shove it

eat my ass. my name's dom hi.

[terezis]

every time you make freezer food for dinner instead of buying takeout like you actually want you should earn two hundred dollars cash and a round of applause

[moreofahorse-deactivated2024121]

I just need to nap for 72 hours. That’s all. I just need 148 hours of solid rest and then i’ll be fine. Just 296 hours of shut-eye. If I could just lay down and go to sleep for 592 hours…..

[stellar-destruction]

Sending me porn you want to do recreate with me, is a valid form of flirting.

[thespamman24]

Do you ever wonder what happened to the weird girl from your middle school?

[enthusispastic]

[whyenn-reader]

Im not saying it should be illegal to own more than two properties. I'm saying there should be a lengthy screening process in which you have to prove that the next property you're aqquiring will be used by you or loved ones at least x time of a year. I think it should be immensely legally complicated to aquire more than two properties. I don't think they should let you get a third one if you just want to rent it out. I think they should shoot you with a gun for that. Housing is not a buisness and it should be heavily regulated and I'm not joking about it. What the fuck does an average private person need more than a house and maybe a summer house for. They should take away the right to own numerous properties and im not even joking when I say it. You should get HRT on demand btw.

[smallnico]

no, spotify, i don't want to use ai to "turn my ideas into playlists". i already fucking do that with my brain and hands and i do it for fun. what, should i get ai to pet my cat for me? to play my silly games for me? to spend time with my beautiful wife for me? how about i rend you asunder

[beaft]

my mythology pet peeve is when someone describes a scenario in which they keep nearly getting something and then having it snatched away, and everyone's like "one must imagine sisyphus" no!!! one must imagine TANTALUS!!! sisyphus = being made to perform a pointless, aggravating task over and over without ever making any progress. tantalus = being offered a glorious reward only for it to vanish as soon as you reach for it. they are NOT the same

[dastardlydorito]

[ashenmind]

I hope every health insurance exec dies from painful and preventable disease

[ashenmind]

it seems not everyone is as patient as I

[lakevida]

yesterday i rolled a joint and immediately lost it and my only comfort has been imagining it traveling chef boyardee style down the stairs and across the walkways to a stoner in greater need than myself

[iamsocks]

the seasonal depression is hitting so intensely i feel

[gunpla]

its always "pissing me off" and never "pooping me off". Now why is that?

[sony-official]

you're shitting me

[gunpla]

ive been through SO much. PLEASE dont try and fuck me. you dont understand

[catchymemes]

[secretgarden]

[capacity2]

Leave her alone this is kinda pissing me off she’s been through enough

[godisafujoshi]

[ovur]

Right when you don't think you can take much more you'll hear your cat start to dry heave in another room

[187onabuster-deactivated2025013]

its beginning to suck a lot like penis

[whitepeopletwitter]

[weaselle]

here are some cross-sections of some undersea cables in case anyone wants to know why this is especially funny

and we know this happens regularly

[codewitch]

Today I encountered an especially pathetic Italian greyhound. His owner told me that a gust of wind once blew him into a lake.