Walmart, Babey

This is a spam account. I'll be posting about my issues and shit. I'd make it on insta, but I don't want to burden anyone with it. If you find this and care or just wanna see my drama, follow. You don't have to. This spam is less for my friends to see my issues and more so I can have SOMEWHERE to put them instead of keeping them in my head. I thought of the name because I wanted walmart in it and then I thought of "I am the walrus"

[i-am-the-walmart]

i dont have spoons i have makeshift devices made from the scraps of foil from my applesauce

[i-am-the-walmart]

Literally had a fucking dream about me doing something wrong in front of one of my classes and one of my favorite teachers, causing me to cry bc I hate myself for it and then literally all the people I thought were my friends wouldn't talk to me or comfort me about it

[i-am-the-walmart]

FUCK

Why do I even fuckin try anymore

[avpdcalliope]

Fun Avpd things™

wanting to say something but physically not being able to say it, and getting frustrated because you want to talk but cant 

never disagreeing with anyone because you dont want them to hate you more then they already do

not being able to stand up for yourself 

wanting to die when getting negative criticism 

deleting text posts 2 minutes after making them because you are uncomfortable/afriad of people seeing it even if its just “hey” 

not being able to video chat or voice call people because aaaaaaaaa

joining in a multiplayer game then immediately leaving when someone else joins it bc aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

not being able to socialize the way you want to, thus turning into more self hate bc you cant socialize 

getting irritated when you have to be around people for a long time 

unable to go to places without someone you are comfortable with 

being happy when plans get canceled, even if its with someone you enjoy 

wanting to be loved and wanted but being unable to express that need 

being unable to express any negative emotions to people actually 

being uncomfortable with the idea of being a living, breathing human and would much rather be a ghost 

feeling like people hate you but being unable to ask to confirm or deny that so you just die™

going somewhere, and it doesnt go as planned and so now you cant ever go to that place again ever till the day you die 

being unable to ask for help or anything actually bc fear of rejection 

saying yes to go somewhere then regretting it and starts thinking up reasons as to why you actually cant go there 

being unable to maintain many friendships, except with close people, bc it feels like a chore 

getting drained after a 5 minute conversation with someone 

feeling so inferior to everyone, to the point where its like you dont even have youre own opinions and personality and you just leech off of everyone else so you can feel like you amount to something 

when you finally vent to someone and they dont respond how you want them to and then u die™

when you avoid someone bc of anxiety/paranoia/trust issues etc and they dont attempt to contact you and it further validates ur anxiety/paranoia/ trust isses etc and then u die™ 

group projects = death™

[furiousgoldfish]

behavioural and emotional patterns of living in abuse:

you spend most of your time shut in your room

you’re scared of footsteps approaching your door

you prefer not to come out unless there’s nobody home

when they come back you run to your room/safe place

you’re nervous and anxious if you have to spend time in presence of others

you try to get away from your home, you wish you could live somewhere else

your self-confidence is very low

you worry about making too much noise (have a feeling you’ll get yellet at or abused for it)

you try to move around as silently as possible and try to not be noticed by anyone

you feel uncomfortable and uneasy sitting at the same table as rest of family/housemates

you don’t feel like you belong here

you feel like a burden to your housemates

you don’t feel like you’re worth having around or supporting in any way

you don’t feel like anyone will ever love you or believe in you

you don’t feel like anything you do is good enough

you can’t stand someone watching you do things like cleaning or anything else you need to get done

you try really hard to still find good points about your life and cling to them

you strongly worry that you are somehow worse than anyone else

you feel like you’re behind on everyone and that you’re failing to live your life properly

you don’t feel like anything would have changed if you died, or even that it would be better if you did

if you’re experiencing most of this, you’re going through abuse. Your value isn’t in any way less than other humans, and you are absolutely not any kind of burden. You are human who is forced to live in a way humans aren’t meant to live. You are in living conditions that disable you from feeling happy, fulfilled, or even seeing yourself as a human being.  You are suffering. What is being done to you is not okay. You deserve better than this.

