[acastersource]

James Acaster: Cold Lasagne Hate Myself 1999

Bonus:

[c3rvida3]

Someone told my ex-dad (not a sex thing; he just disowned me) that I’m trans and now he’s threatening to come to work and make a scene, and I know I should be upset, but like. What’s he gonna say exactly? And to whom? Because imagining a haggard and likely shitfaced Pennsylvania construction worker barging through the grocery store like, “HEY!!! THAT BROAD-HIPPED 5'3” EFFEMINATE KID WITH THE CONSPICUOUSLY BIZARRE NAME WHO SPEAKS IN A CARTOONISHLY AFFECTED CARICATURE OF MASCULINITY AIN’T GOT NO DICK!!! YOU GONNA BUY SCRATCH OFF TICKETS FROM SOME KINDA DICKLESS ABOMINATION??“ is wild. What’s it going to accomplish? Or is he gonna call my manager? “HELLO, I’D LIKE TO REPORT A FRAUD IN YOUR DELI DEPARTMENT. THERE IS NOT SAUSAGE AS ADVERTISED.” What the fuck.

[c3rvida3]

Odds are he’s more embarrassed of having a trans ex-kid than I am of being outed at work, so what if I go to his job and tell everyone I’m trans first? What then, coward?

[grimthetransman]

That’s such a power move.

[dualclock]

This is exactly the struggle I’m having with my own mother right now and honestly? i sort of did that, but at the church i grew up in. my mom was like “oh so what if i tell the whole church youre trans” as if she had forgotten that nearly everyone who goes to my church is actually gay, like elderly retired gay couples, so i was like “haha okay,” and told everyone.

And lemme just say, watching a 5'2", 87 year old gay man stop my mother mid-sentance to say “Actually, I think he prefers to go by Aiden now.” was the BIGGEST dick energy ive ever seen.

[whofvckncares]

[galaxybrainthot]

this post reads very differently for mlm and wlw

[schizophrenicarchivist-remade-d]

mlm:

wlw:

[gh0stenthusiast]

[pyjamathyst]

Flute boy: “DON’T FUCK WITH ME, I HAVE THE POWER OF GOD AND ANIME ON MY SIDE.”

Bystander: “Wait, you-”

FB: “aAAAAHH”

[goawfma]

lil matt damon SNAPPED

[willsmithsmackedtheshitoutofme]

He looks exactly like Matt Damon

[te-amo-corazon]

the finger points 😭😭

[futureblackwakandan-deactivated]

Fuck it up lil Matt Damon

[confusionofconfusions-deactivat]

[locsandhoney]

He was so amazed lmaooo

[bunsoir]

Indepth analysis and solution of "Apple Bottom Jeans"

to this day this song remains a very heated topic of conversation  for many experts but I recently had an epiphany

so we know that shawty has at least some apple bottom jeans and em boots wit da fur (wit the fur!) and that the whole club is looking at her

but then further along we find out that shawty also had saggy sweatpants and the reeboks with the straps 

so either shawty is wearing pants over her head and shoes in her hands or she is some kind of quadruped centaur creature with a questionable fashion sense which could definitely explain why the whole club is looking at her to begin with

but then it came to me…  . .  it never says shawty has any hands or is even hUMAN.. and i was enlighten

it all makes sense now..

shawty is .. . 

a dog

as we all know dogs aren’t the best when it comes to the latest fashion trends 

and fmore snippets of the  lyrics also seem to support this theory

so FloRida spent a lot of money getting a purebred champ line dog (named shawty apparently) that he paid a lot of money for 

the club is probably the akc making sure she is legit(which is why they are all looking at her)

this world is full of enigmas but at least there is one less question plaguing our minds

you are welcome world

[memecucker]

i cant wait for the climax of Infinity War when Nicholas Cage as Ghost Rider just speeds in out of nowhere and one-shots Thanos and leaves without saying anything

[humongoustreegalaxy]

me walking into a cvs at midnight: i need to lift a curse

employee: aisle 5

me: thanks

[saddest-cat-hours]

[spaced-queen-deactivated2024072]

this shit feel like it happened 20 years ago

[controversial-feminist]

Women who don't want babies

• are not selfish • are not less of a woman • are not weird • are not immature • won’t necessarily change her mind • won’t necessary be a lonely old lady • “a lonely old crazy cat lady” is a patriarchal asshole stereotype:):):):) • doesn’t necessarily hate kids • doesn’t need to give you an explanation

[shitpostbot5k]

[cungadero]

the fact that a bot made this makes it at least 8 times funnier

[spintowin]

she’s out there making owl noises

[techtonicactivity]

who

[big-chief-woodenhead]

[avibeyvillain]

Me when I see the plotline heading towards Reylo:

Me when she beats his ass and leaves:

[beachdeath]

[yourlesbiandad]

*looking in a mirror trying to practice self-love* ur doing great u stupid bitch

[nightinngales]

bruh…

[prime89]

Wait, if their names are puns on their power, then Violet is ultraviolet which is invisible to the human eye.

[freshest-tittymilk]

SHUT UP.

[earlploddington-deactivated2019]

13 years

[advanced-procrastination]

Y'all are gonna flip your shit when i tell you about Dash

[unregistered-hypercam2-deactiva]

[eue]

when you got banned from all social media for harassing women so you got no place to vent except Microsoft Word and a printer

[sexyleftistsantaclause]