#hyper vigilance

[rubypomegranates]

“Uncertain, afraid and very sure that something bad is going to happen to me.”

Oyinkan Braithwaite “My Sister, the Serial Killer”

[willowskindaobsessed]

I bring a wide eyed autistic vibe to the table that most find unsettling.

[svdaily]

I have spent 196488 hours of my life clenching my jaw

[embracetheunseen]

Hypervigilance isn’t just being anxious—it’s your nervous system staying ‘on alert’ even when there’s no immediate danger.

From replaying conversations to feeling tense in public, it shows up in daily life in ways you might not notice. Understanding it is the first step toward self-compassion and creating safety for yourself.

[its-all-down-hill]

[ruminate88]

In 2025, I thought I would be out of my little hibernation that I created last year where I spend as much time by myself as I can but guess not. I’ll get back to normal life again when it’s time. You can’t rush yourself. Our brains run on the clock but our bodies don’t.

You have to learn to love yourself (something you never did before by spending alone time with yourself.) You move slower, eat slower and rest more. You’re calming your nervous system and creating trust within yourself again. You’ll still have moments of being triggered and you’ll have moments of hyper-vigilance. This is all part of it. Healing is hard and there’s no deadline becuase it’s not a race or a project. It’s the chapter of your life that you’re in.

This is not about isolation or becoming selfish. You’re not trying to push people away and hurt them but you are finally taking care of your needs. You need to test your trust by getting back out there with people. You can’t hide forever and live in fear but process the lessons of the past. Use your lessons for future relationships. Your body will know when it’s time to push yourself harder. Right now, just take it easy. ❤️‍🩹 4/15/25

[surviving-trauma-day-by-day]

I often feel responsible for everything and everyone. Especially in social situations I feel like it's my responsibility that everyone feels comfortable and is enjoying themselves.

This is new. I wasn't like this before I got PTSD.

I wonder if that's an aspect of hypervigilence - constantly being on high alert and trying to "appease" everyone to prevent something bad from happening again.

[kikanawj]

miscommunication sucks.

Personal ramblings beneath the cut

I'm usually a very good communicater and mediator, because I read people at a hyper vigilant/hyper empathy level a lot of the time. It's one of my main coping strategies from childhood. It's useful, but does add up to a big mental load.

So I've been trying to, for years, be able to relax that part of my brain around people who are closer to me.

But, as it happens, quite a few people closest to me mask a decent amount of the time. And usually, I catch on to their feelings even before they do.

Like, I'll notice and say, "hey, you've been making those little noises under your breath that you do when you're in pain. Are you in pain, and do you want to do something about it?" And a usual response is "oh, yeah, no I am in pain and was just ignoring it out of habit. I should take some pain meds and go lay down."

And I like being able to help my friends and loved ones. But I know trying to be a filter and interpreter for them all the time leads to burn out for me, socially and mentally.

Cue most recent miscommunication.

I am playing a game with a couple of my loved ones. I do a bit of cheeky rules-lawyering that give me a small advantage. Loved one A says he didn't intend to have that happen, but doesn't fight against the rules call.

I noticed that loved one is giving slightly upset tone of voice and body language. I have a thought about taking back my game action- I don't want to upset the people I'm playing a game with to have fun.

But, I then remind myself, that my loved one could SAY if he's upset, or doesn't like what is happening in the game. He could ask me to take the game action back. He doesn't.

So I keep my observations to myself and continue with the game.

At the end of the game, I win and loved one A takes 2nd place. He then packs up his stuff with stiff and frustrated body language. And when the other player, Loved one B, asks if loved one A is okay, A responds, "No. Obviously."

Speaking with him later, Loved one A tells me he didn't realize he was upset when the game action and rules-lawyering happened. He only noticed it later on during the game, that he was upset and continuing to be upset.

I apologized. I would always rather everyone have fun when playing games. I don't care who wins or loses, that's not the point for me, or for any of us who regularly play together.

And if he had *said* anything about being upset during the game, I would have stopped and made his feelings the priority.

But like, I don't know how to reconcile that I can often read people better and quicker than they can read themselves. Things would have gone smoother in the short term if I had leaned in to my hyper vigilant observations. But then what do I do about trying to give myself mental strain breaks from being hyper vigilant?

I don't know.