*Enter Croissant from stage left*

I Speak in Stage Directions ™, References™, Absurd Allegories™ and Mystifying Metaphors™. be prepared for a lot of flinging onto furniture.

[identitycroissant-tm]

intro post

 "Abandon all hope, ye who enter here"

i am being serious. leave while you can.

well, best of luck.

Greetings, weary traveller.

at the risk of being ordinary, i will write this intro.

You may address me as Ananta Rudra, Chrysos, Arkos, Vyo, Vidyaanuragi, Croissant, Tess or Quaso.

my blog is an amalgamation of my daily activities, my hyperfixations, my moots, random reblogs and my original writings. so, proceed with caution.

I am a minor, so take note.

while i don't believe the vastness of human nature can be compartmentalised, i understand the innate need to label in order to find like-minded individuals. so:

preferred pronouns are they/them

INTP 5w8

Chaotic Neutral alignment

apparently, allegedly, beware of fake news, *sighs* charismatic, intelligent and witty

*deep breath* graysexual demiromantic non-binary lesbian

or literally just fucking queer

Undiagnosed but Suffering due to my organic free-range lil' fucked up malfunctioning supercomputer we like to call Brain. but it's getting better. I hope

my main fixations:

detective shit (criminology, forensics, toxicology)

space shit (astrophysics, astronomy, astrobiology)

theatre and music

some other interests:

politics, history, literature and languages

mythologies and cultures

philosophy

The Compass Syndicate (work in progress)

i would make a list of key media I consume, but I'm afraid that would defeat the purpose of an introduction so. Just drop me an ask if you're curious.

update: someone dropped an ask. Here's the list

I speak multiple languages and can play multiple instruments. (Can, but won't because I am a lazy bastard and my skills are FeO-ed)

asks are open and encouraged, for vents, advice, quite literally anything. Any and all hate asks or the like will not be deleted, but answered in whatever fashion I see appropriate.

I am almost consistently bored, so any fun facts, infodumps, puzzles, queries, are welcome and eagerly awaited.

DMs are open.

singing request asks are open.

Deduction blog : @croissantdeduces (very inactive.)

If you've made it up till here, you are dedicated. so try not to bore me.

[identitycroissant-tm]

worthless. kill yself

what an original thought anon. why don't you kill me yourself coward?

[the-archivist-system]

oh, fuck no.

Hi, Anon! I'm Rhea. I'm Ananta's girlfriend. You can take your pathetic attempt at hate, print it out on an A4 sheet of paper, and ram it up your fucking ass. Hopefully it gives you papercuts along the length of your rectum and jabs the stick already up there into your brain, killing you.

If you ever, and I mean *ever*, come near my ana's inbox again, I am going to find you, skin you alive and turn your skin into a fucking lampshade. Then, I will use your bones to make a chair, on top of which I will stack every shitty book ever written, and have that be your legacy.

Worthless scum.

[identitycroissant-tm]

ladies, gentlemen and everyone in between, that's my girlfriend.

thanks for the assist love <3

[identitycroissant-tm]

h1y4. 1v3 s33n y0u 0n my d4sh 4nd y0u s33m c00l.

- 🔢

Thank you for your praise :)

[identitycroissant-tm]

worthless. kill yself

what an original thought anon. why don't you kill me yourself coward?

[identitycroissant-tm]

my beloved. my love. my adored. the light of my life, my north star. my vyo. will you marry me?

Yes darling, of course I will <333

[identitycroissant-tm]

don't get me wrong, I love tragic backstories and life-changing events...

But you know what I really want? An evil guy who's evil just because. Like they have a normal childhood, nothing exceptional, but they just. Want to be evil.

[pukicho]

I find it hilarious they gave me hay despite having it just yesterday

[andy0dandy]

Why are you eating hay?

[pukicho]

They keep giving it to me?

[alanaisalive]

The other night husband and I were watching a documentary about the yeti where they were doing DNA analysis of samples of supposed yeti fur, and every one of them came back as bears.

Anyway, the next night we watched a thing about some pig man who is supposed to live in Vermont. People said it had claws and a pig nose but walked upright like a man. Now, I happen to know that sideshows used to shave bears and present them as pig men. So every piece of evidence they gave of this monster sounds to me like a bear with mange.

So now the running joke in our house is that everything is bears. Aliens? Bears. Loch Ness monster? Bear. Every cryptozoological mystery is just a very crafty bear.

Bears. They’re everywhere. Be wary. Anyone or anything could be a bear.

[iguanamouth]

oh shit

[throughshadow-to-the-edgeofnight]

[alanaisalive]

As the OP of this post, I’m going to threaten that if this gets to one million notes by the 10 year anniversary on 1 June 2026, one year from today, I will get a lower back tattoo of the loch ness bear monster.

[keith-oficcal]

@james-offical Brother, rally the troops

[james-offical]

@gaster-wd 💣︎✌︎✡︎ ✋︎ ☼︎☜︎✈︎🕆︎☜︎💧︎❄︎ ✡︎⚐︎🕆︎☼︎ ✌︎💧︎💧︎✋︎💧︎❄︎✌︎☠︎👍︎☜︎

[gaster-wd]

I don’t see why not.

