current opsesion: bg3

Fannish Butterfly my 2nd acc after the purge git the 1st one RIP

[scribefindegil]

everyone who is not currently in the process of moving please pause and take a moment to be grateful that you're not currently in the process of moving

[androidboy]

literally my favorite type of tweet

[forgissimus]

oh my god i have some of these saved 1 sec

[valtsv]

[tennant]

STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION (1987-1994) “Haven” (1.11)

[toloveviceforitself]

True and valid

[escuerzoresucitado]

[cokezerovape]

[morganathewitch]

Moss and clover, Skottvång Sweden.

[whispers-in-a-dream]

It's not clover it's ... wood sorrel. It tastes like blueberries and has cute white flowers early, just before the summer starts.

[elodieunderglass]

The clover emojis ☘️ 🍀 actually depict wood sorrel - note the heart shaped leaves!

[pronouncingitwang]

at some point in your life you will be boiling fruit, water, sugar, and lemon juice in a pot to make a syrup or jam. the instructions will tell you to simmer for a certain amt of time. your timer will go off and you will look at the pot and go, "hm, this doesn't look thick enough. maybe i'll let it go for another 10 minutes." this is the devil speaking. it's only so liquid right now because it is at boiling point. it will thicken when it cools down. learn from the follies of my youth and do not let this happen to you

[yokowan]

at some point in your life you will be making a sauce or a stew in which you need to add cornstarch to thicken it. and you will prepare a slurry of starch in cold water and think "this looks like way too little starch to thicken this amount of liquid." this is the devil speaking. cornstarch instantly polymerizes at 95°C and if you add too much it will turn into an impossibly thick goop.

[le-jardin-inculte]

at some point in your life you will be making some sort of cream based dessert that requires gelatin to thicken it. and you will soak some gelatin sheets in water and think "this is too few gelatin sheets for this amount of cream." this is the devil speaking. it will thicken in the fridge and if you add too much you will end up with milk jelly

[shithowdy]

at some point in your life you will be baking cookies. you will take the sheet out after twelve minutes as the recipe instructs and the cookies will still be glistening and soft. "these don't seem cooked enough," you will think to yourself, "i should place them back into the oven until their edges are nice and golden." this is the devil talking. this is how you get dry, overdone cookies. the cookies will continue to bake on the warm sheet for several more minutes and then harden up after sitting on a rack for a while. trust the process. trust the process.

[whitachi]

at some point in your life you will be adding a small pasta to a soup and you will think "that is not enough small pasta." this is the devil talking. the pasta will absorb the stock and expand. this is how you end up with a soup that is a solid mass of soggy ditalini.

[araceil]

At some point in your life you will be adding garlic to a dish and you will think "that is not enough garlic." These are angels speaking. They are correct. Add more garlic.

[mf-dooom]

[yetanothergreyjedi]

that is the face of a man worried he will be next

[ashtraythief]

Good news, he was not next! In fact, she accepted him as her mate, he learned the crane mating dance and now every year, he artificially inseminates her with crane semen to expand the very endangered crane population. True story.

[luulapants]

Sorry, he WHAT? Imagine being this man's boss and having to sit him down like. Listen. Brian. We need you to fuck the bird. You have to act like you're excited about it.

[whetstonefires]

crane husband.....

[roach-works]

this is the diametric opposite of all those awful swan wife stories and i love it.

[alex51324]

(WalWaPo makes you jump through like three separate hoops before you can read the article, so I will share some of the highlights:

Walnut was born in a species-recovery breeding program in the 1980′s.  The program had crane chicks hand-raised by human volunteers, and at that time they did not fully understand the measures necessary make sure that the chicks do not imprint on humans and retain their identity as cranes.  

As a result, her keepers believe, Walnut does not recognize other cranes as members of her own species.  

It has not been proven that Walnut killed her previous suitors; however, there is a persistent rumor in the white-naped-crane-conservation community that she did.  

Because this species is highly endangered, and the gene pool of the captive population is small, it’s pretty important for the survival of her species that Walnut A) mate, and B) not kill a bunch of other cranes.  

The actual name of the keeper is Chris Crowe.

They both arrived at the Smithsonian Conservation Biology Institute in 2004.   

Walnut immediately began paying special attention to Chris--and ignoring the eligible male crane in a nearby enclosure.  

Walnut initiated their courtship, performing the opening moves of a mating dance.  

Chris realized that if he reciprocated the mating dance, it might be possible to artificially inseminate Walnut with her participation and consent.  (The process normally involves restraining the bird.)  

It worked!  

Chris and Walnut have had five children, who were raised by other crane couples at the facility--sometimes the biological dad and his mate--both because it’s unclear whether Walnut would accept the chicks as her own, and because Chris is not equipped to be a Crane Dad.  

However, the Institute provides her with artificial eggs to sit on, and Chris takes his turn looking after them.  (This would not work with real eggs because he can’t sit on them properly, but Walnut seems to feel that he is on the job if he just stands over them.)

Chris accepts that he is pretty much married to this bird.  White-naped cranes live to be about 60, and they mate for life, so he knows he can’t retire while Walnut is alive.  (At the time of the article, Walnut was 36, and Chris 42.)  

