[horreurscopes]

there is literally no logical, emotional, aesthetic, philosophical, moral, or sexy reason for the sun to be gone at 4.30 pm 

[another-exclus]

Vampires can come out earlier

[daddys-blunt-little-instrument]

One sexy reason

[losferwords]

[d-exclamation]

Every time I see this, I am reminded that it is the single greatest joke in the history of the written or spoken word.

[jayadan-deactivated20240228]

This is my favorite form of entertainment.

[wcreaf]

Sequel:

[beccaland]

Geek gatekeeping is a deadly occupation, and NOBODY has to do it.

Learn from the examples of the fallen, fellow nerds. Don’t be that guy.

[greenbeansinamug]

oh shit mr gaiman straight up murdered the person

[doctorthasmin-deactivated202410]

This still makes me giggle 😂

[injuries-in-dust]

This is right up there with those screenshots of a person mansplaning comic books to Gail Simmone,

[finnglas]

Sometimes you murder people on the internet.

Sometimes they run into your knife six times.

[randomslasher]

[randomslasher]

Oh God I keep finding more

[hypdom-deactivated20210221]

Oh this thread…. This thread… So good…

[omghotmemes]

Every night there’s something going on

[russiawave]

[magistrate-of-mediocrity]

Those am him leafs

[weatherall]

#leaf him alone

[kaiisens-deactivated20210811]

oh no im late for zoom class (◯Δ◯∥) *trips and falls and mmy fat fucking tits break my laptop in half* kyaaaaa!!!! (*≧∀≦*)

[ace-of-clovers]

[madderhatter]

[goblincrystals]

Did Roy ever find his boyfriend?

[madderhatter]

he did

[troyesivan]

happy for him

[rissi18]

YOU FORGOT THE BEST PART THEY ADOPTED A DAUGHTER NAMED TANGO BECAUSE IT TAKES 2 TO TANGO!!!! This is them:

and they even had a book written about them:

[thebusylilbird]

guys Tango found a girlfriend :’)

[sherlockedcarmilla]

Cleansing your dash… now!

[kneelbeforeclefairy]

@bestnoncannonship

[gehayi]

Their daughter, Tango (who likely would not have been born without her adoptive dads), fell in love with another female penguin at the Central Park Zoo, Tanuzi. As far as we know, Tango and Tanuzi have been together ever since.

[catchymemes]

Norwegian forest cat.

[ayellowbirds]

there’s enough tail there to make a second kitty

[mysdrymmumbles]

[catchymemes]

[smute]

“you are a lawyer and he is a hamster” is one of the funniest statements ive ever had the pleasure of reading

[dankmemeuniversity]

[someplace-warm-deactivated20220]

A N G R Y

C A T F I S H

[nyquilnap]

[nuclear-tea]

Photos that hit different in 2020.

[sharkylad]

I hate it

[hunter-of-light]

[February 2017] Winston, OR

Here’s a photo of a cutie patootie 👅

[doomhope]

[image description:

Three photos of a truly rotund brown bear in a grassy field. In each photo their tongue is sticking out.

End description.]

[bearbleps]

Seriously considering changing my name to bearbleps 🤔

[sandersstudies]

My husband’s job primarily employs adult men but there is one (1) teenage girl and my husband said originally he worried she might be a bit of an outcast but instead every man on the crew was like “huh guess I am a dad/older brother now.”

[sandersstudies]

She was in a car crash on the way to work one morning and called my husband to let him know she’d be late and he was like wtf guess I’m gonna be late too because I’m coming to pick you up and then he told his team and they were like I think you mean WE are coming.

[hoonkus-deactivated20230701]

Imagine you are a teenage girl probably rushing to get to work and you crash your probably new car and feel absolutely miserable and now you’ll be late to work but then suddenly in the distance a car full of all the adult men you work with just pulls up and is like “we came all the way here to pick you up” the mental image right now is fr.

[sandersstudies]

Apparently she tried to call her dad but it was 3am and he was obviously sleeping so she called my husband and he not only came to find her but fished her glasses out of the hood of the car (she’d dropped them while looking inside), drove her to the hospital, and told her to take the day off. She insisted on coming back to work so he used his lunch break to watch TV with her to make sure she didn’t doze off (concussion risk).

You’ve heard of the Mom friend but my husband is very much the Dad friend. He said when he answered the phone she said “hey please don’t be mad” and he’s never felt such powerful Fatherhood energy in his life.

[deliciouspaintthinner]

Girl: *calls for aid*

Every single dad packed into the car:

[sandersstudies]

This is possibly my favorite response to this post

[depsidase]

[lgb-tease]

Why would you hide this in the tags!

[tockthewatchdog]

“we were born wrong”

[teenblunder]

I’m thinking about going missing

[inber]

sometimes i get richard siken and richard scarry confused in my head which has made for a few interesting literary conversations

[beyoursledgehammer]

This was funnier in my head.

also I’m sorry.