Keep reading

[astracaedes]

oh look a BEAAAAAAAAAAR

Keep reading

[magnusttsisgay-official]

@vincian4 @razzberry-smoothie @gdfuub @crimson-miz @caffeinated–trauma-ferret @regigigas-enjoyer @do-not-u-dare @anna-in-the-afterglow @pipewire-official @archangelofbaal @221lesbiandconfused @autistobrat @warmfuzz-ies @reallyisgarbage @gothobelix

[edgebug]

I think it would be funny if most of Grace's eridian students went to him and asked for earth pronoun designations instead of picking for themselves, because they think it's cool to get word-gifts from the coolest teacher in the galaxy

and grace is trying so hard to not accidentally be sexist or assign gender roles to a monogendered species, so like, trying hard not to call someone he/him just because they like sports, or she/her just because they seem caring, or whatever. and he's having a hard time about it because he's like oh man why am I assigning the pronouns I'm assigning, i hope I'm not bringing any of my biases into this. just absolutely eating himself up over it

he tries to fix this by starting to roll a die, or throw darts at a dartboard, but his students immediately throw a fit because the point of the word-gifts is that they are specific, picked deliberately for them, right? and grace tries to explain gender bias and so on, but it becomes clear these kids could genuinely not give less of a shit, they just want to know what their AGAG (assigned gender at grace) is, alright? why is this so hard for him to understand??

eventually grace comes to the conclusion that he's on a different planet, and severely overthinking this, and that his kids really just are having fun--they really don't see the grace-given pronouns as categorization, he figures they see them as something more akin to astrology. or an eridian tiktok trend. when grace learns they call the assigning a word-gift he probably cries tbh

"teacher grace!!! what my pronoun question???"

"hmm. getting big they/them vibes off you"

"HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY. THANK"

[identitycroissant-tm]

i hit altissimo on my sax :DDD

[silly-little-arson-frog-offical]

super original couples shirt idea

[ooppo]

"He has a 12 inch cock" well my pussy ain't a fucking magicians hat bitch where is all that supposed to go

[ooppo]

[supersoniclovemachine]

THIS IS SO FUNNY OML

[liquidstar]

ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ

[liquidstar]

ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ

[liquidstar]

ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ

[liquidstar]

ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ

[liquidstar]

ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ

[liquidstar]

ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ

[liquidstar]

ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ

[liquidstar]

ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ

[liquidstar]

ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ

[crowshira]

[diangelo-supporter10]

[i-put-the-hyper-in-hyperfixated]

i think this may have been the first post i ever reblogged 🤔

[adjdhsue]

Incredible.

[transheadcrab]

why do they always show cranberries in thos big pits n its implied its wet and possibly swimmable. do cranberries really grow like that. wh

[khamingbird-blog]

You’ve never heard of The Bog?

[transheadcrab]

th

the what

[transheadcrab]

EACH ADDITION TO THIS POST MAKES MY BLOOD RUN COLD

[punkrorschach]

This is a cranberry bog (unflooded) it’s how cranberries grow. Once they’re ripe, the blog is flooded and the cranberries harvested.

Basically by using big floaty things to round them all up and then scooping them out of the water.

[transheadcrab]

thank u. i hate it a little less but the horrible little man in my head is still screaming “BOG BODY BOG BODY BOG BODY”, but i appreciate the education,

[bomberqueen17]

oh here is a fun lil perspective on cranberry harvesting i never heard about anywhere else. the guy who owns the restaurant right down the road from the farm, who fries our chickens sometimes, is from Boston, with the strongest Boston accent ever, and in a former life before he started slinging reasonably priced barbeque and occasional organic chicken, he was a cranberry farmer.

His farm was on the leading edge of kinda using organic/sustainable pest control methods, and one of the things that they did to keep insect damage down was that they encouraged wolf spiders to live in the cranberry field, to eat the bugs. 

This was all fine and good until they flooded the bog. Now, you don’t just like flood the bog and then go around it in a boat or whatever. No, you use hip waders to get in there and put the big floaty things where they go and get all the berries and such.

Well when you’re in the bog in hip waders, that makes you the tallest thing. Wolf spiders can swim a bit, but they don’t like it, so they’re, quite understandably, looking to climb out of the water onto a tall thing.

So yeah the first interview question he always asked potential cranberry bog harvester hires was “are you cool with spiders?”

“You’d be amazed,” he said to us, shaking his head a little, “how many guys would just straight lie. Like, you think I’m asking you that question to be cute? Nah man you’re gonna have like a hundred wolf spiders trying to climb your eyebrows, you gotta be chill, those wolf spiders are fellow employees. You really gotta be chill with spiders if you’re gonna work a cranberry harvest.”

[antiocheanism]

happy international workers day to the cranberry bog spiders

[massachusetts-official]

Official Post of Massachusetts

[identitycroissant-tm]

it's pride month so anyone and anything homophobic shall be put on trial in the gay court.

[identitycroissant-tm]

my grandfather to my grandmother when she tried to feed him across the table:

"this is cross-border terrorism."

[identitycroissant-tm]

pros of putting your partner's number and address inside your watch:

romantic AF

if someone did this for me im proposing

shows that you care

very spy, i-may-lose-my-life-but-i-trust-you coded

cons of putting your partner's number and address inside your watch:

you may stab yourself with a screwdriver trying to open the watch

owie :(