[ignis-et-equi]

A few I’d like to add

Intense paranoia when someone is looking over your shoulder while you using your phone/PC

Being startled by a knock on the door

Anxiety from receiving texts/phone calls from your house mates

Feeling that expressing your true thoughts will be invalidated

Not wanting to eat in front of your house mates

[i-am-the-walmart]

Not as depressing as my usual posts lmao but I'm putting it here bc I feel like it fits better here

Kinda weird/sad that the way I know I've found an aesthetic that I actually want to have as a person is because making an OC/Para with it feels wrong

Like... I wanna dress like a pirate and a dandy and a grandparent and live in a house of haunted knickknacks, but I only know that it's me and not an idea I have bc it feels too personal to make a character out of

Even when I try to make characters and make a character for myself to project onto, fuck any idea of romance. If I relate to an OC too much, guess they're aro/ace/aroace.

Probably bc I can't see myself ever dating anyone or anything so, y'know, can't see a fictionalization of myself doing it either.

Anyway, I wanna be a pirate. Gotta find a place to live where I can work at a zoo but also still dress like a Weirdo.

[furiousgoldfish]

Toxic parents: Not only we can brainwash you from early age that you only exist for our benefit and that your only purpose is to please us and make our lives easier, we can rob you of all of the family experiences you needed to grow and develop, we can inflict wounds and emotional injuries and fears that will haunt you for the rest of your life, but we can also invalidate everything you've been through and act like we're faultless and get away with everything without as much as feeling guilty or responsible, and convince everyone that it's all your fault and that we were great parents, and you, a failure and waste of space are ungrateful little vermin who dared to defy us by requesting basic human rights and non-hostile environment to live in.

Toxic parents: How dare you not give us unconditional love and forgiveness.

[guillermovanhelsing-deactivated]

Hey friendly reminder that sibling abuse is real and you don’t get a pass from it for being an abuse victim yourself!

[themadcapmathematician]

Like if someone says “my sibling used to grab me, scream at me, punch me, kick me, spit on me, pull my hair, steal my stuff, break my stuff, and call me ugly and fat and make fun of me all the time and i didn’t like it” the response shouldn’t be like “lol siblings are like that!” until you tack on something like “they also shoved me into oncoming traffic” or some shit; the fact that they did that to you and you didn’t want them to and it didn’t stop is already an issue

[spooksomedudes]

TW: Abuse

How come when it’s child abuse or spousal abuse, you have all these hotline numbers to call and you can file reports, but when it’s sibling abuse, there’s no help? 

Why is it always just “sibling rivalry” and it’s assumed you’ll get along when you’re older?

I honestly don’t want my brother in my life when I’m older. I don’t think I should have to accept emotionally abusive people in my life, no matter what.

[healthyfitness-world]

Sibling abuse is real, it’s traumatizing, and it should be recognized and not ignored.

[airborneranger63]

Brother, who is very nearly my age btw: does anything bad to me

Parents: this wouldn’t be happening if you had just PLAYED with him like he wanted :) how else is he supposed to get your attention?? perhaps you had somehow provoked him to do this?? Hmm?? He simply can’t help himself, and you are o verreacting dear :) you must learn to live with him and comprimaize, and give him the love and forgiveness he deserves.

Me: does anything bad to brother

Parents:

[vampsabout-blog]

Victims of sibling abuse need more support to be honest.

[poetrytexts]

DONT NORMALISE TOXIC SIBLINGS DONT NORMALISE TOXIC SIBLINGS DONT NORMALISE TOXIC SIBLINGS

If one siblings constantly abuses their other sibling either emotionally, physically, or sexually THIS IS NOT OKAY AND/OR NORMAL

[batwizard]

hey shoutout to people who have been abused by siblings. your experiences are often brushed off as normal when they really aren’t. what you went through was abuse and yes, it was “bad enough”. don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. take care of yourself and find people who’ve gone through the same thing because they’ll understand

[i-am-the-walmart]

Bro can I not have ANYTHING

Like FUCK

My brother just assumes I'm here to listen to him and I'm already in a shit mood bc my RSD is LITERALLY kicking my ass

I work that same ass off for auditions and don't even get a motherfucking callback

Yeah sure they say no callback doesn't mean you're not being considered and yeah the role I want doesn't have a song cut for callbacks but RSD is a whore who wants me to hate myself

And I just

Everything just ends up fucked and I don't

I don't get it

Do I not deserve it or am I just good but not as good as everyone else or what????

Can I not at least get a fucking answer

If I can't have anything, maybe at least an answer

[i-am-the-walmart]

On a similar vein to my previous post, I lack a Salad Fingers or art account, so until then: have this

I added the outline to one bc of how noticeable the outline around the actual Salad Fingers is, but it doesn't look as good imo

Use as icons or whatever if you want, just tag or credit me