The Moxie mention naturally brought to mind the classic TAOC TEH WODNER DOGG short story "BOB THE FRANKY KEYBOARD"
BOB THE FRANKY KEYBOARD WAS SITTING IN A BUS STATION PLAYING HIMSELF WHEN HIS BUS ARIVED!!!!!!!!!! NOW IT IS TIME I TELL YOU A LITTLE ABOUT BOB HE WAS A ROLAND 808 KEYBOARD AND HE WANTED TO BE A BALLERINA HE GOT ON THE BUS AND WENT TO THE DUPE KITCHEN. THE DUPE KITCHEN WAS FULL OF SPEAKERPHONES HOWEVER SO HE COULD GET NO SOUP. �����
SO HE DECIDEED TO GET A JOB SO HE OULD BY HIS OWN SUP!!! FIRST FRANK WENT TO THE PET STORE. BUT THEY OWUULD NTO GET HIM A JOB BECAUSE WHEN HE WENT INTOT HE STORE HE ACIDENTALLY ASPHIXIATED A PARAKEET. SO HE TRIED TO GET A JOB WORKING AT MAILBOXES ETC, BUT HE COULDNT GET A JOB BECAUSE HE KEPT EATING STYROFOAM PACKIN=G PEANUTS. SO HHE KILLED HIIMSELF.
AT THE FUNUERAL, THE BIRD WAS THERE. HE WAS IN THE PRODUCE SECTION. SUDDENLY A MAN SHOT OUT OF THE ROCKET AND LANDED IN THE GRAPE STAND. HE SAID "HELLO, I AM THE GUY FROM THE ROCKET. I WOULD LIKE TO BUY LETTUCE AND A DILDO AND A GAY HAT AND A BOX OF CHOCOLATE POWER." SO THE MAN WHO WORKED AT THE PRODUCE SECTION GAVE HIM HIS THINGS AND STUFF AND SHOT HIMSELF. THEN THE MAN FROM THE ROCKET WENT TO THE MAGAZINE PLACE TO GET A MAGAZINE. HE GOT VANITY MAGAZINE. HE READ IT BUT THEN IT TRIED TO BITE HIS HEAD IN. SO HE RAN AWAY SCRAMMING FROM THE MAGAZINE, WHERE HE RAN INTO A WALL AND DIDO.
AFTER THAT, EVERYBODY WAS DANCING AND HAVING A GOOD TIME ON BOB THE FFANKY KEAYBOARDS' GRAVE WHEN HE CAM E BACK FROM THE DEAD AND BIT OFF THEIR COATTAILS. THEY RAN AWAY SCREAMING AND SHITTINY THEMSELVES. BOB THE FRANKY KEYBOARD PLAYED THE "POLKA" PRESET RYTHM, AND THEN PLAYED "THREE BLIND MICE" ON HIMSELF WITH ONE FINGER. THEN HE WAS KILLED BY A PASSING LOW-FLYING FIGHTER JET. BUT HE WAS NO LOGNER A GHOST ZOMBY BECAUES EHE HAD FULFILED HIS UNFISHED BUSINESS. AND HE LAUGHED HAPPILY EVER AFTER! EXEPCT HE THEN DIED. WHAIT I FROGOT HE WAS ALREADY DEAD.
BUT OUR STORY DOES NOT LIVE THERE!!!!!!! THERE WAS A MAN WHO LOKOED LIKE THE GUY ON A BOTTLE OF MOXIE. THE MAN WAS SAD BECAUSE WHENEVER HE WAS WALKING BUY SOMETHING PEOPLE WOULD SAY HAY IT IS MOXIE STRANGULATION MAN AND THEY OWULD CHASE HIM AND TRY TO STEAL HIS HAIR. SO HE KILLED HIMSELF.
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