noblesse oblige

helena, they/them, 29

[sillyimage]

x

[i-suggest-poly]

I have a suggestion

[isuggestswiftmarketregulation]

I also have a suggestion

[i-suggest-poly]

I think I'm in love with you

[askinnyblackman]

havent seen a tumblr outage this long since like. 2011 maybe?

real ones remember

[labcorphehe-deactivated20260118]

person i work with says his wife allows him 1 diet coke a day

[rebbellsinchad]

I feel bad for him

[labcorphehe-deactivated20260118]

i do not he’s cool and loves his wife

[powerburial]

while this may appear to be a case of a domineering wife controlling a weak man, it actually represents a mutual interplay of fantasy and control. the wife does not and cannot really control the amount of diet coke the man drinks in a day. if he wanted to drink more, she very likely would be unable to physically restrain him in order to stop him from doing so (picture this in your head NOW). what is likely happening, is that the man himself does not want to drink more than one diet coke per day. he has a short-term desire to drink an infinite amount of diet coke, which he has little control over. he idealizes himself as a man who can control how much diet coke that he drinks, and the distance between his idealized self and his current self generates psychic tension. by externalizing the locus of control to his wife, he frees himself from his own judgment and expectations, and releases himself from the burden of self-imposed restraint. he offers the control to his wife, like a gift, and she gladly accepts. she enjoys the fantasy of having control over his diet coke habits, and he enjoys the relief the externalized locus of control brings to him. this represents a mutual dynamic in which both parties are healthy and happy, and neither party is truly controlling the other. in addition to that, I'm gay.

[setulose]

I think I might be about to send a deranged email

[setulose]

Couldn't find an email address so it was instead a deranged form submission

[setulose]

HUGE NEWS

[det395]

[maidthings]

elf liberalism probably goes insane

[maidthings]

"elf liberalism is basically the same as gnome fascism" - phrase that has been echoing in my head for the past 30 minutes

[autisticexpression2]

What the fuck does this mean?

[maidthings]

its not my job to educate you

[pangur-and-grim]

alright, that's a pretty satisfying sketch to final

[barbie2023]

taylor named the album life of a showgirl cause death of a salesman was already taken

[segamascott]

[rontology]

[franzis-frantic-thoughts]

Happy birthday, baby. You're doing amazing.

[sneef-to-a-snorf-fight]

ground control to crazy frog

[estrogenesis-eeveeangelion]

one elf cigarette, husbanded carefully, can burn for 3 or 4 human generations. my boy your great grandpappy bummed this ciggie from the leaf-crowned prince of the splendid dales and it has burned on the mantle of our house ever since. on your 14th nameday, my son, you will puff it at last, and become a man

[tlatollotl]

[lavinia-pfigg]

don’t lose the notes:

#they always see ‘pixie’ and ‘dream’ and ‘girl’#but forget the terrible awesome driving power of ‘manic’

[ryanthedemiguy]

Hang on, this gets funnier:

[doctor-bodacious]

margaritaville, the song, and margaritaville, the restaurant and resort empire, fascinate me because the former seems to warn against the lifestyle that the latter perpetuates

[sylan-mystra]

[cuteautumn]

TOMORROW IS HALLOWEEN!!!

[vxpo]

Tomorrow is March 28th

[yeahishipitbitch]

[simena]

Jef Bourgeau

[pipebombgf]

gender-affirming surgery is a months-long dark comedy. what the fuck do you mean you're charging me double for everything. what do you mean they itemize the bill by left and right ball. what the fuck.

[pipebombgf]

they billed me for three?? three balls???

[pipebombgf]

[asaflowerblossoms]

[to the tune of Eleanor Rigby]

testicle refund,

getting the two just removed but they say I have three.

Spurious fees.

[catgirlstalin]

this reads like a modern day shit post but its actually from a letter stalin sent to lenin in 1918 and if im honest i want him so bad for this