i am creap.. am a weyrdo⊠what hell im do hereÂ
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if i look back, i am lost
Peter Solarz

#extradirty
Stranger Things

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EXPECTATIONS
we're not kids anymore.
đ©” avery cochrane đ©”
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@ieasilyrunoutofideas
i am creap.. am a weyrdo⊠what hell im do hereÂ
I've invented a new system of government where before you pass any bill it has to be read by a philosopher, community leader, and a historian who are all entitled to reject the bill and/or beat the shit out of you for anything they feel is blatantly evil
I'd like to start implementing this in Florida
I'd throw in a scientist as well TBH
A philosopher, a community organizer, a historian, a scientist, and a politician walk into a bar.
The politician slides the rest of them several stacks of paper.
They all go out to the parking lot.
A philosopher, a community organizer, a historian, and a scientist walk into a bar.
What is this, some kind of joke?
The punchline was in the parking lot.
Wholesome acceptable rat kissing.Â
The addition I was waiting for lmao I fucking hate everything
3 guys are on a boat with 4 cigarettes but nothing to light them with
âŠso they throw one cigarette off the boat to make the boat a cigarette lighter
Itâs getting crowded in heaven, so one day Saint Peter decides to only accept people who make him laugh.
A man came walking up to the Pearly Gates, and Saint Peter said to him:
âAlright bud, youâre only getting in today if you can make me laugh, so why donât you tell me about how you died.â
The man looked at Saint Peter and said, âOh man, it was awful! I was absolutely sure my wife was having an affair, so I left work early to come home and try to catch her in the act. When I got home, sure as shit there she was, naked on the bed! I looked all over the apartment, but I couldnât find the guy anywhere. So I went outside on our 25th story balcony, and there he was!! Hanging over the edge by his fingertips! So I ran inside, and grabbed my hammer and ran back outside and started smashing his hands and fingers with it! He finally let go, and he fell down 25 stories but he landed in some bushes, so I ran inside and using all of my might, I grabbed my refrigerator, picked it up, and threw it over the rail and on top of the guy, crushing and killing him!! But all of the strain and exertion from picking up the refrigerator gave me a heart attack and I died.â
Saint Peter let out a faint chuckle, and since it was a crime of passion, he decided to let the poor soul in.
Another man came walking up to the pearly gates, and Saint Peter told this man the same thingâthat in order to get in, he was going to have to make Saint Peter laugh. So the second started to tell Saint Peter how he died.
âOh man, it was awful! I was doing aerobics out on my 26th story balcony of my apartment, when all of a sudden a flock of birds came out of nowhere and started attacking me! I was trying to get away, but I fell over the edge of my railing! However, on my way down I managed to grab the railing of the apartment below mineâŠbut then this maniac suddenly showed up and started smashing my hands and fingers with a hammer until I let go! Fortunately for me, I landed in some bushes, but then some guy dropped a freaking refrigerator on me!
Saint Peter chuckled again, let the second guy into heaven, and was realizing he has found a way he could really start enjoying his job! About that time, a 3rd man comes walking up to the pearly gates, and Saint Peter gave him the speech about needing to make him laugh, and asks him how he died.
âOh man, youâre never going to believe this shit! Alright, so picture thisâIâm butt naked and hiding in a refrigeratorâŠâ
WEâVE TALKED ABOUT YOUR URL JEFF
âŠjust three random headlines
why are there so many posts about asexuals being immune to sirens. people. sirens donât lure you in with sex (necessarily). they sing about whatever it is that you want most. they could sing about mothman or cinnamon toast crunch and guess what then your asexual pirate is fucking dead
this is the only kind of ace discourse i ever want to see on my dash. the only kind. ever again. good job
Do you think the sirens would be grateful that they finally get some variety?Â
âOh my god we can finally just sing about pasta thank the fucking gods.âÂ
Iâm not asexual but Iâm fairly certain sirens would do a far better job luring me into the depths with a song about pasta rather than sexâŠ
I mean.Â
âWHAT THE FUCK STAY AWAY FROM THE ROCKS.â
âFUCKER THEY SAID THEY HAVE FETTUCCINE CARBONARA AND HOT GARLIC BREAD OVER THERE HANG ON BITCH.âÂ
This is true; Odysseus heard them promising him knowledge of the future. Â So the next time you see artwork like this:
Remember those sultry naked chicks are saying âWeâll tell you the winning lotto numbers.â
Them: âWe have unlimited wifi at incredible speeds~â Me: *diving headfirst into the water*
This post is a blessing
Congratulations! Odysseus! Youâve been selected as a winner for the free $1000 Amazon Gift Card, Apple iPhone X 256G or Samsung Galaxy S8! Claim your prize now!
ok so thereâs a game me and my friends play called âdonât get me startedâ and basically someone gives another person a random topic and they have to go on an angry rant about it and itâs the best thing thatâs ever happened to us at parties and car rides so I highly recommend playing sometimes with your friends
I love this idea. We used to do things like this in Improv.
