Trying To Heal

On my way to not „die“ anymore and it’s getting better. I want to share the ups and downs, like I did years ago, but now with the opposite goal: I want to life, for the first time in my life, I want to overcome my trauma and feel again.

[iamdyingslow]

Most blogs I follow are about depression or other mental health issues and stuff and every time I read something like “I can’t do this anymore“ or “to tired of the tears“ I just want to tell them that someday it’s just going to be alright even tho I know that hearing something like this is so depressing when your not ready to heal or just to deep in this episode

So I won’t say that. I know that probably everyone who saw this and is in this Tumblr bubble scrolled forward a long time ago, searching for the next small trigger, but still I want you all to be safe even tho you can’t feel it right now. I want you to experience the same thing I did, that you one day realise that there was this one person who was always there for you, no matter what you did or that you never texted first. I want you all to hope, like I do, like there would be no other possibility than some day.

yes I have a small Hero complex

[iamdyingslow]

I wanted to end it because of him

And I kind of hate to say it, but it got better

But still, I’m feeling down, I want to see him so bad and just be around him

Maybe just to make him responsible for my feelings

Maybe because I am still addicted to his arbitrary and toxic behavior

Or maybe because I want my self to be in situations which bring me closer to the end

The only reason why I’m not calling him right now is because it makes me so ashamed that he has this control, this power over my

Good for me

[iamdyingslow]

Ig I’m back on Tumblr woohoo

[iamdyingslow]

Im su1c1dal… again… lol

[iamdyingslow]

I always thought that the longer I didn't cut myself, the easier it would be to live with out it and I would think less about it, but all I want to do is cut myself…

[iamdyingslow]

I have decided to be anorexic again

[iamdyingslow]

Pls let me die. I want to go! I can’t do this anymore!

[iamdyingslow]

I just don’t feel like living today…

[iamdyingslow]

I think my cvts are getting deeper and it scares me…

[iamdyingslow]

One of my best friends asked me to go out and I said no, because I want to lay in my bad the howl day I guess. Aka I feel fucking depressed today.

[theunsuitablesblog]

My family broke me and they don't even know.

[prisonpiss-deactivated20220611]

idk if anyone feels the same way but whenever i watch my friends' ig stories of them hanging out and having fun without me i feel like killing myself just to make them feel bad

[iamdyingslow]

Thx

[iamdyingslow]

I think everyone heard at least one time in their life that suicide is the easy way out, but who said that the easy way is worse than the hard?

[iamdyingslow]

Looking at my empty walls and knowing that my ex friends have the best time of their life is the worst feeling I’ve ever had.

[iamdyingslow]

Why can’t I just go and never come back

[iamdyingslow]

I wasn’t on tumblr for a really long time and I felt really good, most of the time. Than my mood got worse and than one day I clicked the tumblr logo on my phone like I never stoped.