Idiot Sandwich

Just piece of bread

[motherfucker-somewhat-limited]

[normalpersonblog]

(thinks about something someone said 2 months ago) Fuck you

[vexwerewolf]

Organised crime? Nah girl I'm into disorganised crime. If a goon doesn't have ADHD they aren't getting hired

[vexwerewolf]

Cops can't stop us if they don't know what we're doing, and they can't find out if we have no idea either

[vexwerewolf]

Nah I'm safe it wouldn't happen twice

[vexwerewolf]

Minions stop this post from reaching 1k

[lesser-robot-cat]

On it, boss! Gettin' this post to 10k, just like you said!

[jame7t]

don’t come near me. you’re just trying to domesticate me and it won’t work

[cryptotheism]

Oh well. Guess I'll have to eat these pills wrapped in cheese all by my self.

[jame7t]

hold on…

did you say 🧀cheese?

[amazoogle]

tuesday status?

[cognitohazardous]

yup. its tuesday 👍

[amazoogle]

copy. tuesday confirmed ✅ engaging tuesday protocol

[chickensnack]

TUESDAY AGAIN NO PROBLEM

[chickensnack]

congratulations to me and my funny dog that i drew 8 years ago for getting a million notes

[presidentdragon]

"that time of the month" "monthly visitor" "feminine hygiene products" GRRAH!!! SHUT UP SHUT UP!!! PERIOD!! MENSTRUATION!!!! TAMPONS!!! PADS!! MENOPAUSE!!!!!!!!!!!

[tyke-dyke]

VAGINA!!!!

[presidentdragon]

[lastoneout]

[crystallizedtwilight]

whoops

[knottahooker]

#when you set out for revenge dig two graves#unless you’re hamlet#in which case you’re going to want to rent a backhoe (x) YOU’RE NOT LEAVING THAT IN THE TAGS BUDDY

[virtualgirladvance]

F

[ace-disgrace-on-the-case]

U

[knight-errant-girl]

N

[toa-arania]

G

[robotgirlservos]

P

[flareonfloof]

[blacksheepcolorfulskin]

WHY IS THIS SO GOOD?!

[amezure]

Some of my favorite dialogues from animal crossing 🌈

[jvgsjeff]

[yahenni]

[doctor-wormm]

please reblog this i spent way too long on what was supposed to be a quick edit

[breadloco]

stopppp everyone absolutely needs to see this

[jewperduper]

So my dad was the assistant music editor on Tarzan, and idk if it was Bring Your Kid to Work Day or something but one day he did just that so there I was, this incredibly small 1st grader, in an absolutely cavernous recording studio with a full orchestra and a giant screen playing the scene they were taping the score for, and my little brain couldn't handle the big music and the big movie happening all at once so I started crying and it was the first time music ever brought me to tears and it was too much to take in so we stepped out of the studio and ran directly into Phil Collins, who looked to me very much like my dad, and in my delicate emotional state I became immediately convinced that my dad had been copied and nobody had told me so I started crying harder, and Phil Collins said something that was probably meant to be calming but it was with a British accent so I thought there was a copy of my dad in every country and I absolutely lost it at the notion that other kids would get to have my dad, and my dad ended up having to carry me back to the car.

So.

Sorry for crying very loudly at you Phil Collins, your work on Tarzan was so moving it triggered my first emotional breakdown.

[ihatenearlyeverything]

the only thing that could top that clip is that story

[64mpg]

what do you mean my childhood affected me

[64mpg]

i have terrible news

[phantomrose96]

I like when fic length/book length/movie length is its own punchline

[phantomrose96]

characters: Ah, I'm so glad that's all over now :). But luckily that's done and dealt with and we can all resume our normal lives now :)

fic length: Chapter 9 out of 48

[phantomrose96]

[medievalspecs]

[memorilore]

[epilepticfox]

Odysseus: Thank you for the concern, but brother, I can assure you Our journey is almost done.

Song 11 of 40

[parkchanwoohoo]

[penny-anna]

i think the reason why the assassination of Julius Caesar is one of the funniest political assassinations is for this very simple reason:

1 guy stabs 1 guy: not funny. that's murder.

2 guys stab 1 guy: even less funny. that's two against one.

60 guys stab 1 guy: uproariously funny. why do you need so many guys.

[emmikay]

60 guys only manage to stab the 1 guy 23 times: I can't fucking breathe I'm laughing too hard, you suck at this