Related game: âTHINK ABOUT IT.â Youâre given a random topic, and your job is to build it into an epic conspiracy theory, the crazier the better. You end your rant with a serious face and the command that your listeners âThink about it.âÂ
Another related game: Illuninati. Similar to Think About It except you are given 2 completely different topics and you have to connect them to each other in a wild conspiracy rant
Rb to safe an awkward hang out
me and my friends play âWorldâs Greatest Expertâ where one of the other players says âHey, I heard youâre the worldâs greatest expert on ____â and you have to give an in depth (and probably completely false) lecture about the thing youâre the greatest expert on. Other players are allowed to ask you questions.
WaitâŠisnât that the one bald dude who makes really cool music and memes if I remember correctly đ€?
you mean sans??
This Blog Is NSFFH
not safe for frog haters
Teacher: This isnât something you can do the night before!
Me:
r e l a t a b l e
my favorite seal is that one that just goes âuuunhh. eggsâ and makes fart sounds with his mouth
I am literallyâŠlosing my FUCKING mind at 7:25 AM
ÏαÏαÏαÏαÏα *STAN PINES VOICE* Youâre losing your mind⊠@marmarbaxter @nefowls
OMG SHE SAID FLEX I HEARD IT SHEâS FLEXING ON US ALL OMG
Hagrid going back to Hogwarts after the war, and Harry taking him to Diagon Alley to return the favor :)
Pry this from my cold dead hands people.
NEFELI, THIS IS MY FAV THING EVER!!!! :â) THIS IS SO BEAUTIFUL THIS IS TOO BEAUTIFUL my heart just melted!!!
FâąRâąIâąEâąNâąDâąS Fan Theories Masterpost
Phoebe is Immortal/Deathless
In one scene Phoebe appears as a Civil War-era nurse. This is stated to be her ancestor but that could easily be a cover story
On the subject of World War I, Phoebe states âWe called it the Great War⊠and it was.â Nobody remarks on this being a joke, so it could easily be true.
Phoebe frequently claims to be communicating with ghosts and is even possessed at least once
Phoebe claims that each time she visits the dentist, someone dies. This could be because she is stealing their lifeforce, consciously or not
Monica is a Vampire
Monica prefers her environment to be extremely neat and tidy, just like a vampire.
Monica is never seen to use garlic in her cooking
There are no crucifixes or salt circles in Monicaâs apartment
Monica is never seen to stand in direct sunlight
Rachel Lives the Double Life of a Night Vigilante
Rachel stays at a dead end job at a coffeeshop despite having no skill there or interest in her work. This is because the hours are convenient for her to be up all hours of the night.
The kevlar suit and utility belt seen in Rachelâs closet are never explained
Rachel is never seen in the same room as FRIENDSWOMAN, the vigilante character. In fact, FRIENDSWOMAN is often seen to dash into Rachelâs room only for Rachel to step out moments later, hair tousled
The sword and mask under Rachelâs bed are never explained
Ross is Joey
Outside of the credits sequence, the two characters are never seen in the same room as each other, although they often repeat what they have apparently been told by each other off-camera
Rossâs son Beb inherits Joeyâs catchphrase âHow are you???â and these are in fact his first and only words
Despite Joey being the actor, Ross has been shown to have quite a lot of skill in acting, such as the time he convinced everyone that he was actually metamorphosing into an end table
Chandler is a Time Traveler
Okay this is cheating since itâs not a fan-theory if itâs been confirmed by the showâs creators. Mack and Chep Friendsmith, the twin showrunners have confirmed in an interview that Chandler is in fact capable of travelling through time and space, explaining the easter egg âBackground Chandliesâ found by fans at least once in each episode.
Gunther is a Skull
This is pretty self-explanatory
donât panic!
Technically speaking, aliens invaded the moon in 1969.