntmeanymore-deactivated20]

he’s smiling in that last one

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

HE HAS BEEN SAVED

[stream]

Hulk + normal flesh tone Avengers: Endgame (2019)

[gum-my-bears-deactivated2025011]

Shrek 2 (2004)

[ruinedchildhood]

[pootiekd]

Turn him back to green please? Thank you

[animusrox]

[taquito]

video i play to go to sleep to so that i have good dreams

[keybladesoras]

DAY IS MADE!

[whitepeopletwitter]

[whitepeopletwitter]

[storyoflight]

[zombeesknees]

#can people stop hiring paul bettany to be ice cold and whispery  #and hire him again to be A HYPER CON ARTIST STAND-UP EMCEE AGAIN  #pls and thnk u

[dancinbutterfly]

drunk, queer, naked, slutty, loud, and completely full of shit truly, the greatest role he has every portrayed

[carolxdanvers]

The three genders: lords, ladies, and not-sitting-on-a-cushion

[natlianovna-deactivated20190623]

Am I the only that thinks Bucky is going to be the more lighthearted one of the two in the Falcon and Winter Soldier series, cause bro:

Sam looks so annoyed in every scene with Bucky. In this gif, he’s stressed, the “I left my oven on and I’m pretty sure that’s my building burning in the distance” kind of stressed and BUCKY LOOKS LIKE AN ACQUAINTANCE HAPPILY JOGGING ALONG AS UNWELCOME MORAL SUPPORT AND IT SEEMS TO BE CONSISTENT WITH THEM. Even when they’re fighting Peter, Bucky doesn’t grow more frustrated he’s kind of just like, “Damn,” and Sam is like, “mOTHERFUC-”

[s-leary]

These situations are among the worst Sam has ever been in.

Bucky? Shit, any day Nazis are not electrocuting him is a fucking great day.

[swingsetindecember]

also, i assume that bucky isnt actually supersoldier running. because he is keeping pace with his new friend sam

[princessscrambledpancakes]

sam: oh god gonna save the world oh fuck

bucky: out for a pleasant jog, might shoot some bad guys, who knows

[byebyebriar]

Sam: How the fuck aren’t you stressed right now

Bucky: You have no idea how low my bar is for a good day

[nbjanet]

my last two brain cells

[pinof]

the suite life finale

[briefnightmarefire]