parents will be like "We're good parents! We did our best!" while their child is alone in their room, terrified of footsteps, unable to conceptualize being loved by anyone.
today marks the last day of my art course and i canât stress enough how much it has changed my perspective on what art can be! it was absolutely worth it!
now we are moving on to the next chapter. after trying a lot of new things and techniques I want to start developing my new art style as an illustrator. for now i want to start sharing series of illustrations inspired by all the places i visited in the recent years + share some tips
do you ever just⌠savor the moment when something is working out even if youâre not sure that itâs going to last⌠because i have been doing this a lot in the course of past few years and i find a lot if comfort in it
itâs so devastating to me that i still canât get over the way my parents abandoned me when i was 3 even after all these years of trying to heal from it and being safe and independent
sometimes i feel i can let it go but then something triggers a childhood memory and i get reminded of how they left me behind with my abusive grandparents when they had another child. How my grandma was saying i am useless and always compared me to my classmates saying nothing good would happen to me in the future. how she didnât want my mom to see me and my mom basically agreed to it because i donât remember her coming to see me at all. how my grandma was taking my stuff away or wasnât letting me watch tv/use laptop etc for misbehaving so I was anxiously hiding my stuff. how she wasnât letting me see my classmates after school at all or only under very specific conditions and i was caught sneaking and punished. how she was constantly yelling at me and I had no one to advocate for me. how she was complaining about my behavior to my dad and he was always taking her side and blamed me for making her feel worse. she even told me to beg for forgiveness for smth on my knees once
i was all alone, i was scared, i developed maladaptive phobic disorder when i was barely 5. Since then i have been escaping to fantasy worlds in my headspace. i am also autistic and adhd even though nobody knew it at the time. now im glad they didnât because i would have endured so much medical trauma knowing what they did to my sibling who was diagnosed with a certain genetic condition at a very young age. now i have no precious childhood memories. the word childhood basically equals a nightmare in my mind. i developed hyper vigilance and paranoia. i get reoccurring nightmares where iâm being neglected by people im close with and i wake up in tears. sometimes i want to cut ties with my parents for what they did even though they treat me differently nowadays when i donât need their support and protection
1. feeling as if the present moment is a memory im recalling
2. feeling like things i need to attend later in the day are not my actual plans, then remembering they are, feeling uncomfortable, forgetting, repeating the cycle after some time (e.g. going to dentist, meeting w/ friends, things that are not a part of my everyday routine)
3. talking but feeling like you participate in the conversation from 3rd personâs perspective
4. reality checking myself when Iâm out somewhere Iâve never been before (wow im actually here, im not at home, im in another placeâŚ) over and over again
5. constantly feeling like whatever happened 3-4h ago happened yesterday
6. being trapped inside my head, processing surroundings and actively talking to myself, but staying quiet on the outside (possibly a sign of a shutdown)
7. feeling numb, hearing voices all mixed and as if they are coming from far away
8. not being able to properly process information, instantly forgetting what iâve just read/heard
MAXIMIZE YOUR REFERENCE: how to get proportions right!/ masterpost p.1
I finally found a suitable reference for my small tutorial^^ ofc it has to be Mon Mothma!! This technique might not be original but that's how I like to do it and what helps me a lot while working with references. i tried to make it is quite beginner friendly
Though back to the topic! The most important aspect of analyzing a reference is simplifying!
step 1 -> carefully break the picture into straight lines and build your contour. try to notice connections between the size of the lines
my tip: pay close attention to angles!
now repeat with hands! notice how they do not cross the line of her shoulders
my tip: notice how fingers, knuckles and arms form a lot of straight lines!
check proportions by breaking empty spaces on simple shapes and comparing them to your sketch
let's break her face next!
my tip: put a piece of paper or a pen on top of a reference to better see the tilt
another check point
step 2 -> notice connections!
see how the tip of the nose sits on the same line with her earlobe! eyes and the ear also form a straight line, so do her jaw and her lips!
try forming simple features starting from here. repeat with hands, notice patterns!
also, see how pointy her nose is and how we can use it
so, here we are so far! Try to analyze the shape of the cup I added. I also advise you to use a flat brush for your sketches. I wasn't using it for the sake of this tutorial but it makes your line work way smoother!
i'm seeing a lot of new ppl join tumblr who aren't making any spontaneous semi pathetic, oversharing personal textposts whatsoever and i just want to say you're doing it all wrong... this is not like instagram like meant to be some shiny highlight reel used to make u look good its supposed to be an incriminatingly revealing dark intimate look into your life & inner psyche while simultaneously no one knows who u are or gives a fuck... anyway hope this helps some of u get on the right track
amandla
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izzy806
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