greco-roman fantasy @hydro-ray - Tumblr Blog

Americans invented tbe worlds burgled and burglars to apply to robberies because the concept of losing their burger is the scariest thing to them

girlgrimer

Follow me for more wikipedia ^

luimnigh

This is shockingly close to the truth.

Both come from the Latin "burgus", meaning castle or fortified town. A burglar being someone who bypassed the security of fortifications.

Meanwhile burger comes via Hamburg, the burg of Hamma.

So burgers are named after fortifications, and burglars are the ones who bypass them.

bubba-san

The Hamburglar is a reunion of terms

beardedmrbean

kaijuno

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

horror movie that telegraphs who the "final girl" is, but 55 minutes in the "stoner guy" character reveals she's been having Trans Thoughts

woodwool

🤗 i dont like this emoji. this is not a hug to me. this is someone doing condescending jazz hands in my general direction when i am in need of affection. not comforting.

🫂 i love this emoji. this is a hug. we are hugging and its nice. and as a special bonus they appear to be my old friends from the msn messenger logo? very comforting.

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

…THEY’RE CALLED T-SHIRTS BECAUSE THEY RESEMBLE THE LETTER T

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

also they were originally a form of underwear and I think that’s nifty!

shroompuff1

GAUD THIS HAS LONG BEEN COMMON KNOLEDGE

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

I don’t know what the fuck counts as common knowledge!!! for years I thought everyone knew that lobsters have teeth in their stomachs & blood can be used as an egg substitute. my perspective is slightly skewy!

perniciousprophet

How much blood contitutes one egg?

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

¼ cup of blood can be substituted for one medium sized egg

venomaximus

There are 37.2 trillion cells in the human body and this post put all of my cells in attack mode

gigglepuffpixie

does it have to be wet blood? because dried blood is more shelf stable

i actually have a similar question regarding the infamous “virgin blood.” honestly, the dry stuff is just so much easier to work with

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

my thought process is that if milk can be powdered, blood probably can be too seeing as mammal milk is just filtered blood

acethememelorde

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

#breast milk is actually called white blood by some people

milk is mostly made out of white blood cells, we should absolutely just refer to it as White Blood

nimblermortal

Do I Need To Pull Out The Perpetual Lactation Story?

lemon-badgeress

…yeeeeees? yes.

nimblermortal

This is a summary of a branch of medieval theology.

As we all know, women are responsible for original sin, as a result of which mankind was cast from the Garden of Eden and women were cursed with painful childbirth. In addition women have periods, which are the sign of original sin.

Problem: The Virgin Mary was perfect. Can’t have been cursed with original sin. No periods.

Question: Where does the blood go?

For all our wonderful theories about spontaneous generation and phlogiston, we do believe in some form of conservation of matter. If women have all this extra blood all the time, you can’t just have one wandering around with it building up inside her. It’s gotta go somewhere!

Well, we figured it out in the end. You see, as we all know not least from reading the above post, milk is just boiled blood. So for Mary, the blood just sort of condensed and she was in a state of perpetual lactation.

This led to things like a particular saint (it’s Bernard) having a vision of the Madonna appearing before him and squirting her breast milk into his mouth, to apply either wisdom or a cure for an eye infection, which has delightfully been depicted in several works of art.

lemon-badgeress

may i change my answer

kittydesade

pirateprincessjess

“Covid game me narcolepsy” no you fucking pervert it didn’t. You’re just a weirdo with a gross fetish. Covid didn’t make you suddenly want to fuck dead people. Keep that shit to yourself you gods damned weirdo

I have type 2 Narcolepsy. Studies have shown that serious viral infections can cause people to develop Narcolepsy if they are already genetically susceptible to having it. This includes covid. That is what happened to me.

You on the other hand might want to google the difference between Narcolepsy and Necrophilia….

pirateprincessjess

Yall, I can’t believe that I have to do this, but I am going to say this in as clearly as possible

The anon was very confused.

I have Narcolepsy, which is a sleep disorder. Narcolepsy has nothing to do with Necrophilia. I am not into necrophilia.

pirateprincessjess

I didn’t realize that one said “necropolises.” That’s actually so funny. I think that one must have been a joke

fiendir

birds-and-friends

Flying is effortless, landing can be a little bit harder, Cornell Lab / DoC (northern royal albatross) (part 1)

taylors-a-goblin

There’s so much about this. The tumble itself is so irredeemably funny. The child stops asking for food and just stares in silence as the adult completely beefs it. The adult, absolutely ashamed, wandering off screen, refusing to make eye contact with the baby.

Perfect 10s all round.

leavethesky

Also, the adult trying to get the dirt/sand out of its mouth from it’s epic faceplant. I mean, this is basically me every morning.

salmonella-destroyer-of-worlds

We all making grandpa cry btw

batty-bun

I'm sorry grandpa that they're doing this

si-lee-me

artbyblastweave

What, the forest-dwelling entities with imperfect human mimicry who insinuate themselves into groups of hikers? Yeah, we had one of those. Clocked it immediately, of course. Honestly it kind of fell in that so-inept-it's-kind-of-charming range. We just played along until it'd had it's fill of marshmallows and shambled back into the treeline. We might have been violating some kind of killjoy wildlife contact best practices but what the hell, can't plan around every little thing. Why, what happened to you guys

eikotheblue

these tags are gold omg

rhysintherain

It's a misconception that the mimics are hunting humans when they trail along at the back of hiking groups.

In fact, the creature you'll find suddenly walking beside you and acting as if they've always been there is almost certainly a juvenile, as the adults lose the ability when they reach reproductive age.

Recent studies suggest the forest mimic is less like a preying mantis (mimicry as a hunting strategy) and more like a cuckoo (mimicry as a protective strategy for their young). Adult forest mimics will leave their offspring near a group of hikers while they forage during the day, and retrieve them near trailheads in the evening. Groups of hikers provide safety from predators and allow the parents of the species the freedom to forage more widely.

For this reason, the traditional advice to never let a mimic into your vehicle is still very important, as this would separate the young mimic from its mother. If a juvenile forest mimic does follow your group to the parking lot, you can keep it entertained with trail snacks, dad jokes, and simple goofs. The mother will usually collect them shortly before sunset.

When you notice the woods around the trailhead go silent and feel a sense of nameless foreboding, find an excuse to avert your attention from the juvenile so it can sneak back into the forest to rejoin its mother, convinced it's fooled another party of unsuspecting humans.

fandomcompass

surprisingly wholesome takes from the cryptid community here

doggeddetermination

@monstrousproductions

its-funnytwittertweets

lizardywizard

i love this because it's like. why did paleolithic peoples paint the hunt. perhaps to celebrate and honour brave deeds that kept the community alive. perhaps to bring luck for future hunts. perhaps to instruct those who came after how to slay the beast. perhaps to remind us we can: that the mammoth is not unkillable.

this graffiti, too, serves those purposes!