The Beginning of the End @illtakearaincheck - Tumblr Blog

chuckhistory

wondyrwoman-deactivated20160623

My uncle’s sugar daddy is sitting next to me, showing me pictures of his cat

doctorfeliuzumaki

There are sentences I expect to read and then there’s this

terraform-titan-deactivated2019

When I was in 8th grade a friend of mine and I were fucking around during our study period and he accidentally stabbed me in the arm with a pencil and the pencil was partially stuck in my arm but I was really shy in social situations so I just raised my hand and waited for the teacher to notice which took about five minutes so when he finally asked me what I needed I said “TJ accidentally stabbed me with a pencil a few minutes ago and now it’s hanging out of my arm, can I go see the nurse?”. He freaked out and yelled “OH MY GOD SEBASTIAN WHY DIDNT YOU TELL ME RIGHT AWAY?” And I said right back “please don’t yell at me, I have a pencil in my arm, if anyone is yelling it should be me” and that sums up my attitude and personality fairly well tbh

betterthankanyebitch

With that, I have just two more words to say:

left-reminders

faggottt

His face says it all

esiuqram

ESIUQRAM

bijoux-et-mineraux

Polished Malachite Stalactite - Copper Crescent, Congo

xekstrin

*looks around*

Is

Is anyone gonna say it

brambledboneyards

malachite is a poisonous mineral. please do not fuck the malachite stalactite

zdravomilla-deactivated20220114

@lizaleigh do you know any rock people that can confirm/deny because I am very curious and really don’t feel like getting into a conversation with my geophysicist brother that MAY somehow get back to the fact I saw a malachite that looked like a weird dildo.

lizaleigh

…sadly, I am not on good enough terms with any of our partner geologists to just attach this to an email with the subject line: “EXPLAIN.” Although I think @mollisaurus is a mineral person. Thoughts?

mollisaurus

oh geeze, i’m kinda rusty on minerals but malachite is just copper carbonate and is really common in both antique and modern jewelry so i think like if you were really gun-ho about it you could go ahead and put it wherever you want?

vulcanology-geology

It’s really only a problem if you’re polishing or cutting it. The particles would be bad to breathe. It’s rather porous too, so I would worry about bacteria growing. Well, being literal anyway… Better to leave the poor thing alone. ._.

thepioden

I mean it kinda depends on where you stick it because malachite does not like acidic environments very much and the malachite will degrade and also might dye your bits blue-green as the copper dissolves out.

So use a condom when fucking rocks is the takeaway here.

rosenagldky-deactivated20201223

Oh my god guys it’s poisonous

It is super poisonous

There is a reason we do not use it in make up any more

Not even with a condom, do not fuck the rock

nassadii

Try this one instead.

naughtylittledragon

malachite literally explodes in water does it not?

rosenagldky-deactivated20201223

I… no… I think you’re thinking of pure sodium?

Malachite is however water soluble, which really just means it will poison you quicker

reclusiveandelusive

This is both hilarious and cool as fuck because you’re getting all this information on minerals and rocks. You’re also watching people argue over wether or not you can fuck this rock

bijoux-et-mineraux

I go on hiatus for a week and come back to find tumblr molesting my post, but hey, at least we all learned something so yay tumblr, you just keep on being you.

aimee-b-loved

I’m still not sure if I can fuck this rock.

adulthoodisokay

I’m looking into it.

adulthoodisokay

UPDATE:

buzzfeed

Today in “I’m so sorry, coworkers, it’s for Tumblr,” I brought this post to the attention of the science reporters at BuzzFeed. Dan Vergano did some research and weighed in on the question: “Can you use malachite as a dildo or is it toxic?”

The answer is “It’s probably fine, just wash it first and maybe use a bunch of lube.”