[thesylverlining]

Legit cannot pick the funniest part of this

she has not been PROVEN to have killed her exes, but there is a PERSISTENT RUMOR (really officers she's simply DEVASTATED, she sobs, wearing a new feather boa unfortunately resembling her most recent deceased husband)

His name is Chris CROWE. (Mrs. Walnut Crane-Crowe?)

the mental images of a whole human man learning and performing the crane mating dance, and "sitting" on artificial eggs so she thinks he's performing his duties as a husband and father (and apparently OBJECTS if he does not?)

"chris, buddy, you gotta marry the possibly-murderous crane lady for the GOOD OF THE SPECIES." (alternately: "chris, my man! good news! we found you a very interested lady! She's 36, she's very spirited and independent, she holds a very important and rare status in her society! ...Is there a downside? WELL...")

chris sits any potential human partners down, like "my love, you must understand before we wed,,, i am already... Attached" (camera drifts wistfully to the above photo) "Lady Walnut and I have an,, Understanding... the relationship is open, but very committed"

[anais-ninja-bitch]

just had to explain this post to my father bc he thought my stifled laughter was a signal of illness.

well done, everyone, good game. hit the showers.

[largishcat]

[eshlimoriarty]

[lazorsandparadox]

Not only is he 'married' to walnut, this has apparently happened SEVERAL times, so he has MULTIPLE crane wives, none of which know about any of his other crane wives. This man is, for some unknown reason, irresistible to cranes

[queersatanic]

the “this content has been removed for violating Tumblr’s Community Guidelines” notice really adds a lot of flavor to this post and somehow makes it MORE obscene than whatever that actually was

[worldheritageposts-official]

World Heritage Post

[kedreeva]

I regret being the bearer of bad news, but I thought it should be shared that Walnut passed away in January of this year (2024). There's a lot of mixed info about the lifespan of cranes (due to people misunderstanding what a median is...) but the average for most species I know of is 20-30 years (in the wild if nothing eats them/they don't die young), and 30-45 in captivity, with the oldest known white-naped crane having loved to be 46. Given that she was 42, this old gal did good, and I'm certain she will be missed by folks here.

[optimysticals]

Fly on forever Walnut Crane-Crowe

[playwrongs]

Stephen King’s Fujo

[kungfunurse]

yeah @sunderwight these tags are gold

[puppydogwhitaker]

robby’s abandonment by his mother adds another layer to his relationship to jake.

he’s not biologically related to jake, but he maintains a close bond with him after splitting up with his mother. the first season takes place in 2025, jake is 17. heather implies she was with robby at least towards the end of the height of the COVID pandemic, meaning jake was at the most 14/15 when robby and his mother broke up, most likely much younger if there was a gap between janey and heather.

it’s hard to maintain relationships with kids after break ups like that when you have no parental rights, especially during a pandemic when pods were small and robby was probably isolating himself because of possible exposure. he wouldn’t have had any custody schedule or guaranteed visitation. it would’ve been robby, jake, and janey all opting into that continued relationship at every step.

it’s not atypical for relationships like that to fade, but everyone at the ER knew jake, even frank, who would’ve started in the ER probably after janey and robby broke up (and when the ED didn’t allow casual visits). so jake has been stopping by the pitt at a decent frequency in the past year or two.

it would’ve been easier to not see jake frequently, let it fade because of the pandemic. robby’s obviously struggled to maintain connections while he was in the worst of his grief, and yet he kept up with jake. why? because robby doesn’t want to be his mother. robby doesn’t want to abandon a kid he promised to care for.

so he’ll plan basketball games even though he has a bad back, he’ll get pittfest tickets and let the kid take his girlfriend because that’s much more fun than hanging out with your not quite step dad, he’ll reach for his wallet to try to offer money, and jake will feel comfortable enough to say he’s already gotten condoms (prompting robby to freak out in that parental way on whether or not jake is having sex already).

so robby tries his hardest not to repeat the trauma his mother inflicted on him. he tries his hardest to be there. and then it turns around and jake’s the one to push robby away, further confirming robby’s worst fear. that he’s just unlovable and somehow not worthy of family, that he will always be the one being abandoned

this was one of the most important connections robby had left with anybody because it helped him rewrite that initial trauma by allowing robby to be the type of person young him needed. robby probably felt so psychologically safe in this relationship with jake, because, in his head, the parent is supposed to be the one with the power to leave. that moment where jake insists robby is not his dad is made doubly painful by robby’s past trauma, because robby felt safe in the idea that a child would never reject the parent.

[hucklerabbot-and-rock]

[catilinas]

i love shipping magazines and i especially love them when they sound like they were written by a mildly aggravated cargo ship

[dogpuppy]

[cokezerovape]

[paverics]

“my father is a boy and my mother is a girl so i’m mixed” is the funniest possible response to someone asking your gender and it came from 6’5 Viking footballer and notable weird little guy Erling Haaland on a Snapchat

[paverics]

comedians can only dream of writing something this funny

[ratboy-tummy-deactivated2026022]

This is still the funniest thing to come out of Bugsnax

[from-the-abbot-to-the-pope]

Hucklerabbot SMAU

Previous | Part 29 | Next | Masterlist

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