[elokitties]

let’s all be grown women together❤️

[elokitties]

let’s all get old and have wrinkles and sun damage and facial hair ❤️

[elokitties]

LET’S EAT FOOD AND GET GRAY HAIR😍

[jingle-knight]

I’m soooooo embarrassed. My lord told me “good night,” but I thought he was calling me a good knight, and, well, you could hear it clink against my codpiece.

[staytrueblue]

I just let out the most ungodly cackle of a laugh

[bewbin]

if you need us the missus and me will be in the other room having a duel with old flintlock pistols missing each other with every shot not only because we love each other but also because we both are dog shit at this

[crownkeeper]

before there were blorbos there were little meow meows and before there were little meow meows there were cinnamon rolls

[crownkeeper]

and smol beans.

[marxism-transgenderism]

LOCAL MIDWESTERN GIRLS INTOX FANTASIES SAVED BY ASSURANCE THAT "WHISKEY DICK DONT MATTER WHEN YOURE NOT THE ONE TOPPING"

[marxism-transgenderism]

MIDWESTERN GIRLS CNC FANTASIES POORLY COMMUNICATED WHEN THE QUESTION "YOU WANT IT LITTLE GIRL" IS REPLIED TO WITH "NO YEAH NO"

[marxism-transgenderism]

MIDWESTERN GIRLS PUNISHMENT KINK IMPLEMENTED PERFECTLY DESPITE HER INABILITY TO SAY "SORRY MOMMY" WITHOUT SAYING "OPE" FIRST

[cupofzo]

GIMMIE.

[wordfather]

idk if this is an usamerican thing or not but it always blows my mind as a small european country resident that yall have many names and types of apples???? what do you mean its not just red yellow or green??? why is it so complicated??? who is granny smith????

[wordfather]

'whats your favorite apple' 'red' 'no i mean like what type' '??????' actual conversatiom i've had with a mutual from usa

[wordfather]

THIRTY TWO??????

[phillyphillyphilly]

Listen that doesn’t even account for all the weird shit local farmers are getting up to.

May I present the best apple:

[wordfather]

the world is so big and beautiful

[insomniac-arrest]

going out for a smoke even when you don't smoke girl summer. just go outside like you need a smoke and pretend to be your own father

[sakana-no-yama]

[orcboxer]

got a crick in my neck and a frog in my throat and a chip on my shoulder and a stick up my ass and now you're gonna stand there puttin words in my mouth? haven't I been through enough?

[escuerzoresucitado]

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

[minidodds]

[maskdoll]

fuck i’m trying to catch all these flies but they think my vinegar is stupid. i have honey also but that’s for me i can’t give them any of that

[estrogenesis-eeveeangelion]

management trying to hire and retain employees

[zk-j]

“Where are the trans men in history?” See. When you're born a gender that was forcefully married off, who had to live most of their life indoors, when you had to raise children, and had a lobotomy if your family thought you were a tad too odd, it's kinda hard to come out as a trans man now ain't it.

[teefiesworld]

forever my lineage would use his wrong pronouns but not me

[snapcracklepop-myjoints]

i think the common rhetoric that you shouldnt smoke because it doesnt look sexy is weird because firstly. many many people do think its sexy and pretending otherwise wont get us anywhere. but secondly and more crucially you shouldnt decide what to do and not do based on sex appeal maybe actually

[goats-ablaze]

woke up today and realized that tumblr entirely killed fuck ya life bing bong so here ya go again

[thereisselfpreservation]